Thai Blogs

Which one is Gents and which one Ladies?

When you are travelling abroad in Asia, one of the things that you have to contend with are the so called squat toilets. At the basic level, they are just a hole in the floor. But more likely than not, there will be a kind of porcelain bowl on the floor with foot rests on either side. Unlike in the “traditional” Western toilet, there is no seat. Many foreign tourists travelling in Thailand turn their noses up at these squat toilets as being unhygienic. However, at the end of the day, the squat toilet wins hands down when it comes to health – though not always to safety as I will reveal in a moment.

People have complained about the state of toilets in Thailand. They may not be pristine or even convenient in all locations, but it could be a lot worse. I remember when I was backpacking across China and the thing that struck me first was the fact that the toilet cubicles hardly ever had any doors. Then, when I reached India I noticed that many people were relieving themselves alongside the road. I guess the Indians like this convenience so much that they even built outdoor toilets for men with just a low wall to shade you from prying eyes. However, as you did your business, you had a nice view of people walking up and down the street.

Sometimes you have to pay to use the restroom

Once I finally reached Thailand I was relieved to find better toilets. Though, mainly only in Bangkok and major cities around the country. By this time, I already had a plan of action in case of being caught short during the day. What I would do is make a beeline for the nearest five star hotel and walk into the lobby as if I owned the place. These toilets were generally a lot better. An alternative was the big shopping malls which often had a bigger budget for their rest rooms. They often also had cleaners there full time in order to keep the place clean. However, be warned, if you are a man standing at a urinal doing your business, don’t be shocked if a female cleaner comes in and starts mopping the floor between your legs. Thais don’t bat an eyelid so you shouldn’t too.

Outside of Bangkok the toilets are more hit and miss. You will also hardly ever see any more Western style toilets. Even in Bangkok they are not everywhere, but you might find a couple of cubicles which don’t have squat toilets. In theory, if you are at a tourist destination then the toilets should at least be clean. This is because they often charge you a few baht to enter. This then pays towards the cleaner who is usually there all day. Sometimes there is a machine that dispenses a small box of tissues for a few baht, but again you cannot rely on this. Usually the price of entry for Thai and foreign tourists is the same. However, I noticed in Ayutthaya that they charge more for foreigners for the same service. Maybe they leave more of a mess?

Bilingual Toilet Signs

Although I have now been living in Thailand for many years, I must admit that I am no expert when it comes to using squat toilets. I tend to avoid them like the plague. The toilets in the house that I bought were all squat toilets and those were the first things that I had ripped out and replaced with something more comfortable. If I go out then I try not to eat so much. However, if you are a woman, or you had something to eat that didn’t quite agree with you, then sometimes you have no choice but to take the plunge. Though, as the floor is often wet and slippery, be very careful that you don’t fall in or let something fall out of your pockets into the toilet bowl.

For many Asians they have no problems about using squat toilets. I guess they have been trained to squat properly since an early age. I remember noting when I was travelling through China and Pakistan that every time the long distance buses stopped for a break or broke down, that the locals got out and then sat down by the side of the road. However, they didn’t actually sit down. They squatted with the soles of both feet firmly on the ground. When I tried to do the same, I could only balance on my toes. If I squatted with my soles firmly against the ground then I tended to slowly tilt backwards until I tipped over. Then, trying to balance only on the front part of my feet was also difficult, and painful, and I couldn’t last long without falling over. The locals just made it look so easy.

There have been a number of campaigns in Thailand to clean up the toilets. Some government officials put in charge of campaigns were called “Mr. Toilet”. I remember one time that they tried to change all the squat toilets in army barracks to Western style toilets. However, even though they sent the soldiers on training courses, the mission failed badly. Many Asians consider our toilets unhealthy as you have to make contact with the seat. Unlike theirs where you just squat above. What happened with the soldiers is that many of them decided to squat up on top of the toilet seat. This of course made the seats even dirtier with muddy footprints. And of course, the seat cover isn’t made from porcelain and they then often broke. Sometimes I see stickers in shopping malls that tell people not to squat on top of the toilet seat.

Which brings us back to the Asian squat toilets and how we are supposed to use them ourselves. Well, not with ease. You need to practice. Apart from the balancing act which I have already mentioned, you also have to be very careful not to soil your clothes. A woman with a skirt would probably find it the easiest. With trousers you need to make sure that you are tilting back a little otherwise you might deliver your package in the wrong location. So, some people decide to remove their trousers in order to avoid this problem. However, you will find that the toilet floors are often always wet. This is because of the traditional flush system. There isn’t an automatic one and you have to do the job yourself! This involves using a bowl to scoop out water in a large container and flushing the toilet by hand.

Toilets for Ladyboys

When I was backpacking I always carried with me a spare roll of toilet paper. However, strictly speaking, you shouldn’t flush toilet paper down the toilet as the pipes are not wide enough to cope with them. So, what Thai people do instead is use the plastic bowl you find in every cubicle and scoop some water into it. You then use this to clean yourself. You should remember to use your left hand to do this job. This is why in Asian countries the left hand is always considered unclean and you shouldn’t use it to eat food or pass something to someone. When you are cleaning yourself, you also need to make sure that you don’t get any of your clothes soaking wet. This explains why the floors are so wet. If you need to use some tissue, you will often see a wastepaper basket alongside the squat toilet and you should dispose of it there.

I don’t really want to scare you about using toilets in Thailand. In my own experience, they haven’t been too bad. However, I do tend to avoid public toilets! And when I need to go I try and pick one that looks clean from the outside and that they charge you to use. Though the toilets in shopping malls and places like temples and restaurants are often free. The only slight problem you might have is knowing which one is for men and which one for women. The sign is nearly always written in Thai. If you are lucky then there will be pictograms of the different sexes. But, don’t count on it in rural areas. Sometimes you do need to memorize the letters for each sex otherwise you might end up in the wrong place. And sometimes, you need to know how to ask where the toilet is. I think that was my first phrase that I learned. “Hong nam, yoo tee nai”. Have fun and don’t fall down the toilet!

This is the continuation of the interview with the PAD. Click here to see Part 1. Scroll to the bottom for a competition to win PAD memorabilia!

How come the PAD has been so reluctant to join a negotiation table?

How can you expect us to talk or negotiate with a bunch of thieves? Imagine this, you catch thieves burgling your house. What are you gonna do, have a friendly chat with them? Come on…. Take one step back? No, we can’t do that. Many people claim they are ‘in the middle’. We can’t accept that. Just shows that you must be on their side. Example – you see someone beating up a child, what do you do just stand there and claim ‘I’m in the middle’ so I won’t interfere? How can anyone simply stand idle while they see corrupt old dirty thieves robbing the country dry? If you are a good guy who wants to protect your nation’s assets, you will take action. So, how can we give leeway or have a discussion with immoral people? In this kind of situation, you have to take sides. If not, it just goes to prove whose side you are on and it’s not the PAD’s, it’s the criminal corrupt thieves.

As of now, what has the PAD actually accomplished?

Lots. Most importantly, since we have been working as a scrutinizing watchdog, the government hasn’t been able to get away with as much corruption as before. They are much more careful. If it wasn’t for the PAD, Thaksin using his corrupt ways, would probably have got off scot-free – now he daren’t use his filthy hands to try and meddle with the justice system, unlike before. The PAD has also been successful in ridding the cabinet of its worst members. Take Noppadon (former foreign minister) who secretly signed over our historical heritage of Khao Phra Viharn to the Cambodians. Sacrificing our culture and identity for the sake of Thaksin and his business ventures. If it wasn’t for the PAD applying its fact-finding probe, Noppadon would still be minister today. Same goes for that Jakrapop Penkair and his lese-majeste speech at the FCCT, if it wasn’t for the PAD the police would never have taken action – he would still be slurring the highest institution today. Same goes for example of the anti-institution republican-loving UDD leader and Da-Torpedo etc…. The PAD helped ensure they were arrested, spent time behind bars and are gonna be prosecuted to the full extent of the lese-majeste law.
The PAD helps make sure traitors like that get kicked.

On the subject of the UDD (United Front for Democracy Against Dictatorship). What’s your overall opinion of them?

My opinion? The UDD supporters, unlike the PADs, have no knowledge about politics. They are a government proxy for starting chaos; the government doesn’t want the public and the international media to think they are trouble-makers, so they go hire the UDD. The UDD is nothing like the PAD, the UDD is sponsored by politicians while the PAD is sponsored by the people. The PAD supporters don’t get paid to attend Government House, unlike the UDD who get backhanders from politician cronies to go to all of their rallies. Completely different. Look at the PAD supporters at Government House, they get more than enough food to eat. They get washing machines, they get sleeping mats, they get medicine, they get volunteer doctors…… A speaker on the stage needs only ask, and the PAD supporters will get. This is what we call the PAD’s Magic Microphone. Take the scenario of October 7 (fatal clashes with the police) within 10 days the PAD had received 34 million baht in public donations for the 600 injured. Even Her Majesty the Queen showed her concern and helped out, now that say something. The UDD has only the support of corrupt PPP politicians, but the PAD has the support of the people.

Unlike the ‘know-nothing’ speakers at the UDD mob on Sanam Luang, the speakers for the PAD at Government House make the place a university. We call it ‘Interactive Learning Through Action’. There are professors, farmers, NGO’s, labor leaders, national artists and musicians. Sometimes the UDD are so impressed that they have to call in spies to see who we have on stage next.

What are these ‘new politics’ of the PAD?

Firstly, ‘new politics’ are Good Governance, Transparency, No Sanctions Participation and Accountability. Good governance is what it says, while transparency is the freedom of information. With transparency there will be a huge clampdown on corruption. There will be no more hidden concession-filled corrupt agendas like the building of useless dams. The people will be able to see for themselves the exact budget and costs and where all the money goes. There will be no more financial secrets. No Sanctions means no more controlling of civil servants, local authorities and police. Take for example a vacancy for a school director or vice-governor, in Old Politics, the position goes to the person who has paid off enough people, the person with the most connected friends. An honest local politician finds it hard to work his way up the ladder, cause of bigger corrupt politicians who don’t want anyone interfering with their dirty backhanders.

Participation means that local villagers for example, get a say in what goes on in their village and how their annual budget is spent. You could call it more public hearings. With people’s support it should be easier to get a corrupt official booted out of office, at the moment it is 50,000 signatures – way too many. We also call for a ‘special government’ where maybe 70% of the political office holders will be appointed and 30% elected. “Power to the People’ they will be given political decision making powers, or if they wish, they can hand some of them over to the King.

If the PPP continually clings to power, would the PAD support a military coup?

No. We only ask that the army protects us (at Government House) from the uncivilized violent UDD members and the police. We are Ghandi-like, our philosophy is one of non-violence. We don’t fight with weapons; we only fight with people-power, our hearts and the spreading of knowledge. If the military wants to protect the monarchy, then they ought to protect us too.

And finally Ajarn, the last time we met you spoke a bit about ‘Civil Obedience’ as being one of the PADs strategies. Perhaps you could go into more details.

Just like Ghandi’s ‘non-violence people’s power’ strategy, we will continue to use civil disobedience. And civil disobedience isn’t illegal. Wherever the PPP politicians travel to in Thailand, they’ll be on the receiving end of our hand clappers. No escaping them. As for British products, unless the British government start even contemplating sending Thaksin back, the PAD will boycott as they already, are British goods.Tesco Lotus is an no-go. Just a couple of weeks back, after Siam Paragon barred PAD supporters wearing yellow shirts from entry – that place, unless its to take a piss, is a no-no too for the PAD. The PAD are never gonna give up, we are gonna continue on this path of non-violence and civil obedience until every root of Thaksins has been dug up.

COMPETITION: Do you want a chance to own some PAD memorabilia? Click here to find out what you can win and to see what the easy question is.