I've been having the writer's block for a few weeks now. So many things to blog about, no idea where to start.... so now I've decided to plunge in, still no idea where this blog is going to end up.... but hey, that's exciting! This November was exactly about that: plunging in, having no idea where I would end up.
So, here I am, having moved countries with merely a backpacker's backpack and a laptop. Let alone countries.... continents. Seasons. Cultures. Personalities. It's like a reincarnation within the same life, having the chance to take my diploma, my financial background and my experience. Nothing more I could ever ask for.... or...? We'll see.
I flew in four weeks ago. Spent a few days with a friend in Bangkok learning to laugh and go places again. Visited Richard's school for a couple of hours. Went off to Ko Chang to chill out for a few days, and got a marriage proposal there out of the blue :-) (and the usual sunburn). Then packed up and came to Chiang Mai two days before Loy Krathong. Within three days I landed my dream job in a kindergarten, I'm gradually learning to deal with the unusual things (and the low salary), and getting the feel of what is expected of me at this extremely laid-back place. I bumped into my ex in the street and we are still on speaking (and dining together) terms. I met SiamJai and I enjoyed his company a lot (wish I could see more of him!) Loy Krathong was magnificent, I felt like I can continue my life exactly where it got cut off two years ago, when I left on the third night of the celebrations. Sometimes it feels sooo perfect I start worrying I'll have to wake up. Sure, I still have the butterflies all over (not just my stomach) because of my visa situation, and I still have no place to settle down. No culture shock, and I don't expect a serious one in the near future, but loneliness keeps haunting me every now and then, we are in for a few fierce battles it seems. There are so many faces of loneliness - but at least one is delivered a blow here in Chiang Mai: you will never be alone. Whether it's just a surprise backrub from the internet cafe girl, or my boss comforting me when I'm crying, or a vendor smiling at me and giving a few extra donuts, people DO care, and it makes a mountain of a difference. An entire mountain range of a difference. I'm learning to be happy again, to live, to see the simple beauty of everyday things, to relate to people, to teach kids again....
Sounds simple, doesn't it? Wouldn't have had the guts without the inspiration from these blogs and the forums, and the people behind the words. I would like to thank you all again for helping me get myself together and fulfill a dream.