A superbly piece of writing.
Very thoughtfully written.
I did find a couple of typos a distraction: sees/seems, lying/laying...
The article deserves followups!!

Steve, maybe you should become the Daily Xpress's "Agony Uncle" and solve these "cultural misunderstandings" on a weekly basis!

Great work!!!!

I have a Thai faince and she is the BEST woman ever! I would NEVER date ANY western woman ever again.

I laughed when you wrote about the friend coming and the sun tan. We went out many many times with her friend before we went out alone. I took them to the Indy 500 (not my idea, it was theirs) and they wore long sleeve shirts, long pants, huge hats and loads of sunscreen. Now I am used to it and understand why after being to Thailand, not to mention how they tend to look down at dark skin, but at the time I chuckled a bit.

Thank you for writing a great article. If I have one more dumbass farang act like all Thai women are bar girls, I will surely punch them in the face.

Thai women are very cultured and respectful. The ones I have met are loved greatly by the instructors at my university because they are just kind and sincere. We don't typically have those types of people here in the US.

A lot of this is shown in our book "Ten Years to Bangkok" we will soon to be married 30 years and have gone through the parents on both sides which have all four gone to a better place. You have to expect the clash of cultures in a mixed marriage like this. Difference in eating habits also.

Interesting choice of pictures. he he he

Those expecting manners from a B-girl to be that of an educated lass may be as naive as "I love you too much"...

Boozers and B-girls naturally deserve each other!

While the guy that "would never date a western girl again"...thats about as funny as it gets!

My time in the Land Of Smiles taught me that a fool and his money are soon parted...

Many of these fools were easily parted with their money BEFORE they ever came to Thailand, in Thailand, they figured "I love you too much" from someone they often didn't even know the LAST name of is typical of such buffons.

We've all heard the multitude of wild tales of those that met "Ms Universe in a PatPong Bar", but how many met her at the Wat, University or Medical facility?

Lounge lizards are always welcome, til their baht runs out and they face the grim reality that you can't really BUY love!

Another great piece Steve.

Great advice for farang males, given gently, when you could have been taking pot shots at sitting ducks.

Hi Steve,

Well done on writing about these topics.
My story on "Money can buy me no love" may be of an interest to you on dowry info.

Cheers,
Nikki

lost_packet, you make all western women sound bad. im sure there's decent ladies out there. i was kinda... *gasp* by that, but it's kool too. i respect your opinion. take care.

true, interesting.

but somehow... the 'rabid stray dogs' keep popping in my head. now when im in thailand, i'll be sooo paranoid. heehhee.

thanks for the article. take care.

I think most of the stereotyping of the Thai woman by farang men is absolutely correct. Now lets see how the Thai woman's family would like it if I tried to extract 50,000 baht from them in the form of a dowry for my family and not offer to pay her family a dowry, they would in fact be insulted by it, so us farans are also insulted by even the thought of having to buy a wife, with a dowry even if it was returned which it is rarely done. Now Thai woman will have to start thing how would they like it if we demanded money off them, they would not like money being extorted off them, so they have to realize they don't like extortion so any attempt to even hint at a dowry is the most appalling insult against a farang man. If a Thai family want to save face from me, don't even mention a dowry or I will lose face and tell me how disgusted I am at insulting me in that manner.

Steve, have you ever thought about writing a cross-cultural book on Thailand? You got good ideas and a wonderful flair for writing. It is humourous but it also brings out the message clearly. Keep up the excellent writing.

@paul_au - you have to draw 100 million baht from your bank account for a dowry if you plan to marry a celebrity like Tata Young, or show it that you have stacked some sorts of that money. The more money you got, the bigger face you have.

It's tradition. What do you expect to blame.

Like Steve said "Taeng-gnarn" or marry literally means "organizing a party". You will lost all friends and respect if visitors to your party don't be very pleased.

for paul_au: You shouldn't be offended by dowry. Thai males also pay dowry, not just farungs. Like it or not, it's a Thai tradition.

If I'm not mistaken, in some areas of India, parents of women pay men dowries. The idea is daughters are liabilities, and the men are doing the girls' parents a favor by taking them off their books after marraiges. Men with higher education, or earning potential get higher dowries.

There are all types of people in the world and Thailand is no different. One must remember that for a 25 year old woman/man to want to marry a 60 year old man/woman there is surely an element of financial security involved. Why complain if the womwn asks for money. Just pay up.

How is Thai dowry different than the brides parents paying for everything in a western marriage? Just a different way of paying for the wedding. I'm a 'newbie' of sorts as I've only been married for 2 years, however I don't think that the cultural diffences et al are that difficult to break through with a bit of communication and some sensitivity...oh and a lot of patience.

In our case I did pay a dowry, however we got to keep the wedding gifts which just about evened things out. The gold was given to my wife and she sold it as soon as we returned to Bkk, actually a small profit on that. Now that we are living in the States she works and contributes fully to the household expenses and savings. We do send money back to Thailand to help her sister pay for her masters degree, however most of that is also contributed by my wife. Obviously not all Thai women are gold diggers and just as in any other culture you'll find that there is a huge range of people, opinions and actions.

Thanks for the great post Steve.

Hmm, I dont really know where to start or what to make of this subject. First off, I'm happily married to a Thai for the last few years and cant think of any real big difference or misunderstandings to make it more difficult. All the Thai women I have met have been a mixed bag, some nice, some not so nice, some rude, some very genuine interesting women. Saying this I have only met women with similar jobs and lifestyles to my own (office workers/university educated etc). The language is an obvious difference and its way with words is sometimes baffling for me! when translated into english quickly. As for the notorious poor country-side women marrying older western guys, well thats a different story really and one that happens with many many other country's women from poor backgrounds. They look odd and without the economics coming into it, it would be a non starter and they know it.

Wow, Paul_AU, your comment about the stereotyping of Thai women by farang men being absolutely correct is just insulting. Perhaps all the farang men you know are the kind of geezer guys that go to tit-bars and decide to smoozy on up with bar girls, and think that that tiny slice of the female population actually represents the whole? Maybe they're also the kind of farangs who litter Pattaya and actually marry a bar girl, then complain bitterly when she fleeces them? Maybe I also should think that all foreign men are like this, like you seem to think all Thai women are a certain way. How's that for stereotyping?

Every time I read articles like this and the comments of people, I end up so baffled. I don't understand how the hell people can just lump all of us Thai women together in a category like that. Christ. I was born in Thailand and so were both of my parents, but my grandparents all came from China. My parents and I are middle-class; I grew up helping out in our family store. My father sent me to university, where I graduated with the highest honors (thank you very much). I worked at multinational corporations, at publishing houses, and in consulting firms. Now I'm living abroad.

You mean to tell me that I'm a freak of an exception to the whole stupid concept of 'All Thai women are or act like bar girls' thing? Every single female person in my social circle has a story like mine. It's a very ghastly, disgusting disservice to every Thai woman to lump us all together and say we're no better than a prostitute at a bar.

Paul, if the AU in your name refers to Australia, I wonder how you would like it if I said that all Australians are thieves and criminals and never-do-gooders, considering the fact that perhaps a slice of the population are descended from crooks that were sent there? Do you see the utter ridiculousness of my comment? Because if you do, you might want to look back and rethink your own ridiculous prejudices.

Oh!! The first photo is my close friend!

Thai women are fascinating, this 'no kissing in public' lark took a bit of getting used to though.
I've never been the type to start swallowing my lady friend in public, its a bit inconsiderate no matter where you are but when you take a look at whats at the side of you, with curves to die for and crisp skin you're dying to give her just a little peck?

However, if I'm in Thailand and a Thai girl's telling me this is the crack, then there's no kissing.
In fact with one girl I was seeing quie recentley it became a bit of an 'in joke' when she would start getting close and we were having a laugh together i would push her away and pretend to be angry and say
'i thought i told you, no kissing in public?!'

It isnt the end of the world fair enough, Im not complaining about this but the public ban does nothing but build up the tension for both of you and once you get behind closed doors youre in for a treat i tell ya, there's fireworks going off and all sorts ha ha

Thanks everyone for your comments, didn't think this blog/article would get such a postive reply.

I like this blog! So true! lol!
I do have misunderstandings with my boyfriend a lot and most based on the cultures. I always wanted to give it up cuz it was always so hard to explain every single thing to him.
However, lucky me, he's quite the open-minded type. That's how we still continue dating.
However, everyday abroad still gives me loads of headaches when people keep asking about my culture, when I explain, some do listen, some just listen with mouth wide open and loads keep attacking me back with loads of questions against my culture - -"
No surprises, however, I do get taken aback with Farang's culture as well, hehe.

Regarding all the fuss over the dowry: in the U.S. we are above such money matters at marriage time (ha). Instead the man merely buys his intended the largest, most expensive diamond ring he can(usually well beyond what his income allows). The bride can legally keep the ring if the man ends the engagement, or in the case of a divorce. Such rings can cost $2,000 to $20,000 American. I think jewelers recommend spending six months salary on the ring. Is this a Thai custom also?
For women who focus on money as a measure of a man's worth, the highly visible ring on her finger is the prize. To her (and like minded friends and family) the ring is a symbol of how much she is desired and how successful her man is or is expected to be.
I didn't think your article supported the negative stereotypes you were explaining. What I heard was "you get as good as you give". If beauty is more important than character to a man, and money more important than character to a woman, they may be surprised to get someone more like themselves (self-centered, shallow). How can such marriages be happy?
Now, this doesn't mean that beauty and character do not exist together. They usually do. What I have observed is that choosing the wrong partner is often a matter focusing on the visible, the outward appearances. Substance comes from spending time with people, especially during times of hard work, difficulty. I can get along with and enjoy almost everyone at a party, movie or on vacation. The same people may drive me crazy if I had them for a roommate or had to share expenses with them during poor times.
I don't think Thai women or western men differ from people anywhere else. There are no cookie cutter people. Only ignorant minds see an entire people as Xerox copies of each other.

You were doing just fine until the end there, Steve. I met a Thai girl at university in the U.S., and after we had dated for a few years she observed one day that I was gaining weight.

A week later she bought me a scale for my birthday, although she softened the blow a little by telling me that in Thai culture such a gift meant to "be careful." No doubt if that phrase had been completed she'd have also said "about what you eat."

I married 4 years ago to a buitiful thia woman. our relationship above my many western relationships from the past tells me i made the right decision,
Like any situation chemistry plays a role in finding the right partner.
And if i were to not be with my wife tommrow my choice would still be the same. Thai woman... purely because the one thing thia woman have over the western woman is there gentle femine natures..and soothing relaxtion and approach to life. Thats what nets it for me!!!
iam not saying they are all like that.
But choice as a a decerning eye. were woman are concerend for some men..
And therefore i hope u find grace and pose in your chosen heart.

Regarding the dowry.It did not cost me anything like mentioned. you pay what you can afford, its arfter all your furture wife and there culture,
EXCEPT IT !
REMEMBER A WESTERN WOMAN DRAGS ALOT MORE FROM YOU THEN HER DOWRY SHARE OVER A LONGER PERIOD OF TIME, AND WILL PROBALLY LEAVE YOU FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND DOWN THE PUB..HA.. jokes aside.. SO THE EXPENSE IS SHORT AND NOTHING WHAT OTHERS SHOULD FEAR AT ALL.
A COMMON SENSE OFFER IS FINE AND WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD IS ALL THAT IS EXPECTED FROM YOU. NOT YOUR LIFE SAVINS OR ANYTHING REMOTELY OUTLANDISH AS ONE WOULD IMAGINE.
REMEMBER YOUR IN CONTROL...
ask yourself! if your love of your Wife be it any nationality and they were on there death bed dying.. Be it your wife daughter or son mum or dad. who ever!! And the doctor said she can live!! But it will cost you finacially would you hesitate!!!!Dont think so.. DO YOU..

So is she important to you thats more the question!!

if not then it is simply not love is it!! Then dont waste your money..

it goes without saying my experence with thia people is like every else you go in the world good and bad.
But my overal experence is i would not change it for the world.

so if you ever think of going for it..
THEN SERIOUSLY CONSIDER REMORGAGING THE HOUSE.. HA .....only joking

i recently married a thai lady and am very happy other than it is hard for us to totally understand each other but we are learning i love the culture and the people hopefully one day will move there.The reason i am writing this is that i have to laugh at so many ignorant farang say gee you should watcjh what you eat in thailand my answer is to them i just sit and eat what the thai people eat lol darn fresh out of cat and rat today gees people should travel and learn about how other people live instead of living in the 1920s

Have encountered good and bad Thai ladies same you would as anywhere else in the world.That said as long as you don`t look for western attitude in a Thai girl,a good one knocks the socks off the rest.

I've been reading the comments here and I finally had to comment. My Thai wife and I have been married almost 38 years and it has been a wonderful experience. I was a poor 2-stripe airman and did not pay a single cent for a dowry. In fact, her brother later loaned us money when we had an unexpected expense. Her family is educated and most of them are lawyers, military officers, pharmacists, etc. In 38 years, they have never once asked for money but have treated me like royalty. I would not trade them for any family in the world and I treasure them.

Steve, you are right about the culture misunderstanding for the mix racial couples. But the stereotype of Thai women...well, I don't think one can say so. Everyone is different, just like women in other countries.

I'm a Chinese Thai woman, born and raised in Thailand. My family is a business family. My siblings and I are all educated abroad. (I went to grad school in UK.) I have to admit that the upper middle class Thai women are not crazy about dating Farang. We are definitely proud of being Thai and do not wish to move out of Thailand.

Over 90% of Thai women married to Farang are from the North Eastern of Thailand. They are generally from the poor family. It is not a surprise to see many issues have been discussed over the internet world. Most of the issues are about scamming Thai wives, gold digger and so on. It is outrageous. I am a Thai woman and find that very irritating and unfair. My thought is "Poor Farang hooked up with poor Thai wife and been screwed." Whose fault is that? Sorry to say that it is enough Thai girls in upcountry to assume that Farangs are rich and can make their life better off. But, it never fly for the well-to-do Thai girls. This idea is changing.

It seems like 20% of infamous Thai women made the rest look bad. I think they should be specific as "E-Sarn Girls" not "Thai Girls". Every time you hear about "Thai women", the first impression is sex object. This thing should be fixed!

i have read all the comments with great interest,i have travelled extensively around the world,but what will stay with me for the rest of my life is my time in thailand.the people ,culture,country and food made a fantastic immpression on me.i felt safer in thailand than i would walking down a city street in my own home.
as for the thai women i will say if you are looking for a bar girl then that is what you will get,but don't generalise all thai women like this in all cultures you get good and bad,but the thai women i met where incredibly gracious and very proud of who they where and where they come from.if you are going to get involved with a thai women ,,do your homework,look into the customs and culture and respect the traditions.I have been involved with a thai women for a year now and there has been nothing but smiles,yes communication is sometimes difficult but patience is the key on both sides,i plan to visit her in october and meet her family and friends and hopefully if things go well marry this women.the only thing i expect is to love and be loved,i definatly will not be expecting her to wait on me hand and foot ,but her to be my equal.

You could have written this about Japan. just change 'Farang' to 'Gaijin'

hi, been reading this lot info but still no answer my thoughts on my little subject.
i noticed a thai lady in a car while on back of friends bike, i smiled she smiled, so i asked her to stop she did and we made date to meet for a meal.
things went very good and as i am a bloke asked her to stay over at first she gave no answer, then after talking to her longer she agreed, and no she never asked for money once !
but i gave her whats classed as spending money .plus fully aware she will keep it all and send it to her family, than spend it.
i stay with her for the next few weeks very happy as she was very attractive and she .
she asked me if i liked her i said very much so, and she said i like you "same same",she asked can i return soon and i told her in 2-3 months, she was very open with me almost like an open book, i was told every thing about place she came from her life, family, not sure why maybe some one can tell me why.
i talk to her every morning before work on webcam, and call her in evening once home , plus theres the text messages we exchange, but its like being together every day and i

2nd part to finish due computer crashing "sorry all".

am being told all the time by her she loves me or maybe thats true or not.
she says she wants a life with me but me i think its to fast, she gives her reasons why and i understand but i am wondering if its me she wants or my cash!!
can someone tell me !!
thai ladys are new to me as been over there few times and yes had good time but never like this, yes i got the feelings for her also but not willing to show it in case i get hurt as came out of bad marriage 2yrs ago of a 5 yr one to a south american woman visa and money is all she wanted ,fool me !!
any way my thai lady says she very jealous lady and no wants me talking to other ladys, i think she very insecure as to way past boyfiends treat her.
she say every day she good girl for me but how can i be sure of this she says you need to trust me darling, i no hurt you i sure,she say maybe you leave me.
any way i no want to bore you guys , but i would be greatful if any one can say if i am to stay or go. do you think milage in this relationship.
or am i just another sucker to a nice smiling lady!!
all replys greatful.
Thanks.

Spot on as usual, Stevo!
Lots of reactions, too.
It clearly shows people are willing to share their experiences and learn from them (I would sincerely hope so).

Having had experiences both good and bad I am definitely still learning (still making the odd mistake or two)and I realize fully well that I have come a long way since my first visit to the Kingdom, now a good 17 years ago.

I have dated a few Thai women over the years. One for nearly 6 years. I also lived in Thailand on and off for 5 years.
The cultures are quite different and often misunderstood by western farang. I am no expert nor do I express to be when it comes to Thai women. This is just my opinion based on my personal experiences. I think some Thai women are some of the most beautiful women I have seen. I have traveled through China, Phillipines, Thailand and other asian countries. However, their culture is intertwined w/ Buddhist religion, family traditions & obligations. In general their thought process and priorities are different than western.
Dating Thais can add a couple of layers of complexity to the relationship. Culture, language, traditions etc. I dont recommend marrying B girls, I think you are asking for trouble. The girls you want are the ones that work in the banks, professional offices and are educated. Still this is no guarantee but what is. Look at the divorce rate in Western society. Its a complicated topic since there is no right answer. Just use common sense and dont let the B girls delights overshadow your clear judgement. If its a good Thai girl you are looking for, you can find it. You probably wont find your marriage partner on your first trip to Thailand. You will want to get to know here family and make sure she is educated.

uk-guy
I am very surprised that you picked up a Thai lady and slept with her on the first night and gave her "pocket money". In my experience (been married to a Thai for eight years & living in Thailand 2 years) its is very unusual for a "decent" Thai lady to do this and would also be insulted to accept money (as would a decent Western girl) Also she sounds a bit dodgy not wanting you talking to other women (shes probably protecting her investments).My advice is to take it very slowly, she may be ok but if you get it wrong its a complete nightmare and if money crops up regularly in conversation be extra careful. There are plenty of nice girls over here without such complications. Best of luck.

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you,

real Love not just the money

I am sorry that Thai women are upset of the stereotypes. I have friends near Chiang Mai and I know the stereotypes here upset them as well. I guess the best farangs can do is try to change these stereotypes here one person at a time. I know I always do when I talk about how woderful Thailand is. I will admit that when I hear "Thai women" I do not exactly think of sex, but it does remind me how beautiful they are, inside and out. At least the ones not corrupted by farangs.

What a great article - its so nice to here someone blow preconceptions out of the water. My Thai partner and I often feel the brunt of these types of prejudices. She is very educated and has done well in life, yet some thai's give her bad look when we are out together if they don't know us. I have also found in the west that when I mention that my beloved is from Thailand I can see them thinking 'oh yeah'. Still I just have to remind myself what a GEM I have found and how lucky I am to be with such a wonderful lady who has inspired me to endeavor to be a good man.

i have been with my thai girlfriend for 12 months now and we plan to arry next year. She comes from a relatively poor family in kap choeng and the subject of a dowry has never been mentioned. I do send money to her regularly to pay for our rented apartment and we have in the past argued when i have mentioned money because she doesn't want me to think that this is all she wants from me.The "bad" thai girls are in my opinion a minority and in my experience england has more gold digging bad girls than thailand has.

I have dated 2 different Thai women over the past 10 years. One came to live in the US when she was young. The other has always lived in Udon. It is very important to learn anothers culture and try to be objective about your own. I met many wonderful people in Thailand. Decent people with high ethical standards. I can truely appreciate the Thai culture, their sense of humor, and thier willingness to show respect for each other, and smiles that can warm you.

yeah..poor thai women, all that stereo typing..where else in the world can you get a chick who will put out the first night for a fiver, and keep going day in day out as long as you got the money?
Every one of those girls has a price on her head, whether they're educated or not. Who are all these dumb western guys kidding themselves these women give a shit about them? i've seen the bitches at work, using their sexuality to control these lovesick fools..
If you've got a pocket fulla bucks, you can get respect, 'honesty' (thai style) and any other shit you want..but if money runs out, watch the cloud of dust as shes running in the other direction!
These women are amazingly clever at spending other peoples money, putting out, having babies and all that shit..all comes with a hefty price tag..just keep those dollars rollin in!!

Excuse me for breathing Jo, but you sound like a sex-starved tourist who has scammed by a few bar girls. Perhaps you ought to stick to commenting on sex-related blogs. As for educated or not, seeems like you've been fooled into believing that some of the bar girls who dress up in a university like uniform really are students. You are a joke!

I was married to a beautiful Thai woman for 13 years...and would still probably be married to her if we'd simply lived together. We just grew apart because we didn't... I worked internationally, she stayed home. Some rememberings: her friend chaperoned us for a month before we were together alone, the dowry was spending money for Dad (booze, brothels, big face with the boys) and a new loom for Mom (big face with the girls), no display of affection in public, but in the house...wow!!,my being fed, cleaned and clothed daily was a MUST, she worked day and night for me AND her family. There are Esan girl marriages that are decades old and riproy girl marriages decades old... and a lot of failures for both. Someone said something about "chemistry"...that and honesty, I think, will do it.

sir,
first i wanna say sorry if this mail is not completely clear but i hope that everybody will understand that english is not my mother tongue that's why i can make a lot of mystake.At less i hope that everybody will understand the main meaning of this comment.I would like to say that i really not agree with your report about misunderstanding thai women at all.A lot of your arguments.Some are also some myths.For sure,all the girls are not the same but there are some main point between all the girls in Asia from China to djakarta about what they are expecting from life and if you compare with the asian girls who live in europ you will find the same point of view.Even in the high society in thailand you will find some girls who want to find an husband with a good situation and who will be able to support all the family.Those girls will work but it will be more like a hobby than to help the family.Also, all the western guys who are going in the village in thailand don't show their money and if european boys believe some myths about thai girls you can believe that thai people also believe some myths about european.If many thai girls are not looking for european boy where does come the succesfull of some website like thailove link ??? there are many reasons why thai girls are interesting in occidental boy, some is for money, some wanna come to work in europe (they don't mind about the taste of black bread because anyway most of them will only eat thai food)because they know that they will have more money when they will work, some will marry and will continue to have some "kik" in europe and one very important reason comes from the bad ways many thai boys do with their girls.If you tazke the time to talk with some girls who have got 1 thai boyfriend they will explain to you that they were completely unhappy and when they stop they never want to have 1 again.that's why now you start to see some thai girls who are still single and live with their family even they are 30 years old or more.There are many reasons to say to you that your comment is really uncomplete and you seem to complain european boy and defend thai girls, for sure it's not the fault of only 1 part but you forget to explain many things about thai culture specially the special way they have with money.

Reply for the comment of thai girl If the girl from bar who are dressing student uniform are not real student you should go out more in your country and you will see that many girl who are student have a special way to find someone to support them, some are also prostitue and some go with old thai boy who is already marry but wanna find excitment with young girl and in exchange he will support her during all her study (you also now that in thai there is a word to call these old man who support thai student) .

Friends from high society or at least upper middle class and above have cautioned me about the multitude of opportunists out there. It is common to see Thai's have social circles with comparable level society people. Even a thai chinese friend(female) warned me about this. Due to the socioeconomic structure of society there are many university educated girls that live from paycheck to paycheck in one room "mansions". Many would like to gain a better financial future and look for guys that can be walking talking ATM's.
My feeling is to date those that have at least comparable socio-economic status and education. The reason I live in thailand is not about dating so perhaps my thoughts are not clouded by, or focused on social life.

phillipe,

yes there are many girls that have a man "take care". There are also Thai guys that romance Thai women with money, they are called "mangdas' and their main motivation is financial.
My comments due not apply to 100% of society but again, due to the socioeconomic situation, there seems to be quite a bit.
In Japan, an office lady can earn more than 1 million baht per year and typically can take holidays in other countries including G8. Many Thai equivalent workers cannot.

This is an excellent article with many varying opinions commented.
I am married to a wonderful Thai woman from the north east area of Thailand. We have been married for 32 years and I am looking forward to many more.
Her family treats me better than my own family in America and are very proud of my being a part of their family.
They are hard working people, most of the younger family members are extremly well educated because of the hard work of the elder generation that paid for their education.
I have several neices that are well educated and beautiful young ladies. I am proud of each one because they have a high moral standard and are making their own way by working at well paying jobs.
Most Thai women are beautiful, friendly and proud of their heritage. There are some who are after the gold as with any culture but this is not the norm in Thailand any more than any other culture.
Thanks for the thought provoking article which has clearly brought out all the diverse opinions about how Thai women are perceived. Hopefully the ones who have had bad experiences can learn from those of us who know the real women of Thailand.

I just got back from a wedding in Thailand. My friend has met one of the most wonderful woman I have ever known. He gave a dowry, which was promptly returned after the wedding as it seems tradition and face are important to the Thais. He married into a family who farms rice. The family has very evolved grace and ethics, quite impressive but not surprising after spending time with them. My friend has learned to speak the language, which puts him in a whole different light to the Thais. The wedding was wonderful and I personally felt welcomed and honored as a guest in a tiny village that usually does not see farangs. My view on Thai women, if you want to meet one, is to learn and honor the customs, try and learn some language, treat them with respect, be careful of your expectations and don't worry about the money part as all people, no matter what culture, have issues around money. After all, Women are women no matter what they look like.
If I ever want to marry, I will go to that part of the world and hang out.

what the hell does 'farang' means

finally someone who has a open mind , recently i met my girlfriend and yes from the North east but suprisingly when i visit her and was introduced to her family i was invited to saty at their house and they did not eat and drink or smoke on my account. They don't even wanted me to pay for anything as i was a geust invited into their world , and they did everything possible to make me feel at home. and in fact i did feel at home even after one day . of course i need to meet aunties , uncles , friends and so on but non of them ever took advantages out of the fact that in comparisation to their living standards i was a rich farang and should pay everything . it was the most heart warming experience i ever experienced although i live in asia for eleven years it seem that i have found a new family of which i'm proud to know them. So no pitty for Farangs who are big pretenders or self called saviors for the poor thai. These thai are emotinal and material richer as many farangs because they understand the value of that what they have in stet of that what we wish to have .

I'm just wondering if you can help me with my research about Thai Women, your culture,society and government.I'm a Political Science Student from Philippines

There is no perfect women anywhere on this world but sit down and think first before you come to the conclusion that Thai women are great.
Western girls are nicer people than Thai girls. You do not know what Thai
girls are thinking. They think they are
smarter than Europeans..... smarter
maybe, intellegent nooooooooooooo. So
western women may be a pain sometimes but they have good sides also, just wish more European women would keep in shape. I have realised that Thai ladies have charms, good figures etc but they are still monkeys in my eyes. No thai person has ever provided anything to the Earth of
any significance. So all educated Europeans reading this you have to decide whether you want to tarnish your gene pool with one of these Thai women...... think about it.

I married one Thai woman who just wanted to get to the USA and did. She then dumped me.

Being a real msochist, I cam back and tried again. The next one I did it all; negotiated the bride price, had it all in cash and gold and then she decided if I could achieve that in just 3 years, she had to raise the price.

She was 40 already, for heaven's sake. Did she expect prince charming to come charing in on a white steed? Anyway, I can say from my own person experience with over 8 years of Thai residence that Thai women only want the money. They cannot love anything but cash, gold, and land. I guess the good news is they will do whatever it takes to get those things, but the day you cannot provide more material posessions is the day you get dumped. These women cannot love men, only the wallets of men.

I met a Chinese-Thai woman a few years ago. She was collage educated and showed me all around Thailand with great pride. Her family was very nice, upper middle class. I stayed at her mothers home for a few days too and they owned their own business. I spent a month with this lady and we discussed marriage, children and an internet business in Udon Thani. Upon returning i sent her the money needed to start an internet business called "Uppernet cafe" in Udon. Well...I never saw a penny from the business. She did a fine job taking care of her friends and family at my expense! She chatted with me all the time using web cams, however after awhile she demanded more money for the business and I had to cut my losses and move on! So,my experience with Thai woman is that they only want a "Rich Farang" to improve their status in life.

Two years later I went to see if the business was still in operation and it was,barely! My Ex GF wasn't there, but her cousin gave me a Thai " White lie" to save face. She informed me that My Ex GF had gone back to live in Chang Mai and took all of the computers while the cousin was at a family funeral! Not true, I had pictures of the cafe's Grand opening and the Computers had not changed. So...the moral of the story is, I fool and his money soon part ways!

Now I don't trust Thai woman if they show any interest in my money, I tell them I'm just an average guy trying to make ends meet and that I'm a super cheap guy! However,that's not really the case.

I want a woman to love me for me, not for my bank account! I'm 40 YO, fit and attractive and have a great job and plenty of money, but finding true love is not easy with money hungry women!

I have met another Thai woman too and have known her for almost 3 years now, but I'm gun shy! She has tried to have me build her parents a new house in KK and gives subtle signals for money on occasion. I tell her I don't have the money and she says she understands, yet she never gives up. She wants to come to the USA really bad but I'm not going to marry her,that's for sure. Plus..when I'm In Thailand, every time I turn around I see another woman who is more beautiful then my lady friend. It drives me crazy! I want my cake and I want to eat it too! I love the land of smiles, culture, women and food. I just don't like the laws on property ownership for Farangs and the bad experience I have had with Gold diggers! I'm still thinking there has got to be a good educated,beautiful Thai woman out there somewhere for me! ;)

*** such catastrophic break-ups is ‘cultural misunderstanding’ and generalized myths circulated by some of the ever-knowledgeable Farangs themselves ***

I've been married to a thai girl for almost 8 years now.. Can't really say I've ever had much of a problem. Plus, she's a fantastic cook.

I agree entirely with your article, great to see someone standing in the thai ladies corner.

comment to kevoz::whats your problem aganist Thai people, have they offended you or been chosen over you for somthing or what? will the racist gabage seeping out your mouth ever stop, you have proberly never even met a Thai person and you say not wanting them in your gene pool, well my kids will have Thai genes in them for im honoured to have it that way and i feel sorry for the people that get your nazi loving genes, grow up its not 1943, and one last thing you say they have nice figures and charms, you cant be smart and not intelligent and nothing they have done is significance, what about bring joy, love, happiness, kindness to millions around the world is that all nothing to you, its more then people like you will ever do

Hey, I don't misunderstand Thai
women. I am Losol person and perfer
bar girls. Don't want a good thai girl.
They are possesive and controlling just
like western women. Don't want any
Hisol bitches from Bangkok either.
Give me a sexy Pattaya girl any time.
Find them, F**k them, forget them.

Well said Bundyman.
And to you Kevoz,do you know what its like to survive.Ask a bar girl,She is the A.T.M.for her family, without her they could starve.
Her education was of a different school, no one would willingly attend.
If anything its the Thai gene pool and culture i worry about.Thankfully there are some decent farang who marry Thai women, and find themselves blessed.

Actuallt, the word "taeng-ngarn" which means marry is not make party. The sense of this word means establishing work.
Anyway, great work.

It isnt too difficult to realize this stuff after living and dating women here for about a year (I've been here for about 5 so far).

The only thing I have qualms with Thai women, is that many (many, not all, of course) put you, as a person, 'second-hand' to Thai society's expectations.

You play a 'functional' role in helping her to achieve something, be it face, a cure to loneliness, etc, etc. You are useful. Some might think, 'well, what's wrong with being useful?' Nothing wrong, unless the thought of someone strictly using you for an end, versus enjoying you as a 'person'/making a true love or spiritual bond, leaves you a bit disenchanted.

Of course there are good and bad Thai women and many on the make.But use your head. If you are a lot older than her as is often the case do you really imagine that she loves you for yourself?Have fun with bar girls if you want but if you are looking to marry then dont rush into it dont marry a girl a lot younger dont pay out a fortune up front and find a girl with a good education who speaks your language well.Every predatory woman gives herself away sooner or later if she speaks your language.If she comes with a chaperone and dislikes kissing in public those are good signs not bad ones.

Don't ever forget one thing , Thai women always remain Thai , and if u live here anyone should know what this means !!!!!!

Hi,

Hey,actually I've just send my comment but it was disappeared, I don't know why? I came across your unfair rude artical and can't stand finishing reading it. To be honest I don't even want to call your name and don't really like to know who you're.How dare you dreadfully look down Thai women! I wonder who do you think you're. If you don't really like us,you( the Falang) can stay away from them. It's not your business to insult Thai women like that and if the women in your country are perfect, it's your business as well.Seeing from the photo,I don't think your soul is balanced with your appearance, it's a pity indeed.Having known that you're residing at Suphanburi,if you think that you're from the star, I advise you to go back to your place. I think you're not balanced with our beloved land.Listen!"All human beings are equal in dignity and right"

Dear 'A Thai woman'

Your comment shows just poor your English is. You obviously didn't understand any of the meaning in this blog, which was actually a editorial column at The Nation newspaper.

Where in this blog does the author 'dreadfully look down on Thai women'? Rude and insulting?

As a matter of fact, the meaning of this article is opposite to what you and your poor English standards have believed. This article is positive for Thai women, didn't you 'get it' after the other 60 comments have said the same thing?

It's advised that you improve your English reading skills before shouting your head off for no reason at all.

We poor Farang
We go to the sleaziest places in thailand and fall in love with a bar girl (Which would never happen at home) but actually if your truthful you will admit that the girls only are going out with you because there,s hope in maybe finding a nice guy or one with plenty of money.
If you were to try this at home you would be looked upon as cradle snatchers or weird.
Put yourselves in the position of the bar girl,Would you solicit yourself to feed your Family,Would you put up with broken promises night in Night out.
Would you get hardened toward farangs if you loved them and then they treated you like S#%t,.
Then you complain that you have been ripped off by a bar girl,when in fact they have been ripped off by all the non genuine Farangs that come to thailand break the girls hearts which Hardened their outlook on Farang men which in the Bar girl trade was taught before they start preschool and the poor Genuine fa rang who has respect for all women no matter what they are or do ,are the innocent victims of fed up Bar girls
I hate farangs attitudes when it comes to Bar Girls.Most of the farang who complain are the ones that cant respect themselves let alone a poor thai bar girl.
I think it,s time that we gave these Girls the respect they deserve.
You can go back to your cosy little lives now.
Pished off farang.

We ought to ask ourselves what people did in the past when they got married. Maybe the Second World War seems like a long time ago but materialism has changed people (not just Thais but everywhere). If I remember correctly, people never asked for so much in the past, say in the 1980s. Although every country has its traditions it seems like things have been blown way out of proportion.

I don't have much experience and am amazed to find myself participating in this discussion but it just so happens that I recently had a totally baffling experience dating a Thai woman.

I met her on an internet dating site. She is/was supposedly staying here on visa for the last 18 months or so. I responded to her ad because she was pretty and seemed very nice and tasteful. However her response was so fast and almost reflexive, emailing me that she really wanted to meet me. I was also a little cocnerned because I have never seen someone have som many public photos of themselves and she obviously was very accomplished in posing for photos. Another thing that I thought was unusual was that she was apparently alienated from her parents and siblings, having a good relationship only with an aunt andf a grandmother. I guess I believe that while not a guarantee, having a supportive family is always a plus.

On the plus side another thing I liked about her was that she had an engineering degree and liked math and physics. I am a physician but I have a oassion for math and physcis as well so I thought this was a good combination.

Trying to stay positive I got the email correpondence going again. I was doing a lot of international traveling at the time (late last year) and we were supposed to go out just before I departed on a trip overseas. I don't recall what happened but it didn't end up happening and I remember thinking that she really didn't seem sincerely interested after all based on her emails. She also told me that her last relationship was 18 months ago to an imprter-exporter but that he cheated on her.

At the recommendation of a friend I didn't give up and tried again after I returned. This time we did go out. She was very accomodating and came to my neighborhood. We had a lovely dinner. She was extremely attentive, considerate and polite, pouring my coke etc. She told me how she had wanted to eb a dcotor to help people but that medical education in Thailand is very expensive and couldn't afford it. She also told me she wanted to start and import/export business.

To my amazement, when I told her of volunteer work I do delivering meals to home-bound elderly on weekends she immediately said she wanted to go with me and changed her weekend plans to do so.

I then took her for desert at one of the finest establishments in New York City and bought her fine chocolates as well. As it got late I offered to get a car or taxi to take her home but she declined and took the subway instead. She asked me to call her. I asked her to call me or email me when she got home so I would know she got home safe and sound.

She did show up to go with me on my volunteer work. An elderly couple I do this with thought she was fantastic and I was starting to feel this was very promising. But I still had my doubts. While she had an answer for every questions there was something not quite forthcoming about her-a certain evasiveness. She was very good with the elderly people that I visit and I thought this was a very good sign. She came back the followign weekend with her best friend

Taking friendly advice that any concerns was just negative thinking we continued to go out. She would email or text me in the mornings, often saying how much she missed me. This made me feel very good. One night she tried calling me repeatedly because without an warning she showed up with friends visiting from Thailand and took them to a restaurant near my apartment but I wasn't prepared to go out because this was so unexpected.

But despite continuing evasiveness things overall seemed good. We had very explicit discussions about the about the ature of the relationship in which I asked if we were at a point that we should condifer ourselves boyfriend-girlfriend and she not see anyone else and she said yes. To make sure there was no misunderstanding I said that if her best friend, who is in US on student visa, wanted to introduce her to a guy she would say no-and she said that was right. And I said if someone wants to fix me up with a woman I should not do so-and she said "you better not". She also said other things like we were a good match, that I was very great, etc etc.

I asked her about her papers, sicne I didn't want to get too seriously involved if she wasn't staying long term. She was vey evasive about how long she was heard but said she didn't want me to worry about since if she had to she would stay here illegally

Still I had a vibe that there was something hollow/false about her. Her email commubnications could alternate between very expressive and warm to very distant and uninvolved. I even asked her once if something had changed and she said no everything was fine, everything was the same. After I took her out on very nice data as a belated birthday celebration to a great show, getting the best front row seats etc, things still seemed to be going OK, and she even said she would go with me to a family Thanskgiving celebration, but all of a sudden she claimed to be having problems and was too busy and couldn't see me any more. She just basically stopped responding and she essentially just disappeared. Her excuses didn't seem totally consistent with each other and when I texted her that "dishonesty and lies is bad Karma for her" she replied "I know".

I tried to think of why things went wrong despite the fact that all observers said it looked like things were going great. I am quite successful but I live a rather modest life with my most cherished material aquisitions being my books and photography equipment. Was she checking me out to see how wealthy my lifestyle was? Or to see if I was someone that could provide resources if she had to stay illegally and she concluded that I wasn't wealthy enough? Was it my apartment (eg my window sills really need repainting, it is amazing how quickly they get dirty in NYC!? Was she just looking for someone to take her out while she had some time after losing one of her three babysitting jobs? Did I do or say somethign wrong? Was I not aggressive enough or too aggressive? I tried to be very respectful and am not the pawing type. I was quit conservative physcially, though not a prude, with public displays of affection (or so I thought) being limited to kisses hello and good bye, handholding, and shoulder massaging etc (except for one instance when she took my hand and sat on it). I know that she complained once that I didn't call her enough, and her nest froend even asked her about that. I was honest and i said I don't like to call her because she was always busy taking care of baby and there was never much to say and it was kind of awkward and she seemed to understand adnit wasn't a problem. I know one time she complained because I kept a previously scheduled date at the symphony with my mother, instead of seeing her, but I thought she would understand as I was led to believe taking care of and honoring your parents was considered a good thing, and it was only that one time. When she used my bathroom did she see something in my medicine cabinet she didn't like?

I am sure I have left out a lot of in summary, she seemd very nice, very attentive, intelligent. She seemed to have answers to everything but she also seemed evasive and erratic on multiple occassions. As I look back I have to say she was actually quite boring in some ways, and never seemed to have anything deep to say about anything. She didn't even have an interest in going back to a museum that she had been to once already, either not caring about art or not realizing that museum exhibits change over time. What does it say about me that I liked her when she had so little to say?

I can't help but feel given the explicit expressions of the nature of our relationship that she was dishonest. Does this have anything to do with her being Thai? I have no idea but I do think I was conned a bit and there could be cultural differences that would/could amplify the consequences of going out with someone who was also dishonest by individual nature.

Before I would ever go out on a similar situation I would have to see their papers and speak to their employers. Not very romantic but I think a good idea. Interestingly she told me one of her bosses was very sick and said that she would probably die soon and wanted her to take care of her baby after she dies. Supposedly her boss had some questions about her medical condition that she wanted to ask me. I was happy to help, and also thought that it would be agood way to maybe get a feel for the reliability of my alleged girlfriend. When I tried to pursue that, she said it was all aj oke and that her boss didn't want to speak with me.

Live and learn

Thanks

to James Joo
you totally misunderstood 'a Thai woman,! her comment was not against main article, but someone's else post
look at the blog carefully and you will find that full of hate moron
I am not surprised she was so pissed off, you James wouldn't like to be insulted as she could feel to be

HI I UNDERSTAND THE GUY SAYING HE WOULD NEVER DATE A WESTERN WOMEN AGAIN, SMART MAN IM AMERICAN 48 AND I HAVE NOT DATED AMERICAN SLUT SINCE I WAS 19, IVE HAD A FEW RUSSIAN WIFES BUT I LEARN LONG AGO TO STAY CLEAR OF THE AMERICAN TRASH, LIVING IN FINLAND NOW WE LOVE THE THAI WOMEN AND WE LIKE ALL EASTERN EUROPE WOMEN BUT AMERICANS YOUR ASKING TO BE USED ALL FREE LOADERS, CHEATING GROUP OF WOMEN, TERRY FROM FINLAND.

Don't know whether this is the forum to use or if I have to start a new thread. Question: What is a non-paper wedding? (If that is the correct term.) Is it just a marriage of convenience? A friend tells me it is not really official and either party can pull out without divorce. If this is the case, who benefits and how? Still trying to get my head around the Thai way.

I have going to Thailand, 6 months a year, for over 6 years now. I am an ex-professional athlete, so people wanting money is an issue everywhere. I have traveled around 3/4 of the world, and the Thai people are some of the nicest, most polite people I ever met.I was never treated better in Europe, South America, Central America, or North America. No other country in Asia is even close, I have been to most of them. The idiot who is offended by dowry money should stay home, and forget marrying a beautiful woman he could not even get to talk to him at home.. It was a tradition in Europe once, and even in the USA not too many generations ago, especialy among the wealthier families. So if you can not understand taking care of the parents of a woman you love, you probably are not capable of loving anyone besides yourself anyway. Thai woman certainly do not need you. There are many problems in cross-cultural relationship. If you marry a Thai woman who loves you, you must realize they will always love you more then themselves, but they will love their parents and family more then you. The girls are raised to care for their families, so you must also accept this way of life if you want to marry a beautiful Thai woman.Let us be honest, is 50,000 baht or even 500,000 baht more important then the love of a good woman. You want to marry a nice Thai woman, take the time, like the Thai do in their relationships, to know her better. If you know her, and any amount of money is too much, do not marry her. It is very simple. If you feel she is worth everything you have, then marry her, and be glad what little it cost you, to make her family happy. Yes if they rush for you to marry her, maybe you are marrying into the wrong family. If you are marrying a bar girl, then maybe you are just paying in advance for so many nights. But if you marry a nice Thai woman, and I know many, take the time to know her and her culture, she will do the same for you, and you will find the happiness you search for.

Most farangs, i.e. whiteboys, still think of and expect Thai girls to be docile, submissive, sex-slaves because these boys are Asiaphiles.

i just got visa for my thai wife and yes we have minor missunderstandings but has any man understood a ferang woman ? as for bar girls dont judge them all the same some are genuine and honest as are mainstreem thais i wait for my wife she needs about a month to pack up her home and see family then we start our life together i have got a lot of understanding from this site THANKYOU and public affection aside when she dose tell me she loves me it means somthing not like western women who say it easily especialy when they want somthing also my wife has a way of showing me when im in the wrong that is wonderfuly calm i love thailand and my wife very much and trust her with my heart and for the sceptics my wallet

A LOT of this is true about Thai girls, but sometimes it depends on the area of Thailand you decide to vacate at. Im Thai, but I was born in Granada Hills, California and whenever I go back to Thailand to visit family, there are some guys who actually jump into the same myths. Thai people are all about respect whether its for the elderly, the parents, or even for your brother and sister, no matter how much you hate them. Although a LOT of this article is true, Thai girls/guys are still very much human and can still become cynical just like any other person. I LOVE keeping my skin light because in Thailand, if your skin is dark that means you work too hard, more like a farmers daughter, working outside with the chickens and the cows to make ends meet. The sun also keeps your skin dry and crusty and girls there keep it moisturized, clean, and light because it appeals to a lot of men as innocent and sweet. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong, but please feel free to let me know if it is.

I have been to Thailand 5 times and each time endeared me more to the gracious Thai people.
I wish I were younger.

Your article is excellent.... but I think you're just a lucky guy who met a thai women which is not like all the other greedy thai bitches.

I agree with Nam Wan. I too have a thai lady 46 years old, who I will marry at some point. Yes you guessed, I am nearing retirement age.

I cannot bum around in any clothes, even casual needs to be looking 'handsome', otherwise I get no respect.

I consider myself very lucky, I have met her friends and family and this one is as genuine as you can get.

Moreover, whilst she is traditional thai, her outlook is more worldly - she will complain about no good thais etc.

Now for the shock. I do not support her, except when I am visiting and staying at her condo, and she takes time off work. 10,000 baht, around £200 for loss of earnings plus supermarket shopping about covers it.

I have had my share of bar girls, so I am not an angel or naive - but who knows, is she in for the long term or not?

what a boring read

I have been married to a Thai man for 16 years. His mother and all her old biddy Thai friends are the most mentally immature women I have ever met. They married farang men just to ride on their coattails here to the promised land. Once they get here in the US, they care nothing about learning th culture of their new land. They just band together with their Thai friends, sit on the floor, eat disgusting foods, and yap away in Thai. They cannot read a street sign, can't help their children with their homework, and run down farangs. I have heard it for 16 years. My mother-in-law has tired repeatedly to break up our marriage so that she can try to get a young Thai bride for her son, so that she can be the "BOSS" in thier home as well as her own. They are troublemaking, and even my own husband agrees. I have been physically accosted by her dumb friends. If they are a representation of Thai culture, they can all pack up their bags, and head on back to Thailand.

Thai women are bossy, and think that they should be able to run the lives of their grown children forever. They as a whole are not "Christians." They lie and have no coping skills with personnel issues in their life. They scream and yell and lose their temper. They are devious and conniving. Frankly, I would like to beat the carp out of a couple of them, since they are forever trying to cause trouble with others. They grew up in a jungle with houses raised on stilts back in the 1960's. They are like living in a time warp. I wish they would all pack up and go back to their "wonderful" country. Bye-bye Thailand troublemakers!!!

Lighten up people, I married a Thai girl
we have a smart and beautiful son...not to worry...
Don't think mak mak. Took sing took yang
Ja dee Khun. Go south or north and find a good girl. Stay away from BKK girls!!
CDR MM

Alexa,as a Dx i believe you should get a handle on you anger issues!! You have never been to Thailand!! Lighten up...
"Jane you ignorant Slut!!hehe"
MM

Spot on article.
I have been married to my Thai wife for 16 years now. She did not want to come to the US at first, but then we decided to come over and now have two wonderful children and go back to visit Thailand every two years.
I met her in Bangkok, but she is originally from Lopburi. I had already lived in Thailand for 2 years at the time we met, so we spoke Thai together which helped tremendously.
It took a looooong time to meet her family, but they were very accepting of me once they knew I was serious.
Just be a decent person and find a good woman and you will be fine.
If, however, you just hang out with 'bargirls' then you will get the trouble you deserve both short and long term.

just a few things some carry on about ,to live with a thai women min [ a teacher ]im cooking so her sisters come for dinner they eat austran--aussie meals as i cook the meals i know pluse experiment with many dishes and thai women ???they love it pluse my baking of cake and aplestrudels from austria. going out we go to see the country plus nighbores going fo visa we live to gether for 4 years aussie way our culture compines very easy ,mother would like her to merry a thai but none of them dit having dark skin is my fevorite women.so why so many storis about thai women ? there 2 bargirl who need to work and profesional women but there no diffrent wen it come to mane and women meetingunderstand you in there country then you understand your women some have strong desire for there culture bat they will go halve wen love comes .ok i think it clear some of wrong ideas of thai women for some have a nice day alfie

I spent a year in Thailand (Bangkok and SE) back in the early 70's, working in Thai/American relations and meeting many people in all rungs of society.
As a whole, I can say that they were many of the nicest people I have ever met. Yes, the women were beautiful and wonderful, and that was one of the best years of my life.
If not for personal obligations, I would probably have remained there for at least another year.
Many Americans that I knew there at the time were doing 5 years before being forced back home.

hi with all the talk about thai women you forget some fact's,i live with a 47 year old teacher,im76y now as you don't understand most of what they talk on the phone,you watch the body languech ,see the differend talk to women or man.ok now you sure she talking to a man ,she will argue to dead she is not.so i tell you thai women biger liers then western women.

Wow! Sometime We are forgotten that we are the living things in the world. There is good and bad,black and white ,sun rise and down. if we look closely to ourself ,the most of people(not all) never blame themself they just point finger to the other,but don't forget when you are pointing one finger to the other three fingers will pointed back to you.
I am a Thai women who like to respect people who respect me also. I never ever look down at people in side my contry and outside of my country(foreigner)

First of all, thank you for the interesting article. I am a Thai student who study in the western country as a chemical engineer technologist. I understand how people thinking about Thai women in their first impression. I remembered in my first day of class, my classmates kept asking me alot about "Pattaya" and I don't feel good about all those questions at all. I was wondering why they never ask me anywhere else in Thailand such as "Chaing Mai" and what was their thinking about Thailand. However, I am happy that they all understand Thai people after a year of studying with them. They have better viewpoint about Thai women. I guess it is a matter of time for people to discover what Thai women really are.
Also, my friend that sits beside me now,he has a strong agreetment with me.

they have the wool pulled over all your eyes.

i dont think that you know much about thailand.
i have many thai friends who live poor and rich . from phuket to pattaya to bangkok and the "myths" are true. like people would just make this stuff up.
he says the normal ones dont like clubs . yea right i met all my thai friends almost at clubs in sydney. they have lots of money and do mroe drugs than anybody i have ever seen. and its not isolated . its pretty generalized. they all loved thier xtc and "yaba" slang for meth in thai. and these were wealthy ones.
and no they do not like white guys. the rich ones have no need for white people if they have money , and the circles they travel have rich nice thai men so they have no reason not to screw old men for money. and yes all the thai chiks i know date thai men except one. and she was a meth whore.
pay dowry , you mad man . like iam going to give anyone anything.iam already going to give them a great life. like iam going to let the family get me for any more than i have too. they are leeches . serious. this guy is an idiot. dont listen to him.
and of course what's mine is yours and what not works for them cause they have nothing . so its great . and they know it.
i knew this chick , 19 beautiful she was going to go live with this 43 year old man who was fat. we were friends so i was like why would you not find a nice young man/. she simply said he is going to pay for everything . why i not go . she said it does not matter what him look like or how old he was . the closer to dead the better she said . more for her. iam not lying or joking and i was just there a month ago for 3 . i have been there numerous times. and they are good at what they do. they trick you. a good way to prove that they dont like you is simply by saying i have no money , watch how fast they run . the first time you are like your family is going to have to go without a while . they throw a fit and leave . they love the wallet .
my advise is to go with the rich ones if you can land one. if not tell the poor ones to smoke a hotdog .
be vigilant out there guys , i dont want you to be had.
and white chiks are as nice as these if you treat them the same. meaning open wallet and always say yes ...

I'm puzzled by your comments, Buzz. Almost all your friends, rich and poor, you met at bars in Sydney? Where did the poor ones get the money to holiday in Sydney? Why would the rich Thai guys go to Sydney, especially with girlfriends in tow? They have Bangkok, Pattaya, and Phuket to choose from, but opt for Sydney? Bizarre. Why did rich, female, farang hating Thais, befriend you? Are all nice rich Thai men heavy drug users? Have you tried rehab, Buzz? No dowry could be large enough to compensate for the "great life" you would give any woman. You're an imbecile, Buzz. Is Terry "I've had a few Russian wives and love Thai women, and hate every other female on the planet" Reed, your twin brother?

I'm puzzled by your comments, Buzz. Almost all your friends, rich and poor, you met at bars in Sydney? Where did the poor ones get the money to holiday in Sydney? Why would the rich Thai guys go to Sydney, especially with girlfriends in tow? They have Bangkok, Pattaya, and Phuket to choose from, but opt for Sydney? Bizarre. Why did rich, female, farang hating Thais, befriend you? Are all nice rich Thai men heavy drug users? Have you tried rehab, Buzz? No dowry could be large enough to compensate for the "great life" you would give any woman. You're an imbecile, Buzz. Is Terry "I've had a few Russian wives and love Thai women, and hate every other female on the planet" Reed, your twin brother?

Only bigots would ever put a whole race or nation down, because of the "sour grapes" they harbor in their own hearts.If you have a bad relation with a thai girl, what makes you think its the girls fault? Way too many loving couples in long relationships for me to demean marriage to a thai woman.With prostitution and divorce rates being high in the US is it shocking that Thailand has prostitution and divorce might be high, especially with foreigners who don't want to meld into a marriage ,but want the marriage to be exactly to what they are accustomed to, never considering his wife.I HAVE ONE FINAL COMMENT, THAIS ARE HUMAN, IF YOU CAN'T ACCEPT THAT, YOU ARE A TROLL.

Couldn't agree more with anything I have read and written myself. Very well put Stephen

Why Thai Woman marries Westeners?
(Information collected from a poll).
Traditionally, Thai women are supposed to remain celibate until they marry. Therefore, widows and divorcees are not considered ideal wives for Thai men and Thai women often remain single after divorce. This is different in western culture, where a woman's prior marital or sexual history is not considered so important.
Therefore the western men have opened up new possibilities for divorced Thai women. Their western husbands make them feel that they can be respectable, whereas before, after divorcing their Thai husbands they had a feeling of being 'used'.
Many of the transmigrated women agree that they had never realised that they have the rights over their bodies and could make decisions in their marriages before they met their western husbands. Some village women explained that the realisation was 'like a miracle'.
The women frankly confess that financial security was a major factor in their decision to marry, but many gave other reasons for preferring western men. In a newspaper interview, one woman married to a farang complained of the 'bad habits' of Thai men. Some women interviewed agreed, citing some of those bad habits as addiction to gambling and alcoholic drinking and having no responsibility for their families. Some said they and their children used to experience domestic violence from their husbands.

not too mention westerners are know to be more hung and of more wealth than the common dishwasher type male alcoholic Thai men

sad to know theirs so many lazy dunker Thai men

Stereotype. Not all Thai women are the same.Deal with it.

One thing that bothers me though is that the onus to resolve "cultural misunderstandings" often lies with the Farang. It is an equal responsibility of both people in the relationship to resolve to understand eachother's backgrounds. It is not only the guy's fault if he misinterpreted an action of the girl's, she should be more forgiving and willing to help him learn. In fact, if anything the responsibility should be biased in favour of the girl having to make a stronger effort to help the guy understand, since western culture is generally more pervasive around the world than Thai culture. There is more chance the Farang doesn't understand the Thai, than the Thai doesn't understand the Farang.

Let's be clear about 1 thing ! Dowry is NOT for the Thai girls parents !! The dowry is the Thai girls "nest" in case she get divorced.

And the dowry or "Sin Sod" ( in Thai ) is by the way a chinese tradition and not Thai ! Thai picked this up i and has now take this "tradition " to a scam when it involves farang/Thai marriage.

You don't pay Sin Sod for a Thai girl that has been married before or have kids. She is by Thai standards spoiled that is why no Thai man would pay Sin Sod in such a case.

Lovely post really...yes it is easy sometimes to misunderstand Thai women for Western people. Some of our culture and character is unique to Thailand. But just a little understanding and information can help a great deal and yes it should be from both sides as well, I agree with that. It is all part of our learning to live in harmony and Peace together.