If you are wandering around the market, you might spot a hawker cooking little delicate rice pancakes on a steamer. These are called 'pak moh' or ปากหม้อ in Thai. The steam cooker usually has at least one cone-shaped cover which is used in the cooking process.

As you can see in the pictures, a piece of white cloth, either cotton or muslin, is stretched over the opening. A gap is left for the steam to escape. The batter is then spread thinly over the cloth. This batter is made from rice flour and tapioca. The cone-shaped cover is then placed over the top. She then turns her attention to the other steamer where the pancake is ready. She spoons in a small portion of a filling and then folds it together. This is then scooped up and put into the foam tray. She then spoons more of the batter on the now vacant cloth.

By this time, the other rice pancake is ready and she moves across the cone-shaped cover and starts again with the other filling. The fillings vary from store to store. It can be shrimp or pork, beansprouts, chopped parsley, long green beans and sweetcorn. The woman in this photo was working very fast going back and forth between the two steamers. It was fascinating to watch. It seemed popular as there was quite a crowd of people waiting.

It is amazing how sometimes wishes do come true!

It was only last week that I was praying to make a return trip to Bangkok aka Krungthep Maha Nakorn. Well, I got into office this morning, and I was surprised to be assigned for an appointment / meeting next week in Bangkok.

However, this is not going to be a holiday in Bangkok, but one of those lightning fast trips --- I would be arriving in Bangkok at about 22.30 on Wed, Sep 7, 2005, and I have to fly back to KL on 1500 Thur, Sep 7, 2005.

Geez, that leaves me with less than 14 hours to be in Bangkok. Minus all the meeting of people, the checking-in at the airport and all the nitty-gritty, I have less than 1 1/2 hour for my own leisure!!!!!!

Hey, how come my office overseas assignments are becoming like perpetual wait periods at the airports? Perhaps if I do not sleep at my room at Royal Orchid Sheraton, I would be able to see a little bit of Bangkok after dark?

Any Bangkokians bloggers wanna meet up for a late night supper? Or perhaps, a few Bangkokians to show me what's Bangkok between 0000 and 0700??

Anybody who has never experienced a traffic jam in Bangkok has not truly experienced Bangkok and anybody who has been a regular driver in Bangkok traffic jams should be granted a special award for courage and patience under extreme pressure.
My route to and from work was pretty straightforward, on paper. I travelled straight down Petchburi Road to soi ekamai 63 to get to work. On the way back, I had to go down to Sukhumvit road and drive a full circle to to get home due to the one way traffic on Petchburi road. Without traffic, the journey to work would take twenty minutes. But I didn't live in a Bangkok without traffic. I lived in a Bangkok that had loads of traffic. Going to work wasn't too bad, it usually took 45 minutes to an hour, depending on what time I left home. Coming home was a nightmare. They were building the skytrain along Sukhumvit and it could take anywhere from an hour to 2 hours to get home. There was one night when I was stuck in traffic approaching Siam Square, my petrol refuel light was on, and I hadn't moved more than 2 feet in 45 minutes. I could see the petrol station up ahead...it wasn't terribly far away but I was so scared I broke down in tears.
One day, I complained to my coworker about driving in all the traffic and she asked me how I got home. She was truly shocked to find out that I travelled on the main roads all the way home. She couldn't believe my ignorance and gave me the greatest gift I ever received in Bangkok...a shortcut.
By winding through a series of lanes between Sois 21 and 63 I could cut out a big chunk of the traffic jams. At first I was uncomfortable driving through such narrow lanes which were flanked by the high walls that surround the grounds of residences and condominiums in the area. But it wasn't that difficult really. Mirrors were mounted at blind corners so you could see if there was traffic approaching and the gated entranceways to properties provided enough room for you to pull in if you had to make way for a car trying to pass from the other direction. There was still a lot of traffic in the short cut, but it flowed better than the main roads. Plus, because I had to weave around a lot it was a more interactive driving experience. It was also a good way to discover different places to eat and shop. But it was not good in rainy season. You never knew when the next turn would bring you into a flooded soi.

After hearing this question throughout our trip to Thailand I finally thought long and hard about why we can’t go to see the elephants. For decades I have avoided taking my kids to the circus, animal shows, or some zoos because I was against seeing animals exploited for entertainment purposes. I just could not see past the animal’s eyes when they are subjected to doing tricks simply for our pleasure and amusement. Mostly, seeing the gigantic elephants in their little spaces whipped until they can stand on those little stools with their hind legs really got me to think….Animals weren’t born to amuse us, why should I pay money to go see an elephant stand on a stool or play soccer?

Remember that incident in Hawaii when a circus elephant went on a rampage and ran loose in the streets running over cars and people? Quietly, I was rooting for the elephant. Run little guy… go get lost in the woods where they will never find you!!! Run, run, run!!! We all know how that situation ended. He was shot dead! “Sorry folks, we plucked him from his mother’s womb so that he can make you laugh; now we had to shoot him because he went wild on us.” (Can’t imagine how that could happen.) And to my shocking amazement to hear that peta.com (people for the ethical treatment of animals) even has a campaign to boycott Thailand because of the “Phaajaan” ritual. I’ve seen the ritual and boy, I pray that in the next life I do not come back as an elephant. And what about all of the stories in the newspaper about the bad mahouts? I have to do my part and refuse to contribute to the cruelty of these animals by signing petitions to help them, boycotting the circus, and avoiding the zoos etc…. All of this compelling evidence and strong viewpoint and my kids still wanted to see the darn elephants. The kids are always whining…. “it’s not fair you got to see them, I want to ride the elephants like you did when you were little in that picture; I want to feed them bananas and sugar cane”. WHY CAN’T WE GO TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS!! You see, it was easier when they were little. Now that they have their own thoughts and feelings I can’t make it go away by distracting them or bribing them.

So now I’m faced with this dilemma, should I squash my feelings and take my kids to see the elephants? What can one little family prove by boycotting the zoo or the circus? I explained this to my dad. My dad suggested that all I can do is instill them with the feelings I have for the animals, inform them of the viewpoints and let them make their own decision. “You can’t deprive your kids of seeing these creatures close-up, they won’t be able to make up their minds by just looking at pictures from a book or scenes of a video. Look how strongly you felt about the animals when you saw them close-up. Let them see it with their own eyes. Besides, there's not many places in the world where you can reach out and touch an elephant.” Isn’t it amazing that dads can say the right things at the right time? DuHHH! Fine, we will go see the elephants! So, we set off to the Elephant Conservation Center in Lampang. As you can see from Jasmine’s first impression of a lively creature taking a bath… I’m thinking that she thought elephants weren’t supposed to be so life-sized!

For those of you who have become regular readers of my weekly blogging welcome back to another pulse pounding episode! Not to infer by 'pulse pounding' I mean this time out Wit is writing about the Thai bar girl scene in Thailand since for sure that's something I know nothing about ;)

However with any luck, as the title of this weeks missive implies, it's my plan to serve up a hot and spicy helping of blog! Those of you who read my stuff regualrly may have noticed a particular reference or two pop up on occasion, namely my addictions to American coffee, listening to my huge collection of pleing Thai เพลงไทย and most notably my culinary favorite that fiery hot stir fried beef and basil Thai creation otherwise known as pad baigapoa neua ผัดใบกะเพราเนึ้อ

It's my Holy Grail in DC to find a Thai resturant that serves pad baigapoa hot enough with the suicidual spicy kick I like where I don't have to ask the waiter to bring me a puen prik พวงพริก to heap on enough chillies. Sure I could always send it back to the kitchen but really to be honest I feel enough kreeng jai เกรงใจ that I don't want to bother the cook with my farang death wishes haha.

However recently I think I may have finally found my match! A few weeks ago I stopped in to check out a fairly new Thai resturant in my neighborhood only about 5 minutes walk from home. I was looking to treat myself to some nice Thai cooking after a frustrating day shopping at the local monster mall dealing with mass human insanity, which I can't stand, then to top it all having to walk away without buying what I went there to get in the first place! So I decided to seek some solace in some good Thai grub and stopped into this new place I had seen to check it out as it is literally on my way home.

For the middle of the afternoon it was slow with hardly any customers but the service was quick and friendly. After settling in at my table I managed to stumble through my usual request of pom yaak pad grapao neua phet mahk, pom chawp Thai phet, mai chawp farang phet, ok? ผมอยากผัดใบกะเพราเนึ้อเผ็ดมาก ผมชอบไทยเผ็ด ไม่ชอบฝรั่งเผ็ดใหม? which I hope serves two purposes, one I get to practice my Thai and two if I said it correctly then they know I meant business and I'm wanting the real deal and not pussyfooting around with 'watered down' spicy Thai just because I was born on the wrong side of the planet from Thailand. ;)

My genuinely friendly waiter (unfortunately something rare in most resturants I've been to) after bringing me a nice cool glass of Thai tea smiled and left with my order probably quite bemused at my poor mans Thai. But before I even had a chance to dig into my homework which I always carry with me he was coming back with my order! The pad baigapoa looked so good and smelled delicious I could only hope he understood my request to make it hot enough to stunt growth but I was impressed with the service and everything so far. I asked him how come it was so fast and he said with that famous Thai smile "No problem sir, we have microwave!" Ye Gods! A Thai resturant with great (looking) food, service and a Thai waiter with my same cheeky sense of humor? That's right up my alley! If the food was as hot as I like it I knew I would be in love. :)

View It!

Wat Sothon Wararam Worawihan

In my library, I probably have just about every guidebook that has ever been published about Thailand. My rough rule of thumb to judge a good guidebook is to look up my home province of Samut Prakan. If the guidebook has it, then I consider it to be a comprehensive guide. Another place to look up in the index is Chachoengsao, a province about 100 kms east of Bangkok. Lonely Planet, Rough Guide, Moon, Footprint, National Geographic and many others don't feature this province. To the credit of Lonely Planet, they did give it half a page about ten years ago. But, not any longer. Joe Cummings did tell me once that he was under pressure from the publishers to cut out little visited provinces as the guidebook had reached its limit in number of pages.

In the old days, it was the foreign guidebooks that were leading the way in Thailand. However, things have changed. Spurred on by the Tourist Authority of Thailand's "Unseen Thailand" campaign, Thai people have now taken a greater interest in exploring their own country. As a consequence, over the last year or so, we have started to see some good quality, Thai language, guidebooks. One of them on my desk at the moment is "Unseen Thailand" and this book has several pages of places to see in Chachoengsao. This is where I went today. I strongly suggest, that any guidebook writers reading this, should take time out to visit some of these lesser known provinces.

Life along the Bang Pakong River

For most people, it is easy to reach Chachoengsao from Bangkok by train or bus. However, I drove there via the Bang Na-Trad tollway and the 304 highway. It took just over an hour to travel the 80 kms or so. I was actually going today to visit the Thai Food Festival in Phanom Sarakham District. But, as this wasn't due to start until late afternoon I decided to visit the township first. The main attraction in Chachoengsao is Wat Sothon Wararam Worawihan. This lies alongside the Bang Pakong River. The new ordination hall is massive. It has only recently been completed. The spire is an amazing 84 metres high and is probably the tallest ordination hall in Thailand.

Behind the temple you can join boat tours of the local area. During the weekend and holidays, tours leave hourly and only cost 100 baht for adults and 60 baht for children. The scenery on both sides of the river is very beautiful. During the tour you will be able to witness people going about their normal daily life. You will see humble wooden shacks and exquisite teak houses. You can catch a glimpse of the old city wall and many temples. One of the stops takes you to the hundred year old Ban Mai Market and the Chinese temple at Wat Leng Hok Yee.

Luang Pho Sothon

Back at Wat Sothon, I went inside the newly opened ordination hall to pay respect to the sacred image of Luang Pho Sothon. You are not actually allowed to take a photo anymore, but I managed to take this one on my previous visit while construction was still going on. Like other important and royal temples, you need to cover up if you are wearing sleeveless shirts. A gown is provided free of charge. There is an interesting legend behind Luang Pho Sothon. Apparently, he was one of three brothers who were Buddha images. During one of the conflicts, towards the end of the Ayutthaya period, the three brothers just got up one day and walked down to the river. The strong current took them downstream. One of them ended up at Samut Songkram. Another ended up in Samut Prakan on my doorstep. The third arrived in Chachoengsao.

There is a lot more to see in this area but I didn't have enough time today. Maybe next time. I will share my photos with you of the Food Festival another day.

More pictures can be found at our sister site: www.thaibuddhist.com

My Thai friends have been continuously teasing me saying that I could apply for a position as an "accidental expert". Not that I ever wanted to apply, it was rather by karmic appointment I guess. I do believe in karma to some extent, that there must be a reason why anything happens to us, that there is a list of lessons to be learnt and feelings to be experienced, which cannot be escaped – many Hungarians consider this approach as a comfortable way of not taking the responsibility for your life and basically an "easy way out" for cowards.... and it is a lot of trouble trying to explain how it is meant to be.... Anyway. I have never had to spend a minute in a hospital outside Thailand.... but once I'm there.... I don't dare to set foot in the land of smiles without an insurance.

It was my last day in Thailand before leaving for a new life and job in Taiwan, and I went to Wat Po to pray – might be a commonplace tourist "trap" again, but I do love the place - , and then wandered around the abandoned parts of the complex – there is a school, with a pingpong table and basketball court, and there were some renovations going on, with heaps of rubble. And there was this furious dog near the entrance that charged straight at me, for no reason whatsoever. I collapsed immediately after the bite, later it turned out to be a two-centimeter deep wound, which took months to heal. My leg was bleeding like a fountain and I was in shock. I don't know how much time passed before there was a crowd of about thirty people around me, all Thai. They collected my bag and bandanna. A man gave me a mobile phone to call someone, a guesthouse, or anybody I know, and then realising I was unable to push the buttons or speak, he just took the piece of paper with my Thai friend's phone number from my hand and called her. A monk turned up and gave a preaching (or tell-off) to the dog, one of the temple dogs, and apologised about a hundred times, he was almost in a more miserable shape than me. A woman got me by the arm, pulled me outside the gate, flagged a tuktuk, and ordered it to drive to the nearest pharmacy at breakneck speed, where I got a generous dose of iodine or some other disinfectant on the wound and fainted for the second time. The woman paid for the tuktuk, I remember she was yelling at the driver, who was trying to overcharge the farang. But she refused to accept a single baht from me in the end, and I didn't have the strength to insist. Then my friend arrived at Wat Po – we were about to meet anyway for a farewell dinner - and she took care of me. I was taken to a hospital, where I got some more rinsing, lots of penicillin, and the first of five rabies shots (the remaining four turned into an adventure tour in Taiwan, a country where rabies is unheard of, so it took the authorities and my new boss a lot of trouble to track down the vaccine.). Since then, I have been panic-stricken if a stray dog looks at me. If it heads for me, I just start screaming, I cannot help it, whether it works or not. It's a lousy, sneaky bunch of beasts, lying seemingly helplessly during the heat of the day, but coming to life as the sun sets, when they can scare the hell out of innocent passers-by in the gloomy streets....

And then I had the case of being hit by a motorcycle on a subsequent visit. And then getting some rashes and a horrible sunburn after elephant riding, being unable to walk for a day . And then severe dehydration caused by a pizza in a horribly expensive Italian restaurant where I took a Thai friend because he had never eaten a pizza in his life – well, he had quite an experience at the first try, he'll never forget it for sure. (I got a bed in the hospital with a magnificent view over Doi Suthep, he got away more lightly and wasn't hospitalised.) And every time, strangers helped me, took care of me, took care of my belongings, visited me in the hospital, brought a dinner for me. It was never the other farangs around, but always the Thais. A guy who brought some lotion for my sunburn and rashes after that elephant ride even fell in love with me, apparently, and proposed to me after two days, which I had to turn down "reluctantly" :-) First I thought it was just some practical joke, it turned out he really meant it....

Just "try" any of these accidents over here and see what happens. Consider yourself lucky if after a simple fainting in the street due to a sudden drop in blood pressure you still have your bag when you recover more or less, sitting on the pavement, with all the indifferent people passing you by or remarking that you shouldn't drink so much so early in the morning. Ok, maybe one in ten would ask if you're fine.... but they would expect yes for an answer so that they can walk away feeling relieved. That's kind of what I was trying to refer to when I was talking about the fabric of society in Thailand. It's not just a bunch of indifferent people who turn a blind eye to each other if anything unexpected happens. They are humans.

Or is it, again, just a facade for the farang? I have no way of being certain, but I don't think so.

Let me just say that totally by accident I found out that a restaurant (that I LOVE) has Lychee fruit. Granted, they aren't fresh I think they are canned but that was my very first taste of things to come in Thailand. They taste like a cross between a tart orange (or if you've had it, and ugli fruit) and a coconut. It was so good! It looked like a little white olive but was sweet and tart at the same time. I am a big fruit eater and now I CAN"T WAIT to try all the fruits I see pictures of - rambutans, fresh lychee, jackfruit, and yes I might even try a durian. My ears even perked up a little when I saw a blog pic (I can't remember who's sorry) of a dragon fruit. I wanted to lick my computer screen, it made me so hungry. That and the fact that tom yam gung is only my favoritest soup EVER! I am raring to go eat some street vendor food!

Do I really need to say how much I am chomping at the bit to shop the Chatuchak Market?

In other news- I made a comment in an earlier post (yesterday) about a tattoo and was surpised by the amount of attention it got. I didn't think anyone would comment on it. I guess that's because I underestimate constantly the amount of affection many have for their ink. I was greatly disappointed to learn that as a woman there was really no way for me to get a sacred tattoo as monks would not be able to touch me in anyway BUT that doesn't mean I can't still get one. Once I get it I will post a pic of it too!

I want to go to one of Jimmy Wong's studios but as of yet I am not sure which one. I am certainly going to try and go to the tattoo festival in Bangkok if I can find out when and where it is. I just hope I am there for it. Until then...

For those of you that have been following my (recently infrequent) blog. I have my ticket to Bangkok in my hand right this second (yes it is harder to type with a plane ticket in your hand) I haven't been able to let it out of my sight since I got it. (Is it wrong to fondle a paper ticket?)
I am extremely excited and still working on my Thai, I am a little more than a little intimidated by the tonal languages. Wish me luck! Will keep you posted!

Spurred on by the news about the bizarre name the Asoke sect have taken, like this guy who changed his legal name to Tai-Nae (Dead for sure) Mungmajon (determined to be poor), I thought perhaps we can do a little bit of fun activity today.

You know how many celebrity don't use their birth name but a stage name?

Over here in the US, there's a little game about how you create your...um...adult movie star name. The name of your first pet becomes your stage first name, and the street you grow up on becomes your last name. For example: My first pet was a dog named Bob. My street is Soi Langsuan. So I applied a little twist, and voila. Hello. My stage name is Bobbi Lang.

So now, we're going to play this game THAI-BLOGS style. We'll find you a Thai stage name!

First name: Start with the word "Som". Then add the last syllable of your last name.

Note: Common Thai names, like John Smith here, is Somchai. There are many many names that started with "som", which means befitting, well suited, or sometimes also means as you wish. Somchai = befitting a man = manly. So there are a lot of Som's out there. Somying (womanly). Somsri (full of grace). Somkid (your ideas come true). Somphol (powerful). You get the idea.

Last name: Name of the first hotel you checked into in Thailand OR the street of your first Thai residency. *New addition* If you haven't gone to Thailand yet, pick one Thai word or name of a place in Thailand that strike your fancy.

Finally, for even more fun. Add your dream entertainment career as well.

So here is how you will "introduce" yourself.

Sawasdee ka/krup.
My name is [Thai-Blogs stage name]. I am a [dream entertainment career]. (My other stage name is [US stage name].)

For example:
Sawasdee ka!
My name is Somren Langsuan. I am a rockstar. (My other stage name is Bobbi Lang.)

Give it a go, people! :)

This popular Thai dessert is called gluay chuam ( กล้วยเชื่อม ). To be honest, I never really liked bananas back in the UK, but I do like them here in Thailand. In particular, I like the dessert bananas. However, this dish is strictly for the sweet-toothed people among us. The bananas are cooked in a syrup (sugar and water). Then they are topped with coconut cream.

Wandering in Bangkok, I chanced upon this beautiful building above. The pagoda-like porch is looking novel and somehow goes well with a modern skyscraper.

Another attractive feature is the clock, where in the time is indicated in Thai script. This gives a unique type of beauty to the clock.

Thai script with its elliptic and circular alphabet is very distinct. The most easily recognised and readable words in hoardings are Coke and Pepsi.

Thai script contributes a lot to the beauty of hoardings and advertisements.

Old Patong was about the sweetest place a couple of lucky honeymooners could be in 1979.

We arrived early June, the monsoon working strong, we'd sit in a little open air restaurant, watching the sky turn black, the winds pick up from the southeast, over the southern cape of Patong Bay.

The shopkeeper would usually only drop the blue plastic tarp shielding us from the onslaught after a few minutes of heavy downpour.

We'd sip hot Milo as the rain beat a steady, deffening alegro on the tin roof. You'd never realize the Blue Andaman was just across the street, 30meters to the ocean.

The big waves washed in, some 2-3meters high, I'd hobbled out to sea, get in the water up to my hips and then through my forearm crutches as far onto shore as I could, quickly swimming out under the big breakers, occassionally catching a few and riding them all the way back into the shower.

The powdery white sands of Patong, a few kilos anyway, inside my swim trucks, but back out to sea, catch another wave, and another and another, dodging the huge logs and various things floating in the water, but it was nice, the water temp would always cool down a few degrees during the heavy rains or big waves, maybe as cool as 90F...

Catching one last wave, hopefully a BIG one, I'd bodysurf back to shore, crawl the few meters towards my crutches, hopefully find them[sometimes I didn't throw them far enough and had to search for a bit, but was lucky that time and learned to throw them as far as I could from the sea, maybe 20meters], get back up on my feet, wander back into the warm water, try to remove a kilo of sand from my swim trunks,etc, it was always the same, but once you body surfed Patong during the monsoon, you were spoiled, the rest of the year the bay was smooth as glass, and never a cool spot to be found!

The heavy rains would often just blow thru quickly, sometimes it rained for a few hrs, usually it was past us in 15minutes, but you never knew during monsoon.

Usually there were no others in the water with me, a few times some of the Kangaroo tourists we'd met that week, staying at Valentine Bungalow too.

These were wild boys, all in their 20's, all addicted to Singha and good times. All worked hard in the mines of Western Aussie where they finally saved enough to stay here for months at a time.

Usually the water buffalo[Carabao]would walk out in the late afternoons heat, a heard mingling up and down the beach, escaping the heat and misquitos from the little rice paddy just a few clicks east of the bay.

Old Patong was still the same side it is today, but then there were barely 5 bungalow compounds and the big Patong Beach Hotel up the road about mid bay.

Patong Beach bungalow was first one the beach, the place by the little stagnant misquito filled creek, next Patong Beach Hotel, several stories, hmmmmm, was it two or three, anyway, only bus tour folks stayed there, it was a lofty 500Baht a day, and no serious traveller or backpacker would ever stay at a place that had ....air conditioning! A few crazy Dutch would usually be found at the nearby Seven Seas bungalow, then Valentines, Bayshore, next to what is now Holiday Inn, then last but not least...SeaView!

SeaView was at the extreme southern end of Patong Bay, it was rumored that the "bandits" had actually come out of the "jungle" beyond there and robbed the tourists and stoled the TV set!

Behind the beach was a small rice paddy that went the entire rear section of the bay, brackish water, and you could even catch BIG King Prawns there if you knew how!

We occassionally took the local bus to Phuket town to buy supplies, there was NO store anywhere around Patong, but the big open market in Phuket town had anything needed. The bus ride was about sip baht, I think. Patty found a nice noodle stall near the bowling alley where the curry was top rank and would often bring some back, along with 50baht worth of orchids, enough to fill both her arms!

The second day there we met "Chi-an", he was a tall, lanky Thai, had an old jeep from the Viet Nam days, with "UArmy Remember" painted on it, we became quick friends, Chi-an had a little hootch just infront of Valentine bungalow, he sold us fresh BBQ'd fish, played frisbee with the water buffalos and we spent considerable time there consuming Mekhong whiskey, our new favorite drink, liberally mixed with Spite or Coke, sometimes even GreenSpot.

Chi-an jeep was a real pile,it wouldn't make it over the steep Patong hills to Phuket town without those inside getting out and putting big rocks under the tires to keep it from rolling back down to the bottom of the road[it did happen occassionally]. Chi-an would "pop" the clutch and the old rusted jeep would lurch up the hill another meter, sometimes this took several tries before the occupants could climb back in, usually as the Jeep rolled over the crest of the hill and was ready to slide down the other side.

Chi-an fortunately knew how to drive OK, he never scared us like the TukTuk/Samlor/Bus drivers, but it was a tad unnerving just the same.

Most of the roads in Phuket in 79 were unpaved, cept the big road across the bridge, the airport or near town.

Once we were lucky and he took us around to Kata Noi, a real gem! Like a very small Patong, horseshoe shaped bay, a few small huts on the hillside, that was it, it was idealic!!!

to be continued...

20-year old Bangkok college student Panupol Sujjayakorn is playing in the 2005 National Scrabble Championship finals today (24th August)against 31-year old Dave Wiegand from Portland, Oregon. According to an article in the Wall Street Journal, ESPN will be taping the finals for telecast in the fall. As of 12:45 PDT, the finalists had finished three of the five games. Sujjayakorn won the first and second games and Wiegand won the third game. The winner of the best-of-five finals wins a $25,000 first prize.
In 2003 Panupol won the World Scrabble Championship held in Malaysia. According to the Wall Street Journal, the National Scrabble Championship has never been won by a non-North American.

*** update ***
Wiegand defeated Panupol in the final two games of the series to win the championship. The final scores were 338-467, 349-463, 501-364, 441-371, and 529-331. Words played in the finals include SABERING, FLORINS, COGWAY, GAYETY, TANKING, RUSTLED, ENDOSTEA and EARLOBE; all played by Panupol. Wiegand's plays include HUGEOUS, SCABIES, EULACHON, TINSTOENE, TAPERING, OVERKEEN, DYADIC, LENSMEN, REENTERS, and PARTING.

As the second prize winner, Panupol takes home $10,000 which he reportedly will use to fly to London in a few months to defend his world championship title.

Interestingly, the article in the Wall Street Journal noted that Panupol does not speak very good English. The journalist went on to speculate whether this is actually an advantage in Scrabble training because Panupol does not concern himself with the meanings or contexts of words, he just memorizes them and categorises them in terms of probabilities and Scrabble strategy.

(I am leaving for my hometown, Sabah (East Malaysia), for a few days...so I had better finished my date...The Hala-bala.:))

After touring and inspecting the Hala-bala forest for some time, our helicopter stopped at the first border patrol police field camp on the fertile banks. At the request of Her Majesty Queen Sirikit, the border patrol has been stationed at Balahala since 1990, protecting the forests and watersheds. Wildlife has benefited from their presence.

We also visited another camp site at the riverside, about 15 minutes away by helicopter, and had lunch with the police. I must say that the police cook better than I do! :) It is indeed a lunch with a difference, spellbound with the tranquility of the rainforest.

Listening to Mayor of Betong & Some of the patrol police

There are chalets for visitors at the camp sites. During normal days when the river is full, the visitors can come by boats. However, currently the water is half dried so the visitors can only take the boats halfway and have to walk here.

Parts of the camp site

According to the police, a herd of around 20 rhinoceroses roamed the grasslands near the police camp sometimes, unperturbed by people. There were elephants, wild pigs, deer and otters appearing too….Besides, the police often found footprints of tigers along the river banks. Asking whether the wildlife will attack people, the police told me that they live together ‘peacefully’ …..thanks to the good work of the border patrol police and the sustainable use of the forest by the indigenous people!

The Thai call the indigenous people as “Sakai”rong>"Sakai" is a Malay word, it carries 3 meanings. 1. a general name(which is rude) for the primitive tribe. 2. a name for a primitive tribe (senoi). 3. slave, servant or follower. In Malaysia, we called them in Malay language as Orang Asli which means indigenous people or natives.

As I can speak Malay, I chatted with Din, the native. He has similar outlook features with the natives I visited before in East Malaysia and Cameron Highlands. Din is shy but friendly. He is 20 years old, married with 4 kids. His family of 10 live 20 miles away from the filed camp. Sometimes he came to the field camp to visit the police and sometimes to barter for food with other tribes of about 10 people,not living far from the site. The police told me that Din has learned Thai from them and can speak some simple Thai. I asked whether I can visit his house…he said it took two days to walk home and there are tigers on the way….

I've been having a really miserable time since my first post, but at least it seems my yearlong dilemma has been cut short. I just need to pick up some more courage, run a few of those nightmare laps of visa - plane ticket - bank account, then close my eyes, and take the plunge. I'm just wondering why it's so hard this time, after all, I know what it's like to fit in a different culture (I could write a two-volume book on my experiences in Taiwan), I have already been to Thailand a few times, I can find my way around, I have a rough idea of what to expect. Hang on.... could this be exactly where my feelings of uncertainty stem from? That I have expectations of returning "home"? That it's not just an adventure any more, not an admittedly and undoubtedly transitory phase of my life, but there is a lot more at stake? But on second thought, what on earth is NOT transitory?! I've been hanging on to this idea of "returning to Thailand" as a last resort, as an escape route if all else fails. And now all else has failed almost completely. But what if even the escape route fails? Then I would be stuck to say the least. These feelings have been haunting me for a while now.
What are my expectations? On first mention, images, sounds, smells, tastes come back and make me smile. Fractions of moments, snippets of memories. I have always had the feeling I had seen all before, maybe in a previous life. Everything was eerily familiar from the very first day on. After my return, I was frequently dreaming about Thailand in amazing detail and vividness. (And no, I have never ever been homesick the other way round. I longed for home meals at times and of course meeting my family, but not the place as it is.) The details.... The smell of the flower garlands, incense sticks, and curry, and the rotting rainforests. The quick smile of monks as they look at me in the eye and then realise they shouldn't and look away, the shy faces of children in small villages. The sound of honking cars and motorcycles, and music, and fish chewing coral, and the Bangkok conductors opening and shutting their money cylinder. The touch of warm monsoon rain on my skin, and the wet red clay under my bare feet. The taste of mataba sold in a certain Bangkok street, but only very early in the morning, and the phat thai in a certain Chiang Mai street, but only in the evenings, and the milkrice at Treehouse, Ko Chang. Dozens, hundreds of fragments like this, I could start to fill another volume just by listing them all.
And then comes this feeling, this impression – six months is not much time really, I can only have impressions – that in Thailand, people are not just a bunch of indifferent people, but they are held together by myriads of invisible threads and bonds. Despite the development, and modern achievements, they have managed to hold on to traditions that go beyond the surface and relationships that make a society work. Here in Eastern Europe, there is a lot of talk about Christian values and a cooperative society and caring for each other and developing potentials and freedom of personality and speech and most of all the freedom to consume.... but somehow it's just a nice icing on an otherwise individualistic, pushy, aggressive, depressive and disintegrating cake, oops I mean, society. Maybe I just haven't had enough insights, or I want to cherish a dream desperately, but I feel that despite the controversial issues of a modernising society, Thai people are hanging on. The fabric of society (common values, traditions, rules, and mutual obligations) is in much better shape. And this appeals to me. Just to look at it selfishly, it's much easier to get by in an optimistic, caring environment even as a visitor than to survive on a daily basis in a gloomy, egotistic, suppressive setting. For example, let's just take this case of dogs and men.... next time :-)

A few months back I was telling you about the new google web site where you could view satellite photos of my home province of Samut Prakan. At that time there were no photos available of Bangkok. But, google have just done an update. You cannot see it on their online version, but if you download Google Earth you can then explore Bangkok from the comfort of your living room!

This first picture clearly shows Sanam Luang (the brown looking green field). You can see how near to the river it is. At the southern end is the Grand Palace complex. The wide road running across the top is Ratchadamnoen. At the roundabout is the Democracy Monument. Can you see Wat Suthat? (Go to page 2 for a closer look at the temple)

In this next picture I have zoomed in to show the Grand Palace. In the top right is the Temple of the Emerald Buddha. In the middle is the actual palace. The southern half of the compound is the "harem" made famous by Anna in the movie The King and I. Only women were allowed here. Even the guards protecting the entrance were women.

There are more pictures on page 2 and also the link to download Google Earth for free!

Pages: 1 · 2

However modest, a home after all is a home. There is always this sentimental attachment. In so far as a house is independent, it tends to develop its own personality- a tree here, a spirit house there, a few plants of colourful hibiscus. Some of Bangkoks' houses by the klongs look very photogenic.

But now its a luxury in a big modern metropolis. So we have tall apartments and condominiums.

Two newly constructed housing complexes are presented here, located in Phahonyothin Road. While walking across the road, I found both the buildings radiating happiness.

Oh, get your mind out of the gutter! I’m “progressive” and all but I’m not talking about THAT. ;-)

As Wit goes about talking about JAI (heart), as I was at home yesterda because my guts has been literally rebelling against whatever it is I ate the previous day, I was inspired to expand on the Thai body parts into a few other Thai sayings. Of course, this is all based on my understanding of the sayings. No book to back it up or anything. You just have to trust the native speaker on this one. : - )

Thankgoodness for online Thai-English dictionary! I managed to construct the sayings onto here either word by word or letter by letter.

So here goes, starting with the one near and dear to my heart at the moment. And yes. It’s a little gross.

Tong Siah / Tong Ruang / Tong Dern
ท้องเสีย / ท้องร่วง / ท้องเดิน
Direct translation: Bad (siah) stomach (tong) / Falling (ruang) stomach / Walking (dern) stomach

When Thai people talk about their “stomach”, it doesn’t necessarily mean just the stomach. Tong covers your whole mid section and your intestinal tracks.

Tong Siah is used when someone has a mild case of diarrhea. It suggests that the “stomach” has gone bad. Tong Ruang is when it’s a really bad case of one, befitting the imagery of your intestines falling out of your body. Tong duen is a little less than that, but worse than Tong Siah. I don’t have to go into more details than that, do I?

Siew Sai / Kluen Sai
เสียวไส้ / คลื่นไส้
“Oh…my…god…we’re all going to die!”
Direct translation: First off, Sai means intestines. Oh gosh, how on earth can I explain “siew”? Sensitive teeth meet ice. Nails on chalkboard. Yeah. That’s the feeling of “siew”. Kluen means wave, as in ocean waves.

Siew Sai is a slang for that sensation you get of anticipation and terror. Not necessarily in your stomach, and maybe a little bit of the tingling in your spine. It’s the feeling you have right before the roller coaster takes the dip; when it’s 1 point away with 5 seconds to go; witnessing a near-hit collision. On the other hand, yet another sensation you may get out of riding the roller coaster, Kluen Sai means nausea. Nice imagery once again for that gurgling, rolling feeling in your stomach when you are nauseated.

I promise, the rest is not gross.

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22 August 2005, what a fine day! I was really excited when being invited to join the visiting team to the border patrol police field camp in Bala-hala Forest, which was royally registered as a southern rainforest district 2 on Sankalakiree Mountain between Thailand and Malaysia.

A Few years ago when I went to Las Vegas, my friends told me that I must take the Grand Canyon helicopter tour. However, after a tight schedule of meetings, crazy shopping and magnificent shows, I missed the helicopter experience ...

But now… haha, I can only say YEAH!!! YEAH!!! YEAH!!!

Now, let me make a little introduction about Balahala forest!!!

Thailand lies at the crossroads of Indochina and Sundaic zoogeographic regions. It has a diversity of flora and fauna, including 10% of the world's bird fauna, and possibly the largest subpopulations of tigers and elephants in Mainland Southeast Asia. It has over 200 fully staffed national parks, sanctuaries and non-hunting areas covering 17% of the country. Most of the largest and most intact areas lie in remote border areas, that in the past were areas of civil unrest and conflict, and avoided. This is partly why they are still good areas for wildlife now!

Balahala is a majestic forest in Thailand's deep south. The area is a true rainforest, wet all year round, drained by several large streams that flow from high mountain peaks on the Malaysia border. The nature reserves comprise a wide biological diversity and home to rare wild water and land animals and plants. Tigers , elephants and nine species of hornbill and other animals share the forest with indigenous Sakai tribal people, denizens of the rainforest.

I will share with you my visit at the field camp and my new Sakai friend on our next date!

Pictures taken in the sky…

Bala-Hala Forest

Betong town

The vast area of rubber trees surrounding Betong town(a little blur because photo taken thru’ glass)

Over the years the Bangkok skyline is changing for the better. This has been mainly due to imaginative architecture and use of colourful reflective material like glass, acrylic sheet and PVC.

Many of the buildings have blue and green reflective/refractive materials, which reflect the sky. This prevents the buildings from being eyesores. In fact, the structure seamlessly merges with the sky.

Despite being tall, Thai Wah and Thai Farmers Bank HQ have attractive presence in the city skyline.

I have attached the snap of a building under construction (in 2002 August) near the unique Elephant Building. The blue glass reflects the sky and brings forth the life in the up coming high rise.

After feeling rather stressed out of late running around like a beheaded chicken helping me fiancee to sort out precarious wedding arrangements, I thought that I’d brighten me heart up a bit and go back to write about perhaps my fave subject and that is 'the people of the provinces'.

Well, our webmaster friend here Mr Richard has certainly put a lot of effort into giving yous all an indepth low-down on Thai superstitions and beliefs over the past few months. So, I felt that I ought to get into the act meself with some related stuff along the same lines - stevesuphan style. From what i see, Thailand is a boiling pot for a whole lot of hocus-pocus quack-wack beliefs which have nothing whatsoever to do with Buddhism. Then, as the 21st century kicks in and capitalism has reached every corner of the country it has left all the folk desiring a new Video Phone Nokia, a flashy new Honda Jazz or the latest Lap-top. To appease this suffering due to lack of consumer products the nation has been bent on ‘winning the lottery’ to relieve them of their awful existance.

Now, since most folks believe in predicting the lucky number in the thrice monthly Governemnt lottery a whole shab of sceething money making opportunities have arisen in regards to forecasting the number. One very well-known place for making-merit and so finding out the lucky lottery number of the week is here in my province of Suphanburi. Know it or not, Suphanburi is country-famous for two things to say the least one is politicians but most of all ‘Singers’. At the end of the day, I would have to say that the most famous person ever to come out of Suphanburi has to be ‘Phuangphuang Duangchan’, even more so than Carabao or a former PM as 'Phumphuang' (Pheung) holds 'legendary' stautus'. If you are a foreigner wondering to the likes of ‘Who the heck is she? Then let me say that she is the ‘Queen of Lukthung’, the girl that gave birth to sexy naughty Thai country music which you can watch 24 hours a day on Thai TV. She died about 15 years ago but the temple in which her ashes are found in Song Phi Nong district is a Mecca for folks to come pay respects on the hope of finding out the lucky lottery number of the week. Praying is done in front of this quite cheesy statue of her that is taken care of by the resident monks.

What on earth her dead body has to do with forecasting the lottery number is a complete mystery to me. Then, just a few months ago it was that time of the year again, 'Ms Phuangphuang's b-day' and the media and thousands of folk arrived at the temple on the day of the lottery, to pay their respects to her statue and to pray that the lucky two-digit nuber of that week would once again fall on her actual birthdate. Sure, did I enjoy having a right laugh, ridiculing a few of the locals here "What kind of crocko-belief is that?, you gotta be pulling me leg!" and was absolutely flabbergasted the next day to read the newspaper headlines of ‘Phumphuang has done it again!’ and we see literally thousands of followers and monks dancing up and down in front of the camera celebrating their lucky win and praying to Phumphuang as if she were some Hindu Queen. Shiver-me-timbers! As for me, i'll have to be a bit more careful with some of me words from now on.

This is just one example of forecasting the lucky lottery number but there are thousands of others. Even my previous next-door neighbours claimed that their pet fish would often swiffle its tail around in the bottom of its tank and lay marks similar to a two digit number. Each time I asked him to why he hadn't won that time around, would reply “Ooooh, my fish was right but I myself was at fault as I was unable to make out the fish’s handwriting properly.

Just last week, the nations ‘Sangha’ (if you know readers pls help me trans this to English, I forget) like Buddhism Body of Thailand declared for the umpteenth time that monks producing Buddhist Amulets for financial gain are be stopped! Oh yeah, a lot of folks just love having a belief in a whole variety of Buddhist amulets even though, again, its not actually part of the religion. Now, some of these amulets are worth an absolute fortune with the most sought after ‘Somdet Wat Rakrang’ fetching mind-boggling prices, I mean up to 30 million baht. Of course these are an absolute hit with a lot of the country’s politicians as it is believed that, if worn, you will be protected from getting shot. ie. if shot, the amulet with its amazing powers will protect the wearer and the bullet will just miraculously vanish into thin air. Well, even if I were given a loan of one I doubt I’d try it out see if it actually works.

Then, for any single men lacking lowly on the ‘charming ladies’ scale there are naughty shaped amulets that when hung from the waist, of course under yer shirt, will soon be the cause for a whole string of lusty girls fighting to get their arms round you.

Then, just how many Buddha footprints are there in Thailand? Don’t get me wrong but my history book says that The Buddha was born in present-day India. If any of you readers should care to enlighten me on just how Thailand got to be the source of so many of these footprints I’ll more than happy to listen. Having resided at temples from time to time practicing meditation I’ve heard a lot of folklore tales which I never read about in any Buddhist book. One nun I knew once gave me the ins and outs of loads-a upcountry beliefs. Here is one for example “All you Farang and non-practioners of Buddhism are doomed for an after life of starvation as you never give food to the monks”. Well, according to her, it was Buddhist belief that giving food to the monks is like an investment policy ie. we well get back all the food we have given to the monks back in the afterlife. Now, I definetly never read about that in any Dhamma book. But I guess it’s a good story on getting people to give alms in the morning.

Then, for us men who feel that we’re are a little on the physically weak side, get yerself a sacred ‘animal tattoo’ from some well known upcountry monk, who, for just a few hundred baht will tattoo in a big fancy tiger or the what-not on yer body and you’ll soon be as powerful as the creature inbedded in yer skin. Just a few months ago, it was reported all over the press about the strange goings-on at one of the nation’s temples. It was reported that every one of the young lads who had recently got a ‘sacred animal tattoo’ from some monk there had terrifyingly started behaving like the tattoed animal itself. Golly-gosh! Some of the scenes almost had me in tears of laughter with all these fine lads, apparantly in some kind of hypnotic frenzy, running around the temples on all fours growling away at each other like intoxicated mad tigers. Up to your on belief but I for one will give that one a miss.

Then, we have the world-famous Nong Khai fireballs that amazingly just spring out of the Maekhong river on the last day of Buddhist Lent every year putting on a supposedly completely natural fireworks show. So incredible, that even a movie was made about this phenomenon just a couple of years back. Of course the locals have a lot of belief that it’s all true and darned sure its good for tourism but there have been quite a few sceptics too (as normal). Even one newspaper reporter who claimed that some of the fireballs were in fact gunshots from the Laotian side of the river was soon facing a lawsuit from the Nong Khai Authorities. In fact, it’s still a darned mystery and even most sceptics can’t work out ways on how to fake such a show. This was what the movie was about and perhaps some of it was true. As for me however, I’ll stay here and watch some fireworks show on Sanam Luang instead.

Visit Steve's main page at Steve's Weblog

A lot of popular Thai celebrities are half Thai, including actresses, models, singers, musicians, and athletes. The first year that I lived in Thailand, two international celebrities, who were both half Thai, visited the country. The Thai media made a very big deal out of these visits and the country was obviously proud of its "Thai children" who had achieved international success. I was talking to a coworker about one of these celebrities (a very well known athlete), who was half American/ half Thai. My coworker told me that when she lived in L.A. she used to go to the Thai temple and she often saw this guy at the temple before he became very, very famous. She went on to say that he was "truly Thai." I found this very curious and asked how she could say that he was truly Thai when his father was American, he had never lived in Thailand, and he could barely speak the Thai language. I asked her, "What made him truly Thai?" She answered, "he feared his mother."

When I wrote my blog last week on Jai ใจ, the Thai language of the heart, I don't think I realized potentially just how big a blog I planned to take a bite out of to chew! Writing about Christopher Moore’s book ‘Heart Talk’ I learned there are just so many really cool and uniquely ‘Thai’ nuances to express the heart. I mean tipping the scales at just over 450 different phrases to convey about 400 different kinds of feeling… that’s a lot of feeling! I was being way too optimistic to do a fairly decent write up on this and be anywhere near complete in just one blog there are just too many good examples to pick from.

Looking at the scope of what I could write about in several pretty decent blogs I was at a loss just what to do. Chop everything up into bits and blurbs of Jai like curry? Some spicy, some sweet or some hot? Write and write and write until my cracked and bleeding fingers can’t type anymore? Oui, the checks my brain writes that my body has to cash sometimes. And I have to go to bed in about 5 hours!

Therefore I decided rather than trying to tackle the whole book in one go I thought in ode to Stevesuphans ‘do and don’t’ series I’d do something similar. Yes, Virginia when in doubt or facing a deadline plagiarism (sort of) is alive and well in America, I mean just look at TV!

I’m thinking there are 13 chapters in the book so why not pick a chapter or two to write about at a time? That enough blog material for each month at least for a year! Like the saying goes, ”How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time”. How do you write a blog this big? One chapter at a time. Nguu nguu, bplaa bplaa. Same thing. This way a little over time actually says a lot, perfect for a perpetual talker like me, chai mai?

That being said here now is part 2 of Heart Talk my new on again, off again (like my coffee habit) series of blogs on Jai, the Thai language of the heart so let’s get to the good stuff starting with today’s line up. However, if you’re like me and not the patient sort to wait till the end of my blog series to learn everything about Jai you can always buy the book from Richard’s bookshop. I’m sure he won’t mind just tell him Wit sent ya ;)

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The first Thailand-Malaysia Games (17th-19th August 2005) organized by Yala Institute of Physical Education under Minister of Tourim and Sports, coordinated and supported by Municipality of Betong, has been smoothly run and ended last Friday. The opening ceremony was officiated by Arzan Wannoor MP, Adviser to the Prime Minister. The slogan for this event is “Friendship Beyond Frontiers” and the objectives are to strengthen the friendship between the two neighbouring countries and to promote tourism and economic activities of Southern Thailand.

Each side has sent out about 100 participants respectively to take part in the various games such as basketball, mini-marathon, football, VIP football, Chinese chess and golf. With so many participants from Malaysia and other Southern provinces, Betong town was bustling with joy and excitement, and of course business too! During the three days, I heard people communicating in Thai, Malay, English, Indian, Mandarin and some other Chinese dialects. It was just like a small international town! A Malaysian reporter who came here for the first time told me that the Games was more like a carnival rather than a sport event!

I had a bit of adventure and fun of myself too…Besides receiving the Malaysian media and guests, I was invited to assist in the interpretation for some reporters and speakers. Luckily nothing too technical in the speech which was a relief, as I was not too sure of some of the Thai terminologies. I also ran(and hide!) here and there ,taking pictures …catching the natural snapshots of people!

Many people doubt about the situation in Southern Thailand, even though Betong is two hours away from the unrest area and although we do take extra precautions , however, I must say that life still goes on…!!

The Parade

The Malaysian Guests & Malay Children in their traditional costumes

The Cheering Dance & The Colourful Thai

Andaman club is about 30 mins ferry ride away but since it is located in Myanmar, we need to leave the Kingdom and pay a levy to enter the Union of Myanmar. The Andaman club hotel rooms were on offer at 1200 bahts with breakfast thrown in.

If you are NOT into gambling, there is nothing much to do in Andaman club. We are virtually prisoners in this "penal island" as we are not even allowed to walk around island outside the hotel complex. The reasons given by the guards were that they are worried about our safety. There are snakes in the island!

Unlike Poipet casinos, the Andaman club is a high stake casino. To enter into the casino which is located one floor above the lobby, the patron needs to exchange at least 10,000 bahts of chips. We opted to play with the machine at lobby level.

Luckily there is a 18-hole golf course in the Club. At my insistance,the concierge drove us in a car to go around the course to see for ourselves if it is worth paying 1500 bahts for green fees. Golf is really not the main business for this CLUB as we can see that the couse is really run down. There were not a single player in the field. We could see some staff maintaining the course. The consolation is that the scenery is really superb.

Hole #3 is really a challenge

Ferry Jetty at Kawthaung

View from Hilltop Burmese Temple

Hi everyone! I have been routinely reading this excellent blog ever since I was directed to it by a starter web site. Well, I guess it's time I spill the beans and share some of my unusual experiences. I'm sure Richard will be happy to have another writer in his camp:). I hope you all enjoy my first ever blog. I promise to do better the next time!





Let's see...starting from my dawn of time....when was your earliest memory?? I think mine would be at about five. I was living in the countryside in Nakhon Sawan province between two villages inhabited by each side of my splintered family. As you may know, in the LOS back in the mid 60's, it was very unusual (especially in the countryside) that you did not stay with your birth parents. My parents met, got married, had me, and the two families never got along.


My dad's side was poor. He's 25% Chinese and lost his father to the Japanese occupation at the end of WWII. I am told Grandpa B was executed or beheaded. I would love to research this a bit further when I get back next time. Hence, my Grandma B had to raise my Dad and his younger sister alone and under a negative stigma. They barely got by and my father grew up without a father. He did not have the opportunity to get much schooling. Making money to support the family day-by-day came first! This is very much like the farming settings in early America...."Little House on the Prairie"?? Nevertheless, he grew up attending the "Thai School Of Hard Knocks". He became a regional Muay-Thai kick boxer champ in the area...got a motorcycle...and began visiting nearby towns. So, this is how my foot-loose and fancy free Dad found my Mom in a near-by village 40-some odd years ago.





My Mom's family was quite different from Dad's. They were "real" Thais stemming from Sukothai and Kamphaeng Phet with many relatives and land. Mom's father, Grandpa I, was the village head-man and a doctor. He had a clinic right under their two-story Thai house made of teak. I remember rifling through the many drawers of herbal plants, animal parts, and remedies. He had jars of gruesome specimens in formaldehyde solutions that would scare me at night. We had no electricity and running water to speak of. We collected rain water off of the tin corregated roofs. I had an uncle who had a house with a diesel generator across the street. There was a community well about a 100 yards from the house at the base of the mountain by a shrine for water in the dry season.


Whoops! I'm getting distracted...more on country life and schools later I promise! My Mom was the oldest of six children and was “most rebellious”. She, along with her cousin, pretty darn much ran the teen social scene in that small village. Grandpa I had many guns and kept most of the boys at bay. I guess opposites attract, or the bad boy/good girl magic happened. My Dad didn’t give up pursuing Mom, even with a pistol at point blank touching his chest. Get killed or get my Grandpa I’s permission in marriage was his ultimatum. The outcome…as you can read…is why I’m writing to you now. Still, what a shaky way to start! Bye For Now!
Chok Dee Krup!

Komsun

I could’ve sworn I was a Texan in my past life. I love chicken fried steak. I dig country music. I’m quick to adopt a drawl once surrounded by folks who talk that way. I look good in cowboy hat, and feel right at home in cowboy boots.

What all of that has to do with Thailand? I’m getting to that in a moment.

So, today, casual Friday, the one day in this longest work week of the summer (does it feel long to the rest of y’all?) we can wear our jeans, I decided to go a little country. I have on my jeans, cowboy boots, plait shirt—from Thailand, ironically—and put my hair in 2 braids.

Here I am, sitting in my spacious cubicle on 34th floor building in Downtown Los Angeles, possibly the most diverse city in America, working away at my computer, looking like a cute little country bumpkin. An All-American Asian country bumpkin.

What a sight, indeed.

It kind of goes with my name being Oakley Boren thing. When I’m introduced as Oakley Boren, people just kind of have this expression on their faces like, “I didn’t expect to see an Asian chick named Oakley Boren”. Today it’s “I didn’t expect to see an Asian cowgirl named Oakley Boren.” Anyway. Pardon my digression.

I was still looking at the monitor when I saw Random Coworker (RC) stopped by my cubicle. I spotted her on my “rearview mirror” on my computer monitor. Before I could turn around and properly engaged in a chit chat, RC stepped up behind me and got a hold of my braids as if they were a reign on a horse.

She didn’t quite say, “Giddy up, Oaks!” but with the motion she was making with my braids, she might as well just do that. And I didn’t even get a carrot.

True. Not all Westerners know about how Thai people regard our heads as the most respectable part of the body. Many theories and explanations on why we come to value our heads: from the fact that it’s the place where you store your knowledge, and more importantly, that’s where our “Kwan” is.

There is not really one word to describe what Kwan is. It’s like a part of our soul, our spirituality. For example, when someone is frightened, it is said that the kwan has left the body. You can still hear mothers console the toddlers who have been spooked say, Kwan Oey Kwan Ma – Oh, Kwan. Come back, Kwan.

Young people don’t go anywhere near the older people’s heads. You can see in the way people bow low as they pass someone who are sitting, or crawl past them if they’re seated on the floor. Same way with service folks or people of lower social statures. It is disrespectful—and rude—to be taller than older/more respectable people’s head.

I’m usually very forgiving about people who did things not knowingly about my culture. Usually very forgiving about the touching of my head, being the smaller one in the group. But once in a while, I have to explain myself and people would apologize and acknowledge the cultural difference.

But RC here has been to Thailand and known the culture thoroughly. Her husband lived in Bangkok for almost a year, and I believe she was over there for at least a month. She actually touched my head once before and recoiled in horror that she forgot about the head thing. Yet, she still took me by my hair.

I guess today she just forgets that I’m Thai. It happens to the best of us sometimes.

Toto. We’re not in Bangkok any more.

I am trying to lose weight. According to this book I just bought, my BMI needs to go down from 27.3 to about 24.8. I’m not in the health risk zone, but I’m definitely not at my ideal weight. So this book about the Gi diet is pretty straightforward, had lots of recipes, and has a chart that groups foods into red, yellow, or green. I’ve already started excercising regularly for a few months now so if I follow the guidelines in this book, I should be losing a pound a week. It all sounds do-able until…oh jeez, jasmine rice is in the red group!

Rice in any Thai person’s home has to be jasmine rice. I have probably been eating Jasmine rice since I had teeth. It is just unheard of to buy any other type of rice. I had a roommate in college who bought American rice. My mother came to visit, saw this American rice in the cupboard and had an absolute fit. “What is this doing in here? You bought this? You eat this?” I swore to her that I never once ate a single grain of that inferior rice.

Jasmine rice is distinctive, it has a softer texture than other rice and has just the right amount of stickiness to it. Its taste blends perfectly with the flavors of Thai curries, soups or stir-fries. My favorite thing about jasmine rice is the smell. It has such a soft, pleasing smell. It is one of those smells that makes a house feel like a home. I have gone without Jasmine rice before. When I was a student, I spent 3 months as an exchange student in Japan. Japanese people think that Japanese rice is the best in the world. I like Japanese rice and I think it is perfect for sushi, but it is not the best in the world. The Japanese are just, unfortunately, a little misguided because Thai rice is the best in the world.

So Step 2 of this Gi diet is to “clear out the cupboards” of all red- and yellow-light products. I have an unopened 5kg bag of jasmine rice in my cupboard which I guess is going to be donated to the local homeless shelter. I have already bought some basmati rice, which is a green light product (along with wild, brown, and long grain rice). Of course I will never completely eliminate jasmine rice from my diet, but I really want to get into shape so I think that jasmine rice will have to take on a less familiar role in my life. This is worse than the day I realized I had become lactose intolerant. Sad, sad day.

We quickly got onto the Phuket Express Bus, a seat up front, near the door, on the right side.

Our fellow passengers began to load up, a variety of northern Europeans, mostly backpackers, a minimum of locals, mostly carrying large bags and/or boxes of varying size, none smaller than a 20" TV set...

With all bags packed, the full bus, not a seat left empty, the driver appeared with all the elegance and aplomb of a big fat general from Nicaragua.

He sat in the large drivers seat, slightly to the right, a 2' boom box in front of the steering wheel, partially obstructing the view, but only slightly, setting on the elaborately painted and properly ornamented dash.

He shut the door and pulled out of the main terminal at break-neck-speed[bns], obviously he'd trained well at the same driving academy as the taxi driver from the airport and ALL samlor[a 4 wheeled mini vehicle]/tuktuk[a 3 wheeled motorcycle type vehicle] drivers!

The scenic tour of Southern Thailand was rolling by..at about 80mph, could a bus really motivate at speeds over 120kph? This one DID!

The huge Mercedes, honk honking the prescribed 10times per minute, which didn't let up the entire 10hrs run, soon commanded the respect of all in front of it, the locals however needed to make death defying sudden dashes within seconds of eternity, but, all made it to the safety of the other side of the street, usually to just stand there and wait for another fast moving vehicle, hopefully a similar sized bus or large truck to once again see what was on the other side of the street, of course...at the last second.

This death-wish mantra played over and over before my startled eyes the rest of the journey. I prayed for each soul that made the last second jump in front of the massive bus, my prayers were answered, but inside, I wondered if this was in fact their real intention.

The scenic journey was helped, somewhat by the extremely loud music coming from the ghetto blaster on the bus dash, blaring out the King Of Rock N Roll at about 100 decibels, the happy driver continued to honk and swerve the mighty bus at will.

Several hours later, the bus made the first of it's many stops along the road to unload passengers, baggage, but mostly to resupply our Northern European friends with Singha[Thai beer], Mekhong[Thai whiskey] or, in Pattys case, noodles.

I knew if I left the bus, moving at a snails pace, I would stand little chance of returning as my beloved would be moving down the road at 80mph into oblivion, I never left my seat that night, except once when I ventured back, stepping lightly over inebriated limbs to the rear hognam.

It was evident the happy imbibers were mostly passed out by midnight...

As darkness quickly overtook all, the "scenic" part of the journey ended, hmmmm, I would see nothing until the sun arose in 6hrs...

Along about 1AM, Elvis began to sing rather lazily, the batteries in the ghetto blaster slowly, sadly winding down to a mere slur of the King Of Rock N Rolls voice, it must have been the fat Elvis.

Mercively, the music completely stopped around 3AM, I actually fell asleep for 30minutes, leaving the health and safety of those on board, entirely to the driver, keeping Pattys head balanced on my shoulder still, the noodles had taken effect on her around 11PM....

After nodding off, I knew as long as I stayed awake, I could save her and ALL the passengers and cargo on the bus, when the driver passed out and ran off the road...

The sunlight squeaked thru the jungle around 5:30AM, I could now see various small villages, the passing Pagoda, and then over the Sarasan[?]bridge onto Phuket Island.

A few of the passengers were waiting in queue by the entrance of the hognam,but now, thoroughly clogged and when the door opened, it put the humble durian to shame.

We swerved into the Phuket bus terminal and screeched to a halt with-in a meter of the next bus.

Our front seats afforded us a quick exit[escape], as the mostly drowsy, hung over Northern European travelers bumped and jostled to figure out first, where they were, second, where the hognam was, and lastly, how to disembark carrying each other and baggage,etc.

Once outside the bus, a hoard of samlor drivers surrounded us, each with MANY colored pamphlets and brochures showing off the island delights to be offered.

We were particularly entranced with the pix of Ao Patong, Patong Beach, a sunny, horseshoe shaped perfect bay, it looked like the South Pacific, with its coconut groves to the sea, small rice paddy behind the very few bungalows and the tall green covered rubber tree'd mountains on 3 sides.

The blue Andaman Sea called us!

We loaded my wheelchair and one large suitcase in the samlor, the friendly driver peeling rubber as he broad slide around a few buses, many pedestrians and those vile slower moving vehicles, tuktuks, bicyclist,etc all the while honking his horn to let all know that we have divine right to road and they shouldn't empead our progress to Ao Patong!

Downtown Phuket town was rather busy, but the driver made easy headway through the throngs and traffic, the flat part of town easy work for his great skills at BNS.

The countryside suddenly went from almost flat terrain to San Francisco-steep hills, actually more like small mountains. The over loaded and extremely under powered samlor still instilled on his superiority of the highway, honking lesser vehicles, those walking, to either go faster or get out of the way!

Our skilled driver finally made it to the crest of the first steep hill, turned back towards us, a wise smile on his face, as he turned OFF the engine, saying something like "save gasoline" as the 3 wheeled cart kamikazed down the steep hill towards certain disaster!

We held on, as he swerved and twisted the samlor, dodging the various slower vehicles or walkers, or those that used their brakes or gears to slow the decent.

At the bottom, he quickly clicked the engine back on, powering up, never missing a shift as we slowly slogged up an even steeper hill this time.

Once again at the crest of the 2nd hill, he again turned off the engine and slide down at an even faster pace than the first hill!

He must have had the samlor go over 50mph as he pointed to the burnt out bus in the ditch on the side of the road, the jungle slowly taking over what remained, saying "that one not so good" and laughing madly as we screamed like schoolgirls on a roller coaster...

Bottoming out, he again switched the engine back on for an even steeper hill ahead. We went so slow up that hill, I knew I could go faster in my wheelchair.

At the top of the hill, we could see a quick glimpse of paradise beyond. The blue Andaman Sea and the green coconut groves. We dare not exhale too quickly though, because he again switched off the engine, this last hill was the steepest yet, it seemed a mountain goat might balk at the edge, but our driver steered us onward and over the precipice , as the wind blew through our hair, we could see a 90 degree hairpin turn just ahead, he finally used his brakes, just enough that only 2 of the 3 screeching wheels were needed to coast around the bend, down below straight for the Wat.

At the Wat, the driver let go of the steering apparatus, Wai'd, and then clicked the engine back on as he slid us to the right quickly and towards a straight FLAT road ahead. We could see, thru the thick palm grove, the blue of the awaiting Andaman Sea!

Our first bungalow, by the stagnant and mosquito infested pond, just didn't seem to have that charm we were looking for, the next bungalow just a few hundred meters south along Patong Beach was somewhat nicer, a lot cleaner, full of happy Scandinavians, all with the 1 liter Singhas safely in hand, we asked for a bungalow with screens on the windows, air conditioning and hot water showers, they were still laughing as we drove yet another 100 meters to Valentine Bungalow.

The small Chinaman, Mr Singh properly informed us that there were NO air conditioned bungalows on Patong Beach, or ANY other beach in Phuket and hot water showers could be had at the big, expensive[500baht a day]Patong Beach Hotel we'd passed a few clicks back or the ultra fancy Pearl Hotel in Phuket town.

But, there were screens on the windows, we took it immediately.

There were two rates, not counting the "local" rate which we didn't know about then: Short time rate: 50 baht per day, Long Stay rate: a stay of 30 days @ 30 baht per day. We took the long term rate!

We paid the driver, Mr Singh paid the driver, then we moseyed over to the little open air cafe next to the bungalow, bought the driver a beer, we had a delicious GreenSpot, Patty some noodles, and we gave the driver a pack of Gringo cigarettes.

Looking out at the blue sea, we were overjoyed to be alive and in such a beautiful place, we were even happier to be out of the samlor!

to be continued...

I tried a couple times at the weekend to go and see Tom Yum Goong. But, every show was full up for several hours ahead. I know there was a lot of interest to this follow-up to Ong Bak which was released two years ago, but I didn't think the movie theatres would be this packed. This is despite the fact that there were shows starting every fifteen minutes or so! I suppose there wasn't much else to watch. All other new releases have been delayed until next week. However, a couple of days ago I was finally able to go and see the movie.

The basic story of Ong Bak was that the head of a Buddha image was stolen from a village in Thailand. Our hero, Ton Jaa, is sent off in hot pursuit. He catches up with the culprits and has a big showdown with them. After a lot of fighting he retrieves what was stolen and returns a happy man. The basic story of Tom Yum Goong is... basically the same. Just exchange the Buddha image for an elephant. It makes you wonder why they took two years developing the script and shooting the movie. News just out is that the next movie will involve a sacred sword (which is probably stolen and our hero races off to save it...).

OK, so the story-line was a bit disappointing. But then, most people went for Tony Jaa and the action scenes. I certainly wasn’t disappointed. This guy can certainly kick, thrust and leap tall buildings. The only time I saw him trying to catch his breath was during that long 4 minute take where they go from the ground floor to the fourth floor in one go. I must admit it was impressive to keep a fight going that long and to have a camera follow in a continuous shot. I wonder how many times they had to do that. However, there was more than one time in this shot that he looked like he was feeling a little light-headed and he had trouble grabbing onto some of the bad guys and swinging them around. Luckily for him they were just actors and they had to fall whether he pushed them hard or not.

But, I shouldn’t be critical of Tony Jaa as he has some amazing abilities. In fact, I feel like comparing him to Bruce Lee. If, one day, he decides to follow the well-trodden path to Hollywood he will certainly go down in history as one of the screen legends in the martial arts department. The only thing that is keeping him back are the awful scripts and the amateurish filmmakers.

Ong Bak was popular around the world. It had Thai rustic charm and a lot of action and fight scenes that we don’t often see. You could tell those stunt guys were really hurt. There was no safety nets or digital images. It was the real thing and it was refreshing. On the other hand, Tom Yum Goong made the mistake of setting the majority of the movie in Australia. Obviously they were thinking that this was needed in order to be acceptable to an international audience. For me, the best part of the movie was the first section, which took place in Thailand. Everything after that was a joke. These days there is a lot of interest in Thailand as a country and the filmmakers should have had more faith that people would have watched the movie just because it is set in Thailand. To their credit they threw some Thai culture into the pot by showing some scenes depicting Songkran. But then later they fall to the stereotype that Thai women are only good as prostitutes and sex slaves!

In the second half some of the Thai actors attempt to speak English. Most notable, of course, was Thai comedian Mom Jokmok. His English was atrocious and it was obvious he had no idea what he was saying. I wonder if he had an English coach or not. I for one was glad there were Thai subtitles as I had no idea what he was trying to say most of the time. Of course I found him funny as I know who he is. But, I wonder whether foreign audiences seeing him like this for the first time will laugh or not.

What about the rest of the cast in Australia? Well, it makes me wonder where they found some of the actors in Australia. Just because you are a native speaker it doesn’t mean you can act. And why did they choose an “Australian” tv reporter that spoke such bad English? I have a feeling there was no-one overseeing the English parts of the movie who could actually speak English. The whole thing was just a mess; bad script, bad delivery of lines, and bad acting.

Overall the action scenes was what carried the movie. However there were two scenes in particular that just didn’t work for me. The boat chase scene had so much potential when I saw a few shots of it in the trailer. But, the final result was a messy tangle of bad direction and poor editing. The whole thing was confusing. Then there was the fight scene in the warehouse with extreme sport enthusiasts taking on Tony Jaa with fluorescent lighting tubes! What? Was this supposed to be Star Wars lightsabers? Oh yes, there was another scene that just went on and on and on. A bit like the Kill Bill scene where she kills all those people in the restaurant. They just keep coming and coming. It was the same in Tom Yum Goong with a never-ending loop from the sound department of over the top bone-crunching sounds.

I am amazed that movie has already been sold abroad. Have the distributors seen the movie already? Or did they buy it only on the strength of the first one? If they haven’t seen it then theyhave just made a bad mistake. I suppose they could re-dub some of the scenes and cleam up some of the bad edits. But, they would have to do quite a bit of re-shooting to help scenes like the boat chase. Then there are the blatant ad placements. The M150 energy drink was obviously one of the major sponsors. We could see that as we had a few lingering close-ups of a billboard during the boat chase. Then there was another scene where famous Thai singer Sek Loso is standing right in front of a shot opening a bottle of M150. Our hero was behind him saying something on the phone. I have no idea what he was saying as I was so distracted by seeing Loso! If you didn’t know who he was you probably would wonder why this person took up so much of the frame. Much like I felt when Tony Jaa bumps into someone at the airport. He gives him a double take and then moves on. It was obviously an in-joke as you don’t see that person again. I wasn’t the only person puzzled as I could hear several people nearby asking who was that. I am guessing it was Jackie Chan.

Overall I give this movie a 3 out of 5 which I think is generous. I am only doing that because of Tony Jaa. Without him it would have been a bomb. With him and some American filmmakers it could easily have been a classic.

I'm sure that everybody has some type of 'life list' of one sort or another. It is usually a list of certain things that a person wishes to accomplish before a certain point in their life. A young entrepeneur wants to make his first million by age 30; or a sports fanatic wishes to see a game in every ballpark in the league. Less lofty goals, but important to that person nonetheless, could be such things as meeting all of their most beloved movie stars, or reading every book written by their favorite author.

Many people share the same goal of visiting certain parts of the world. Some people are even more specific, and they wish to view a certain site within a particular city or country. These happen to be the contents of one of my 'life lists'.

My list is not long, nor is it my only list. The first sites on my list that I got to cross off were The Pyramids of Egypt and The Sphinx. I visited those wonders of the world in 1989 and actually, while crawling inside one of the pyramids, I came down with an infection in my elbow that nearly did me in. It stemmed from a scrape I suffered in one of the narrow passageways. It's an interesting story, but one more aptly told on Egyptian-Blogs.com (is there such a site?)

One down....

Anyways, I digress. My short list of must-see attractions, in no particular order are 1) Machu Pichu in Peru; 2) Angkor Wat in Cambodia; and 3) The Taj Mahal in Agra, India. That last site, The Taj Mahal, is almost haunting to me. I hear that one who views this wonder of the world by the full moon is never quite the same. I truly reckon that a visit to any part of India will leave a person changed forever. The same can surely be said of our beloved Thailand..and that brings me to the subject of my blog.

Dear readers, if you have a list similar to mine, I'd like you to add a site to it. I had not known of it prior to my visit, but if I had, such a majestic, beautiful place would be a "must see". I can't say that I stumbled upon this place by accident, but I did not know that I was going to see it. I think having it sprung upon me like a serendipitous jack-in-the-box was a better way to introduce me to this place.

The place that I am writing about is Wat Rongkhun in Chiang Rai. This temple is no ordinary venue (why does Murray Head come to mind?). It was not finished when I visited it in April of 2004. It was still being plastered together by the artist, Chalermchai Kositpipat. When I went there, I sat on the steps and actually watched him molding a portion of the wat out of white mortar.

I'm dwarfed by beauty.

Pon and I rode into Chiang Rai that hot April day on a trip that I thought was based on my need for a decent coffee fix. The packet of Nescafe in a cup of hot water, the fare offered at the only market in Bahn Bong Chang, was not cutting it (I'm sure some of you have heard of us Seattleites and our coffee habits). Halfway to town Pon took over the helm of the motorbike and steered us into the parking lot of Wat Rongkhun. When I first saw it, and not to sound trite, I was awe-struck. This pure white temple, glittering with the millions of tiny mirrors imbedded in the albino mortar, rising out of the parched ground was nothing that I was prepared for. The first thought in my mind was.."Taj Mahal!!".

My first view from the parking lot.

The Taj Mahal is an entirely different structure in the most basic architectural sense, but the feelings it invoked in me on first sight were what I believed I would feel upon seeing the Taj Mahal. This wat is only a couple of years old (since first started), but I know that it will be on many peoples' 'must see' lists for many centuries to come.

Hello all!

I haven’t blogged in ages! I went to Bangkok.

I have been back in Australia for about 2 weeks now and I am still missing Bangkok so much.

My story..

I was very excited to go to the airport. I couldn’t sleep all that night thinking about my friends in Bangkok… I got onto the plane, with my grandpa, aunty, uncle and two cousins, and we were on our way!
The plane trip was very long and my cousins and we occupied ourselves with game boys and an ipod.

I arrived in Bangkok late at night and was very grateful to be off the plane. I hopped into a bus and made my way to the hotel and went to sleep.
The next day I awoke to a beautiful and warm day. I got dressed and went straight to see my friends. Some of my friends are deaf, so I try to use sign language.

Bangkok hadn’t changed, except for the new MRT- an ultra modern system of underground train travel.

The beautiful day quickly turned into grey skies! Before I knew it, it was pouring and I was running home from the BTS station. It rains very heavily in Bangkok!
Everyday, I went shopping, and after that, I’d go and see my friends…

We went on a rice barge tour. It was very interesting and informative. The tour guide explained about Thailand’s economy. The scenery was beautiful. I threw bread into the water and millions of carp came to eat it!!!

I went to every shopping centre around Bangkok. That’s what I love to do!!

I had such a great time in Bangkok. I miss the food and all my friends there. Since I have been back, I have asked my work for more hours a week. Now I am working 37.5 hours per week, so I can go back to Thailand soon!

Pics coming soon!!

Be very prepared, my friends, very prepared. "It Ain't Easy" as the song goes. As a professional educator in American public schools with 29 years of teaching experience in grades 1 thru 12, I thought, "piece of cake".
Keep in mind the fact that, developmentally, an 8 year old is an 8 year old and a 12 year old is a 12 year old, etc. no matter where in the world they live. Smiling, laughing and playing are all part of their nature. The difference between Thailand school children and American school children is the cultural development. The politeness, the kindness and the respect I felt from the school children I met in Thailand is far greater than the American classroom ( a future blog ).

Getting back to the classroom experience, I was given the opportunity by my gracious host, Mr.. Stevesuphan, to observe his 5th and 6th grade English classes ( each class is one hour long ). Believe me when I say my jaw dropped down to the floor as I entered the classroom and saw 45, yes, 45 smiling faces staring up at me and 45 voices in unison saying "sawatdee krap (ka)". I thought, no way is any instruction going to take place in this crowd. However, as the hour went by, I observed Mr. Stevesuphan conduct the most awesome conversational language lesson I have ever seen.

His voice controlled the classroom. Even through the distractions, me being the biggest distraction as I carried on small group conversations, Mr. Steve had pairs of students give their conversational presentations to the class from the front of the classroom. The nice thing was that everyone applauded for the two conversationalists after each presentation. Everything was based on the positive as I left the class with feelings of elation in my heart.

After a quiet evening and a good nights rest ( wink, wink, Mr. Steve ) I learned that I would teach the 2nd grade class that morning. How hard can that be, I thought, as I mentally prepared a lesson on the ABC's and some small rhyming words that would show vowel and consonant sounds (hat, cat, rat, fat, etc.). It's only for an hour, I thought, and that will fly by before I know it. Well, those little ones were a lot smarter than I thought. They breezed through the ABC's and even sang the ABC song. So much for that being part of the lesson as I glanced at my watch and noticed only three minutes had passed. Panic set in when I realized that I had 57 more minutes to occupy these young minds educationally. Certainly the rhyming words and letter sounds will eat the time away. Nope! These little boys and girls were smart. I began to sweat on top of sweat. I knew I was boring myself, so what must I be doing to these children. Thank goodness the Filipino teacher Ms. Melanie stayed with me in the classroom and even though Mr. Steve said he would not be present, I was relieved to see him slotted very quietly in the back of the room. I was saved by Ms. Melanie as she smoothly transitioned the class into her prepared lesson for the next half hour.

To save some of my dignity I will tell you that for the past 15 years I have been a high school administrator and out of the instructional classroom. But, even though I felt that I tripped and stumbled through the lesson, I felt the old, but familiar joy and happiness in my heart from my days of teaching. These children were beyond my expectations in both mind and spirit.

So, you want to teach in Thailand?
1. Go in with an open mind and a sincere love for children
2. Be very, very patient
3. Know what you are doing
4. Be prepared in your lessons
5. Have a working knowledge of the Thai language and a good dictionary
The rewards are enormous and beyond words.

Thank you Mr. Steve and Ms. Melanie for this life experience. Especially I thank the children.

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More at www.ThaiSchoolLife.com

Hands down without doubt the thing I love best about Thailand is the language. Listening to spoken Thai and reading written Thai can even edge out a deliciously so-spicy-will-kill-a-normal-human plate of pad gra pao from my affections.

Thai language is such a beautiful language and really, when you think about it, such a simple language. In Thai you can say the same thing in two words that in proper English would take a dozen or more words sometimes. Example? Thai: Bpai Nai? Meaning: Where are you going? In Proper English: I say old chap where are you popping off to this evening? It’s no wonder Thai kids may sometimes not be thrilled to learn the old pasah Ankrit! ;)
Richard and Steven - My apologies for a little poke in the English ribs there lol

On the other hand Thai is one of the only languages I know where you can say the same word in only a slightly different way 5 times and come up with 5 completely different words like the Thai tongue twister I posted last time maai mai mai mai mai ไม้ใหมไม่ไหม้มยั้ (meaning "New wood doesn't burn, does it?").

Be that as it sometimes may when I hear someone speaking Thai my reaction is automatic. I start to physically draw my body into the conversation as if I could absorb the language by osmosis. If I am sitting down like in my Thai class at Wat Thai I start to lean forward more, elbows resting on the table, my head resting in my hands with all the rapt attention of a spellbound child. I listen to the rhythm and cadence of the Thai words that flow out gently like wind or water. Especially when listening to the monks talk about Buddhism in such a peaceful relaxed tone unlike anything, no matter how poetic, that can be said in English or dare I say any other language.

I would swear a look of dopey puppy love crosses over my face. When this happens I wonder if my Thai teacher, Phrapalad Ampol, must think I am his most attentive student or maybe I have a crush on him! ;)

It fascinates me that classic Thai is like a lyrical poem of metaphor, like the epic Ramayana or even the true name of the City of Angels Bangkok. But Thai is also much like modern English in that it can speak its own language within a language in a code of slang and innuendo.

This is a level of true Thai that you will never learn in Thai language books or by listening to Thai audio tapes. It’s only by getting verbally 'down and dirty' on the mean streets of Bangkok or 'sweaty and gritty' with the hill tribes and farmers outside the city. I can understand this even though I have never been to Thailand before, the only Thailand I know from books, tapes and CD's stacked up around me here so I know I don't carry the same Thai 'street cred' as most of the veterans here Thai-Blogs. Still this makes sense to me because it is the same way here in America. Different cultures all speaking their own language of solidarity. But I am getting off the point here..

Just as fascinating and a heck of a lot easier to learn is the Thai language of the heart. Metaphors have been a part of written and spoken language since the time of the Egyptians but I've never run across a language before that expresses the heart and emotions in so many ways and can be compressed into so few words yet once you learn them can envelope you in such a universal understanding of feeling.

Therefore one of my favorite books on Thai language is Heart Talk: Say What You Feel In Thai by Christopher G. Moore and available at Richards school bookshop. Written by a farang no less, Heart Talk is quite a comprehensive list of the many expressions of 'Jai' ใจ, or Thai heart. The book lists from A to Z about 450 heart phrases or words to express over 400 moods and feelings. And you thought learning 44 consonant and 32 complete vowels of the Alphabet was hard? Pish-tosh!

The heart phrases, perhaps ‘phases’ being an equally important label, in this book cover everything from the ‘absentminded heart’ to the ‘zen heart’ including the most common and some of the pretty obscure along the way.

Each chapter usually lists a dozen or more Heart Talk expressions for categories such as Good Times, Hard Times and Condemnations, Heart Talk in Relationships and in Society. As well as expressions for Heart Talk Warfare, Body Talk, Self-Control, Perception, Heart Talk Choice and Romance. Whew! Could anything possibly be left out?

Therefore without further ado is my short list of some of the best, most intriguing (to me) or flat out odd (me again) from the list.

Heart Talk for the Good Times

Pleased Heart

Kruem Jai ครึ้มใจ or Kruem ok Kruem Jai ครึ้มอกครึ้มใจ

When someone gives a special gift or bestows a favor, the one receiving feels a sense of pleasure or ‘please heart’. This is like whenever I get more books or CD's from Thailand, yeppers I'm always pleased about that!

View It!

Sawat-dii kha! I'm glad to be back in Thailand – well, at least virtually, for the time being. I stumbled upon this blog a few weeks ago, now I'm spending my evenings reading the archives, and.... maybe I have a few interesting stories to tell or ideas to share....

I'm a 29-year-old Hungarian, at the moment living in my country of birth, hesitating between trying to get settled back to my old life as a teacher of English in Budapest, and flying back to Asia.... and it's harder than I thought it would be.

My journey started four years ago.... or maybe way back. I have always felt like an alien here. From my early childhood, I kept saying to my mum, "I wanna go home, I wanna go home" – even when we were actually at home. Stupid as it may sound.... but now I have the feeling that I wasn't initially meant to be a European, just something got horribly mixed up when I was born.... I first had a chance to go to Thailand four years ago. I had absolutely no time to prepare or read anything about what I was going to experience, and it turned out to be the shock of my life: finally I was at home. Well, I couldn't escape the usual pitfalls for newcomers, being taken on tuktuk rides to fancy shops and having my money stolen during an overnight bus trip.... but I was learning quickly. The six-week holiday was over in about three days I guess, and I found myself crying onboard a plane back home to cold and unfriendly Europe.

I spent the next nine months trying to get back, but it just wasn't meant to be, all I managed to find was a teaching job in Taiwan. But at least it was in the right direction, just a few hours away, it can't be that different, after all, it's Asia.... well, sort of, it turned out. The next year and a half working with Chinese preschoolers was an eye-opener, it changed my view of the world, of culture, of languages, I had a chance to find out who I was, who I wanted to be.

(That's me and my little "monkey" Regie)

I loved teaching and my students like I had never done before. I wanted to make a difference.... do something meaningful.... make friends with people.... live life to the full, with all the joy, all the sorrow that is on my path.... that was the lesson (sounds cheesy, but.... only back here, I guess). I quit my PhD studies, I had had enough of theoretical stuff, meaningless research, and teaching dull undergraduates back home in the previous years, instead I got out my backpack, and spent some more time travelling around Thailand and Laos on my own, trying to find a job underway, in the meantime, hoping to be able to settle down somewhere for one more year. I didn't mean to return to Europe for good, I was absolutely sure that if I ever have kids of my own, I want them to grow up in a Thai community. But lightning struck in the form of an online love affair, for a twist, and I returned home.

A German guesthouse owner in Chiang Mai had warned me: "if you have managed for over a year in this part of the world, and you have liked it, you'll never be able to fit back in Europe", that's what he said. I had culture shocks day in, day out for sure. It's absolutely in vain to try to convince my boyfriend to fly to Thailand, even for a holiday, he's afraid, he needs stability. I'm torn between love for Thailand and love for a man.... something I would never have imagined was possible at all. He came up with a plan: he decided to take a job somewhere upcountry for a while, and urged me to return to Thailand in the meantime on my own, to learn Thai massage in Chiang Mai or to get a short-term teaching job or volunteer to take part in rebuilding Ko Phi Phi, whatever, so that I can calm down and make a decision about the future.

That's where I'm stuck at the moment. Who knows if I will have the courage to leave everything behind once again and plunge into life in Thailand.... but I have lots of memories and stories and experiences and opinions anyway to fill a blog or two here, bits and pieces of the journeys taken in the past four years, journeys of the heart, journeys of the mind.... I hope I can fit in here, I hope I can share a few ideas and stories of interest in the near future.

That's for an introduction now. Sorry about the long post.... I'll try to keep it shorter next time.

Greetings to all from Central Europe
Betti

Do I know what product I'm selling? No.
Do I know what I'm doing today? No.
But I'm here and I'm gonna give it my best shot.

Sawasdee,

Last month, I was at this uber-private "share" party (which was a blogworthy event on its own, remind me to tell you about it if I ever run short of ideas). My friend K introduced me to one of the big dogs there, owner of FHM (Thailand). He looks at me and says, yeah we can use you for something, give us your number and we'll have someone call you on Monday. I guess I should have asked him which Monday, because it was actually last Tuesday when they finally called to offer me a fashion advertorial for the September issue, shooting on Friday. Cool.

I lobbied hard for my friend Kari with E&L Modelling, a willowy 5'11 ex-volleyball player from Colorado to be my counterpart on the shoot. We were both hopeful for the chance to work together, but she was doubtful because she "wasn't an FHM-type girl." I asked what she meant, because girl is hot. She smirked and she pointed to her less-than-ample bosom.

After a false alarm ("Yeah, Kari is booked with you. Uh...no, actually it isn't her.") it turns out that I would actually be working with Maggie, a different girl from E&L. Seeing how they both have two syllables and some vowel similarities, I can see how you could confuse the names...if they were uttered underwater.

I called Kari to tell her the bad news and mentioned I would be working with some girl named Maggie. She relayed the information to her roommate Sophie, and I heard a burst of laughter over the phone. I asked what's the deal. Still giggling, she said that I would find out and tell her all about it when I was done. Hmmm...

View It!

A quiz show from Thai television

After thinking up me last blog on bizarre, yet true stories from the ‘Land of Noodle Soup and Nose-jobs’ I was leftover with a wad more just asking to be written about. So, not needing them to fall out of mind and never be written about I’m taking the opportunity once again, to gives yous all, a brief read about some of the shadier stories from the past.

The Thais have no quibbles about having a right laugh at the foreigners’ expense in regards to speaking the Thai language. But, a bout of revenge needn’t be sought after, after it was revealed to the media just last week that our Thai buddies are pretty defunct at learning English (as if you hadn't already realized, with no disrespect of course). On an average score of English tests out of nine ASEAN countries, our Thai counterparts came in eighth just one above the Cambodians. Of course, the local news stations and reporters had a whole host of excuses along the lines of 'We are all flabbergasted at the stupidness of the scoring methods used' and pledged that 'Thailand ought to have at least got in the top five'. Now, what planet are they living on?

Anyway, back to a few weird but wonderful stories. Now, Thais just love their game shows and one extremely popluar one has to be ‘The Millionaire Game Show’ that is broadcast every evening from Monday to Friday. Personally, I used to like the show but it has turned into a bit of a farce to say the least. The first couple of questions asked to the contestants are something ridiculously easy like ‘How many days are there in a week?’ 5,6,7 or 8. But then, just when you think the contestant is gonna score a decent amount of cash the next question is along the lines of ‘What is the name of the King of Bhutan’s eldest brother?'

Well, most of the folks on this show look pretty brainy but I’ve seen them flunk on the easiest of questions, darned easy. Then, a couple of years ago, we had one contestant who looked as if she had came straight out of a durian plantation. Well, the old undernourished dearie didn’t even need to think about any of the questions as she answered them all like a piece of doddle and unbelievably hit the jackpot of a million baht. Well, the quizmaster looked more surprised than her who was completely straightfaced throughout the whole ordeal and sure enough, she hit national headlines. In fact, the producers just didn't believe that this country bumpkin could have seriously ‘fluked’ all the answers and ordered an enquiry. In came to light that there was a computer hitch-up and the correct answer (a,b,c or d) flashed on her screen for every question asked. When the woman was asked by the reporters whether it was true, she replied ‘Well, yes”. She hadn’t yet been paid her jackpot prize but the police were called in anyway and she was actually arrested for supposedly trying to ‘scam the show’. The nation's folks were up in arms at the hard justice dealt and after the media had latched on to her sad story, she was soon released with no charges brought. What a fiasco!

This was not the first time the show has been in the news. One former cursed contestant was seriously arrested along with a couple of corrupt counterparts once, as it was found out, after he had won the jackpot, that his fraudulent friends in the audience were all hooked up to these signalling devices. Therefore, when the contestant didn’t know an answer, his friends would send the answer to this little vibrating device hooked to his leg.

At lot of our buddies in the country are re-knowned for their ‘cheating abilities’ and that doesn’t mean leaving out ‘scam yer family too’! As I’ve said a hundred times before, the upcountry Thais just luv the national lottery and over the years the newspapers have been full of nauseatingly true stories of fake winners.

Just a couple of months ago, a ‘supposed’ winner was running around her village, somewhere in the middle of the jungle showing off so-called official documentation from the national lottery office stating ‘We are delighted to notify you that you can come and collect yer huge winnings next Wednesday at our HQ on Rachadamnoern Avenue’. Her whole village was up in arms celebrating as that meant lots of free parties hosted by her. Of course, she wasn’t able to collect the money for a week or so, so she ran around borrowing stacks of cash to hold a series of buffet parties and even buy herself a new motorbike and a few baht of gold in the meantime. Time went by, and the district chief on becoming rather suspicious on why she hadn’t collected her winnings yet, called up the national lottery office for verification. ‘Absolutely no winner from that village’ came the reply down the telephone and it came to light that this supposed winner had completely made the whole thing up and scammed not just her neighbours of money, but her mum, dad, brothers, sisters and even her poor old grannie of 94.

Perhaps, she’s still thinking up some more devious plans now, from behind bars.

Then, there was the story I remember of one certain husband-to-be. Wanting to marry the ‘love of his life’ it was decided by the girl’s parents that a dowry of 70,000 baht was to be paid. Sure, the guy had no problems with finding that amount of cash and the wedding day was set. Then, on the actual day of the wedding the groom had gone missing! ‘What has happened to him?’ all the guests and bride wondered. He was found later in the morning with his arms tied behind his back, sporting a couple of nasty black eyes. The poor bridegroom had been mugged of the entire dowry money of 70,000 baht! ‘What a darned pity!’ the family thought. The parents on feeling sorry for the couple married her off regardless of dowry or not.

Very soon after, a little grade 2 boy from the local primary school informed his teacher of some very peculiar antics that he had witnessed the week before. 'I saw the very funny thing near me house, had one silly man punch himself in the face for no reason and his friend come to tie him up just for the fun of it’. Word got around and our unscrupulous husband friend here was soon down the local cop station admitting that he had intrepidly made the whole scenario up. He just hadn’t enough dowry cash to marry his darling. Luckily for the wife, they hadn’t registered the marriage yet and he was kicked out of her village never to be seen again.

Then, I remember the shockingly enviable story of the man last year who got married to two women at the same time. Believe it or not, the story went like this (lots of pics all over the newspapers as proof!). This stud of a handsome guy had got engaged to his girlfriend of a few years but just before they were about to be married he had also fallen in love with this other darling of his. Anyway, our extremely brave fellow here cofessed to his fiancee his love for this other girl. Well, his fiancee who must have been in right darned love with him, replied ‘Nevermind, just marry us both!’ Incredibly, the two girls along with their families accepted this and they were both married off to him at the same time. I wonder how the sleeping arrangements went. I can certainly, NOT imagine that happening in my hometown! Of course, by law you are only allowed to certify marriage with one spouse, so I wonder which one his beauties he chose.

Well, we all know that our nation's ladies just love sticking on a bitta make-up, dressing up like Barbie and flirting their eyes and so the country has a whole selection of beauty contests for them to take part in. We have the annual Miss Songran, Miss Loy Kratong, Miss Motorshow, Miss Anti-wrinkle Cream, Miss Elephant Jumbo and Miss Smelly Preserved Fish...just for starters. Well, just last year one of these 'big' winners won as usual, a stack-a-cash, a free vacation and a motorbike and went on for the next couple of days to give interviews to a flurry of TV stations and magazines. That was until, a couple of angry women called up the newspapers to verify that this so-called winner, had been in fact, married.

These 'grassers' from her hometown were in fact relatives of her former husband who had since married some other woman. 'She'll have to be disqualified' it was decided by the judges, only for the winner to burst into tears and to confess to the nation that 'Yes, i used to be married (when i was 16!) but we never registered the marriage'. That means of course, by law, she never was officially married. The judges had realized by this time, that there wasn't much they could do. But they disqualified her anyway. It was decided (along with The Ministry of Culture!) that to be entitled to be called a certain.... 'Miss' in Thailand, meant you had to be 'a pure woman' and so our winner was disqualified for 'having been with a man before'. As for all the other 80 or so contestants, they were all judged to be sweet and innocent.

Okay, it’s that time of the week for me to post again. I’m happy to read all the feedback from those who took the time to read my previous blogs and that there are others who are interested or can relate. Reading some of the feedback from fathers of young half-Thais reminds me of the family I went with to last year’s London Thai Festival. *Rupa, my mother’s acquaintance, came from Yasothon in Isaan and married a much older British man named *Andrew. He already had grown children from a previous marriage, and I knew his son *Davy from school, although we had no other association aside from that.

Rupa and Andrew had a baby daughter, *Sady, so their family was already making slight comparisons between Sady and me. Davy’s sister even saying “Yeah, you are both half” while taking friendly glances at us. Sady was a cute little girl, with thin light brown hair, brown eyes and cutely dressed. She was quiet at times and would happily smile back if one smiled at her. I thought on a few occasions “Hey, she reminds me of someone?” before recognizing that she kind of resembled a mini-me. I mentioned this to Andrew at one point when he said “Yeah I can see that” which is when I realized that they got the picture too and that they were also paying attention to my behaviour and personality.

Rupa and Sady had come to visit us one day and my mother had told me afterwards that Rupa had approached her, while I was playing with Sady in my room, asking about how my mother raised me as a child. What her treatment was towards me because she thought I acted more like a respective Thai girl, than a more-seen-than-not British/Western girl, perhaps, doing things like smoking, drugs, hanging with the wrong crowd or wearing revealing clothing, in other words, 'being immoral or disrespectful'. She had already become worried that Sady would grow up behaving like the girls she’d seen walking down the streets.

To this, my mother answered that this was all my own doing. (Lucky for me) that was just how I am and always have been and that I am clever enough to know what I’m doing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m flawless or a saint, lol, but it’s true. I feel and act somewhat 'different’ to some Westernized girls, positively I mean. In respect to ‘being Thai’, parents like Rupa are worried that their children will be influenced by today’s or tomorrow’s society they live in, that is not always pleasant, and go down the wrong path, especially, since Thailand is very influenced by Western culture and that there are some Thai teens becoming somewhat ‘un-Thai’ these days.

Having respect and good morals (most of the time) doesn’t only apply to Thai culture but it is something I’ve learnt is highly impressive, to Thais and non-Thais, in every day life. I think for those parents that are worried about raising their own children, or moreover young half-Thais, it is already good if they are raising them in both cultures and set good examples of respect but I think it’s also good to leave room for them to know themselves and the rights and wrongs. In my family, it can be difficult because we are living abroad and neither my father nor brother are as interested or know the ‘Thai ways’ as some others but at least there was room for me to learn about it eventually if I so wanted to.

My British husband really likes spicy food. When we were dating, we went to Thailand for a holiday and met some of my friends for dinner. He told one of my friends that he wanted to order spicy shrimp salad and my friend said, "You know it is going to be pretty spicy." He replied, "Oh, I love it spicy." So my friend, with a smirk on his face, said to the waiter, "He likes it spicy so make it spicy." When the salad came, it was very spicy, but my husband ate it and enjoyed it. I was eating it too and after 3 bites had tears streaming down my face prompting another friend, sitting at the other end of the table, to shout, "Hey! I know that you have missed us, but there is no need to get over emotional na ja!"

Back in England, there was a Thai restaurant that we used to frequent. There was a time when my husband and I were both suffering from colds and when we are ill, we love to eat tom yum soup. We would order tom yum at this restaurant and ask them to make it spicy. At the end of the meal, as we left the restaurant the manager always asked how it was and my husband always answered, "not spicy enough". Each time we went, the chef made our tum yum a little spicier and each time, my husband said at the end "not spicy enough". Finally, one time the waitress went to the kitchen to get our soup and I heard her say, "Are you sure...?" The chef replied "just bring it out to him". As the waitress walked by the manager, he looked at the tray she was carrying and said "Oi, have a pitcher of water on hand for them!" The waitress brought the soup over and said, "Okay, this time it is spicy for sure". I looked down at the bowls and the top of the soup was covered with a thick layer of red. I turned around and saw the chef standing, with his arms crossed, at the door of the kitchen watching us. My husband grinned. He loved the soup. When we left, he said, "Perfect!"

If you visit a roadside noodle stall in Thailand you will see on the tables a small basket with four jars. These are the condiments that you can add to your noodle soup. Which ones you add and how much is entirely up to you. In some ways it is a bit like being a scientist as you need a certain amount of skills to get the balance right. These condiments give you the four basic flavours: namely hot, sour, salty and sweet.

In the top left of this picture is 'nam som prik'. This is basically sliced chilies (prik) in vinegar (nam som). In the picture below, 'nam som' has a more of a brown look because the chilies have been pounded. This obviously gives you your sour taste.

Next, in the top right of the picture, is 'prik pon' which is basically dried red chili which is either flaked or ground to a powder. This is the heat. In the bottom right is 'namtaan' which is normal white sugar. Obviously this is the sweet part. It was a bit strange for me to put sugar in my noodles to start with but it no longer tastes the same without it. So, just do as the Thais do and put a good tablespoon full in!

Finally, in my picture you can also see two bottles of 'nam blaa', or fish sauce. Sometimes you will see this in a jar too but mixed with chilies. This version is then called 'prik nam blaa'. In some restaurants you might see a jar of ground peanuts.

I will talk about the different noodles another day.

Bangkok is a city of Skyscrapers. Many of these buildings are modern structures with colourful glass, chromium and aluminium. There is also the traditional architecture of the wats and chedis with the colour of red and gold.

One big attraction in Bangkok is the element of surprise. In the by lanes we can encounter a place with exquisite beauty. There could be a calm, placid pond with lilies and lotuses. Even the roads may not have any movement. As if the whole landscape were meditating.

Enquiring at the desk where the TOT[Tourist Authority Of Thailand]was, the jovial bell captain informed us that it was "just a little ways down the street"...

We should have been suspious, this was the same bell captain the previous evening that told us the great restaurant across the street[the street being the MASSIVELY wide Rama 4]was "just a little ways down the street", we waited for the traffic to clear up, I was ambulating on my Canadian forearm crutches, since trying to hope the almost 1' high sidewalk there in my wheelchair would be dangerous as best, stupid atleast, we waited about 20minutes, the traffic never slowed or cleared enough that an Olympic sprinter could have made it across that maze of high speed congestion without losing atleast a few toes...we finally gave us, returned to the hotel, where I unwisely ordered some type of fried eggs, but darling Patty ordered the noodles and was delighted!

Anyway, we made it out of the Malaysia Hotel, heading towards TOT, we have good assurance that it was nearby. After several kilometers, we asked a few of the locals how far TOT was...they ALL said "just a little ways down the street", another 3 kilometers in the noon day Bangkok sun & humidity was all I could manage, we finally let one of the many TukTuks take us the "little way" to TOT, it turned out to be another mile!

TOT was extremely helpful however, they had thousands of leaflets and brochures of the Land Of Smiles, we were particularly interested in the southern Isle Of Phuket. It seemed to be something out of a south pacific dream.

Wisely TukTuking back to the hotel, were able to get a "deal" there on the scenic bus trip south to Phuket the next evening.

The humidity and heat had taken my health without much bother, we retreated to the air conditoned slumber of the coffee shop where an assortment of backpapers, expats and their "friends" carried on to an ever blaring theme of disco music and loud noise in general.

Looking over the many brochures filled our eyes with delight for the next days scenic journey!

Being an extremely slower learner, I once again ordered the mystery eggs, while dear Patty wisely ordered the delicious noodles.

We put up with the screeching elevator back to our suite, playing tag with misquitos for several hrs, we finally passed out.

The constant knocking on the doors at all hrs were never answered, we just snoozed til dawn, when the busboy managed to tip over a heavily loaded cart full of dinner dishes, right in front of our room, as he delivered the Milo and mystery eggs & noodles for breakfast.

We delighted reading the Bangkok Post that morning, a truely FINE world class newspaper, in particular we liked reading Crutchly & Trink columns. The large lizard had worked his way from behind the toilet once again to his enclave in the bathtub, my crutches made him retreat, hissing and screeching back to the safety behind the toilet once more, the shower was interesting, if you were able to dance and whirl around like a dervish, then you could barely connect with the few water droplets that tried to drip out of the clogged and limed up shower head, I finally gave up, sticking my head under the tub faucet, it had almost twice as much flow as the shower head, and it only took 15minutes to get that swell hotel soap out of my eyes.

We lazed around the room, reading the Bangkok Post til checkout time, then receded to the coffee shop for yet more mystery eggs[did I mention I don't even like eggs?]and noodles with Greenspots!

Our time to depart was near, we got a TukTuk to the big bus terminal, the driver as death defying as the taxi drivers had earlier been, we knew they probably went to the same learn-to-drive academy! He swerved, jerked, and jostled the TukTuk constantly honking his horn as lesser vehicles and those on bicycles, barely dodging GIANT buses and often managing to be behind surfurious exhaust of trucks for most of the way, but, he finally slide into the big bus terminal, it seemed that the entire country was there, either getting in or getting out of the hundreds of buses.

The friendly driver told us the bus in front of us was the "express bus" to Phuket. We happily paid him, went to get into the bus, when a hand reached over my shoulder and grabbed me...I turned quickly, expecting the unexpected, when I saw this lovely Thai lady, a cross between Tina Turner & Mae West, saying "You Go Phuket"? to be continued...

Pueng and Oakley in front of the house

“Oh, Oakley! Get away from the table and give me that,” exclaimed my manager Angela as I was wiping down the glass conference table after a little office birthday cake party.

“What? What? What did I do?” I surrendered the wet paper towel and the spray bottle of Windex.

“You have maids back home, don’t you?” Angela asked, spraying the table with one hand.

“Yeah…and?”

“You clean like a princess. That’ll take all day.”

Clean like a princess? Well, hell I am the frelling princess (another story for another time)! But that’s not the point is it?

An average middle to upper class Thai household usually comes equipped with a live-in maid. Can I be blamed for growing up without having to lift my fingers to do anything?

Don't hate the player. Hate the game. Dawg. ;-)

I grew up in a household where my and my uncle’s families each had a maid and a nanny (who also doubled as a maid), my grandmother had her own attendant, and the household shared the cook, the driver (the cook’s husband—also our driver), the laundry lady, and a groundkeeper.

With all that help in the house, I, for one, had never really laid my hands on any household chores.

The first time I actually had to do dishes was in 4th grade in home economics after we cooked a meal, and then at 5th grade we had to wash our own dishes after lunch. The first time I actually had to iron my own clothes--outside of Home Ec--was in 1993, when I came to the US. The first time I actually used a broom for it actual purpose--not as a flying device for Oakley the Mighty Sorceress or the microphone for Oakley and the Rocking Teddy Bears band--was in 3rd grade when students had to take turn cleaning up the classroom after school. The cleaning up duties include straightening up the desks, cleaning the blackboard with sponge and a bucket of water, wipe down the teacher’s desk, sweeping and mopping the floor, and emptying out the trashcan.

Outside of school, my mom tried to train me before I’d leave for yet another international adventure. Like going down to the main kitchen to learn from my cook. (I wrote about earlier.) Like going to learn to iron your clothes and fold your laundry with the laundry lady.

So there goes my extent of housewifery! I never really have to clean up that much, or cook my own dinner for that matter. Although through the 12 years in the US (holy crap…it IS my 12th year anniversary this month!) I have learned to take care of myself.

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At school school today we had a special ceremony to mark the birthday of her Majesty the Queen. Tomorrow is a public holiday so most schools and institutions had their ceremony this morning. The pictures I want to share with you today are some classic examples of Thai dancing.

Notice how graceful and elegant they are. No sudden movements at all. In these three photos, you will probably notice the hands which serve such an important part in Thai dancing. Can you bend your hands back that far? I can't. A lot of the students can do that, even the boys.

"Nang Nak" - a popular Thai ghost story

Nearly every Thai is a firm believer in ghosts. After living here two-and-a-half years, I've heard a hundred ghost stories. These are not the tongue-in-cheek-let's-spin-a-good-yarn-by-the-campfire sort of ghost story. These are hushed first-hand accounts from firm believers whose story ends with some sort of misfortune caused by an evil spirit. Ancient spiritism and animism is alive and well in Thailand--even on a modern 21st century university campus graced with a radio station, computer labs, a modern engineering building, and all the other trappings of modernity.

One of my students had a near-fatal motorcycle accident two years ago late at night. He had just driven by a dark temple compound, which is sometimes feared like graveyards are in the west. Temples are where bodies are burned and ashes are buried into crypts in the compound walls; so spirits are thought to linger about the area. My student friend tells me that just after he passed the temple compound, someone glancing his way saw a lady dressed in white sitting behind him on the motobike. The apparition matched the description of a "Pob" ghost--a strikingly beautiful lady who glides about in a mysterious long white dress. However, she is only a "head." Inside the dress is only bare internal organs, not enclosed by a body. She's considered to be a very dangerous and malevolent spirit. Hence, the explanation for his accident. (By the way, at 80 miles per hour, and drunk, he hit a dead dog lying in the road, which sent him out of control. Another possible explanation for the accident.)

A few months ago, one of our younger professors who just won a Fullbright Scholarship to study in the USA for three years, came into my office late at night, as he was preparing to leave.

"Staying late tonight?" he asked with obvious consternation.

"Of course, probably until about 11pm or midnight. Why?"

"Aren't you afraid to stay by yourself?"

"Not really. Should I be?" I thought maybe he knew of some prowling murderer loose on campus.

"What about ghosts?"

I was taken aback. I didn't really expect that comment from someone who had just gotten his master's degree from one of Bangkok's more progressive universities. But my teacher-friend was Isan to the core, which included a solid belief in malevalent spirits--which especially like to plague people who remain alone in big empty buildings.

His wide eyes and sincere concern actually rattled me just a bit.

So that same night, after shutting out all the lights, and powering down the noisy air conditioners, things seemed unnervingly quiet. Then, wandering through a cavernous dark room to the distant door on the far wall, I was just a little more alert to strange sounds and fleeting shadows. What is that white thing in the far corner? A lady in white? No, just the faculty refridgerator in the pantry area.

Never afraid of ghosts in my life, and now I start this in my mid-50's? Get a grip!

Almost every night you can count on the TV to dramatize one or two ghost stories in a thriller. Although it scares them, the Thai cannot help watching these, the way morbid onlookers are drawn to the scene of an accident. Every Thai child is told the story of Nang Nak (you can read a brief description of it at www.thailandlife.com/nangnak01.html )

The Thai have many categories and types of ghosts and every Thai person knows all the "species" by name. Thus, I share with you a great article on page 2 which spells it out in ghoulish detail. I'm gradually learning these names, because it's so much a part of daily conversation!

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First Date!!! Hello from Betong!

Hello, I am ST, a charming :)Malaysian Chinese lady. I have been living and working in Thailand for more than two years. To know more about me and my life in Thailand…date with me on thai-blogs!!

Ok, firstly let me give a little introduction about where I live.

I live in Betong. There are altogether five Malaysian-Thai border towns and Betong is one of them. Betong is located at the Southern most of Thailand and the town is only 7km from the Malaysian-Thai border. It is a district (amphur) of the Yala Province with an approximate population of 50,000, of which about 15,000 are living in the town. It is made up of multi-races with approximately 40% Muslims, 30% Chinese and 30% Thai. It was the base for the former jungle fighters of the Communist Party of Malaya and is considered as one of the most Chinese populated area in Thailand, and has the highest average per capita income among the three Southern provinces, Narathiwat, Yala and Pattani.

Being a Malaysian who lives and work here, where it takes only 7 km to reach Malaysia, it is easier for the people to fly to Bangkok through the Penang airport(1 ½ hour from Betong) than through Hat Yai airport(3 ½ hours from Betong). People often come to the Malaysian border town to have breakfast and go back to work…so as you can see, it is unavoidable for me to not mention about Malaysia once in a while!:)

Due to its unique locality, Betong has a long history of close diplomatic relationship with the Perak State of Malaysia. Due to the current unrest situation in Southern Thailand, more cooperation is needed to safeguard the security and economic activities of the two towns. On the 6th of August, the opening of the 330 million Baht Bukit Berapit new Immigration Complex, ( the only exit point to Thailand via land route in Perak state of Malaysia), a lot of Thailand senior officers are invited to join the grand opening ceremony officiated by the Sultan (King of State) of Perak and I am indeed honored to be one of the invited guest too :) !!.

The Thai called the Sultan as “ Sulatdtan ”. On that day, all invited guests from Thailand are excited, hoping to grasp the rare and valuable opportunity to greet the “ Sulatdtan ”. Betong Municipality has volunteered to contribute the fresh fish and prawns specially ordered from Trang for the Sultan and the other VIPs!! For me, being a Malaysian, I had never been so close to the Sultan when I was in my own country. Therefore it is indeed an exciting experience for me to meet and to politely chat with the Sultan of my own nation as a guest from Thailand! Let me show u some pictures…

This is the picture taken from the Malaysian border town-Pengkalan Hulu, a welcoming dinner for the Sultan the night before the opening ceremony day. Today, there are still quite a number of Thai living in the Northern part of Malaysia and maintaining the Thai culture.



Gift for the Sultan. Woodcraft from Chiang Mai.



Welcoming troupe. Can you see the difference with Thailand’s?



Family of “ Sulatdtan ” with Thai and Malaysian VIPs seated behind.

Hope u enjoy our first date!! Cheers!

"My dad would buy scary looking fruit with spikes and needles"

Thai people call me a dek meung nok, which means a foriegn country child. My parents lived in Chicago when I was born. At the time, they were undecided about whether I would be raised in Thailand or as a Dek Nok in America. (They ended up raising me in America, I lived in Thailand for a few years during my twenties, and now I live in the middle of England with my British husband) They decided to register me with both a Thai name and an English name. My Thai name (Nalisra) was registered as my first name and my English name (Lisa) as my middle name. Mom and dad would never call me by my first name. As a rule, Thai parents do not use their child's given name. Instead, they use a 'play name'. They try to dissuade evil spirits from taking their child by using a name like 'pig' or 'fatty' or 'rat'. I never had a Thai play name, I guess my parents thought using my foreign name was enough to dissuade evil spirits that might be tempted to take me.

My parents shared Thailand with me through their stories. Most of dad's stories were about the river...the time he nearly drowned in the river as a toddler, how he used to play in the river until it was banned after a neighborhood man was eaten by a crocodile, and about all of his favorite food stalls near the river side that he would stop at just before or after travelling on the river ferry. Food was a popular story theme for my dad. On my childhood visits to Thailand, dad would hit the market to buy scary looking fruit (with spikes and needles) then he would seek out his favorite hoy tod stall that was across the river from his university. My father's years in Bangkok were mostly occupied by studies (he was in med school) and food. When he left in the 1960s, Thailand was beginning to change, largely from the impact of the Vietnam war.

Thirty years later, I moved to Bangkok, living and working there for over 3 years. My Bangkok was very different to my father's. I travelled to work by car, driving an hour in the morning to travel about 10 miles along Petchburi Road and an hour and a half in the evenings to return along Sukhumvit Road, doubling the travelling time in the rainy season. Like my father, my friends and I sought refuge through food. Dad's beloved market food stalls were still there and provided daily meals, chicken and rice, bamee noodles or pad thai for 35 baht; but in the evenings my friends and I could sometimes be found at a sophisticated Europen restaurant where we paid 500-800 baht per head for dinner before hitting a Thai discoteque or karaoke bar into the late hours of the evening. On the weekends, we would hit to the road, escaping Bangkok along the multi tiered expressways to visit coastal towns where we bought live crab off the beach and, on every street, golden mangoes appeared in March/April, piled high alongside sweet, sticky rice.

So many things about Thailand has changed since my parents left. At least some things, a passion for food and life, will never change.

I regretted for not heeding the advice on the forum on which Mobile operator to use in Thailand. The ORANGE SIM card almost made me turn RED. My friend Virat in Ranong ระนอง and I tried very hard to contact each other and what we got is “Kor Tuk Ka… tik-tok….”. My frustration is compounded earlier by the courtesy accorded by Budget rent-a-car in Phuket airport for assigning me a Toyota Avanza instead of Honda City which I asked for when making the booking via the Internet.

The journey from Phuket to Ranong is very scenic, especially near Khao Lak, where the Tsunami destruction is still noticeable. Along the route to Ranong, you can also find a lot of Mosque dotting the highway with signboards saying “Masjid”, a word that Malaysian are too familiar.

The SPA at Jansom

We checked into Ranong Jansom SPA resort Hotel along the highway after several minutes of “tik-tok” and “ding-dong” to contact Virat. As most of the nice places to eat were closed by then, we have to settle for the second best. Ranong is famous for soft-shell crabs and other food were yummy too.

We woke up early the next day for a dip in the nature hot SPA and cold swimming pool. Alternating with Hot-Cold pools was quite an experience. There are quite a lot of Chinese-looking faces around and I was able to converse with them in my Penang Hokkien dialect. Ranong has shared history with Malaysia, especially Penang, according to Kitjar Na Bangsar’s post and confirmed with my later findings.

Ranong is a small town with a beautiful park just outside the old town. The center of the park sits the bronze statute of Khaw Soo Cheang (许泗漳 ), the founder and first Governor of Ranong. In Ranong, Khaw Soo Cheang is a legend. The people here consider him to be the patron saint of the province and while we were at the monument, I saw a women and a small girl came on the motorbike to offer flowers to the statute.

The Khaw Soo Cheang statute

I have a lot of respect for the government of Thailand in that she is magnanimous to honor and recognize the contribution of a person regardless of his origin, race or creed. Although Yap Ah Loy was recognized by the British as the founder of Kuala Lumpur, the government of Malaysia always played down this fact and the history books always said otherwise.

At the old town, there are signs of Chinese influences everywhere - Chinese temples, Clan associations and shops. The market is lively with most of the fruits and food that you will find in a typical Thai market. Market and Wat are the usual place I will go whenever I visit a place.

Asking for direction to the ruins of residence of the ex-governor was easy. The old residence of the governor now rest in ruins. A small house is built on the ruins of the original mansion to house to serve as a family temple to house the plaque of the deceased Khaw family members and also serve as a historical museum to house photographs, newspaper cuttings and other items.

Khaw Soo Cheang temple

I was pleasantly surprised to find that there was a newspaper cutting of the Star newspaper from Penang with a story on “How the Khaw rose to power”.

If you are interested in history, you can get more on www.ranong.go.th.

The other interesting place to visit is the tomb of the governor. It is located on the way to Ferry Jetty to Andaman Club where we are heading. I think the best way to describe the burial place is best with photos.

Khaw Soo Cheang Burial Ground

The place is just awesome. In Malaysia, all of the stone artifacts and moveable items are likely to be vandalized or worst cart way overnight.

I will post on my visit to Victoria Point (aka Kawthaung or Koh Song) next week.

Hello all! I have recently completed my trip to Thailand, and will be blogging more about it soon...but I would just like to start this blog by addressing an observation upon arriving in Bangkok for a few days.... Do Thai girls Eat???? Everywhere we went, I can't help but notice that most of the younger ladies in this city are stick thin!!! Every year I visit their getting skinnier and skinnier. What are they eating? What aren't they eating? There's food and snacks everywhere! If I lived here for three months I'll probably gain 300 pounds! I couldn't walk down the street without buying some kanom/desserts to sample. So many food stalls, restaurants, how can they possibly stay so thin?? Has anyone ever pondered this?

A scene from the movie Jan Dara

After I wrote my last blog about “Letters from Thailand”, I received numerous excellent suggestions from other bloggers here for expanding my own shelf of Thai lit – a pretty sparse shelf indeed as it housed only the one book which was threatening to topple over at any time.

Since I could find nothing at the bookstores I usually haunt, and in the spirit of Mr Wit from thai-blogs with his Thai music collection, I went online and bought books through the excellent dcothai.com. They don’t have an actual bricks and mortar store in Bangkok but delivery anywhere in Thailand is 40 baht no matter the size of the order – would cost me more than that to take the Skytrain somewhere to pick them up.

“The story of Jan Darra”,was the first book I picked up and, yes, mostly because I was familiar with the movie and hence the title, but I was also drawn in by the description of the author on the inside flap: “A heavy drinker, Pramoon (Un-hathoop, who wrote the book under the name Utsana Phleungtham) was plagued by stomach ulcers from his mid-thirties, and spent the last twenty years of his life in and out of hospitals. Bukowski in Bangkok! Choice made.

I imagine distant bells might go off in the minds of some who read this due to the film “Jan Dara”, (why they dropped the extra 'r' i don't know) which was based on this book and received a big opening abroad at film festivals. I was not in Thailand during its opening but news reports indicate that the film’s directors had to pay more than one visit to the Government Censor Board who greeted them with scissors in hand.

After finishing the book, I watched “Jan Dara” once again and to me it didn’t’ measure up to the book, but then again that could be said for any film adaptation of a book that I’ve enjoyed (save say the rare, rare instance like Shawshank Redemption or some such). Having been in Thailand for a longer while as well I must say that the actor playing the elder master of the house (known in the novel only as His Lordship) did to me bear something of a striking resemblance to my one-time fellow Christmas mass celebrant Mr. Chuwit himself! Maybe it was just the moustache.

The movie Jan Dara came out in 2001, but the book was written years before that in 1966 released as “Rueang Khong Jan Darra” and the writer himself was obviously aware that his book would meet with more than just an upturned eyebrow or two. Pramoon wrote in the foreword to his book: “This is the writer’s first novel, and he must insist that his work of fiction is unsuitable for kids and most offensive to sanctimonious pricks.”

Marcel Barang, who edited the translation of Jan Darra, writes in his postscript to the book that Pramoon infuriated those who petitioned against his book by answering them with a simply two-word riposte: “Phom chawp” (I like it!)

Barang in his postscript says that this is the only Thai erotic novel of merit in the history of the Kingdom’s literature. Seems like a bold claim but his defence is that other supposedly “erotic” books have been written, and bawdy tales dispatched to men’s magazines he notes, but they are pornographic rather than erotic and do not approach literature, as this book most certainly does.

Pramoon is said to have based the goings on in this book on real life events in a castle near to where he lived – he befriended the cook’s son and was provided with enough tales from the inside to lead to the publishing of this work. The protagonist’s first name is derived from ‘janrai’ (damned) and is given to him by his would be step-father who hates him (we learn why later).

Jan witnesses all manner of debauched sexual behaviour from an early age instigated by “His Lordship”, who uses his position of power in the household to bed all the maids, cooks, visiting relatives and even his own wife on occasion with seemingly unlimited verve and aggression. This has the effect of deepening Jan’s hatred of the man and also of spawning a family tree that it would take a patient scholar years to delineate.

His Lordship eventually banishes Jan from the household and sends him to Phichit where his family roots lie. That section alone is an interesting slice of the book for me – sure once we get a whiff of the tone of the book not much can surprise us in “His Lordship’s” castle of debauch, but the goings on upcountry are something else indeed! Jan has to invent pretences to ward off the advances of women and the instances of “romantic congress” are so frequent and occur in so many locales that one wonders at how these people remained upright long enough to complete any farming business.

This is a gothic novel and reads very much like one, with little reality outside of the dark household of His Lordship. Aside from his adventures in Phichit his journeys outside His Lordship’s compound only take him to school in his youth and it is there that he has a brief virginal relationship with a female school friend. That he counts as the love of his life and she’s gone before the reader can even register her presence. Pining for her, Jan begins to dive headfirst into the hedonistic world trail-blazed by His Lordship.

The novel didn’t read to me as a recounting of this man’s education of the opposite sex. When he walks in on two women sharing… intimacy… he for a moment is not sure what he is witnessing but when he can finally focus his eyes, he observes:
“Two women who could have been mother and daughter were engaged in an unnatural and obscene act that should have been struck by lightning.”

The Story Jan Darra starts out seemingly in a perfect frame to be a story of revenge – the mean-spirited owner of the house suffering for his wickedness at noble Jan’s hands. It doesn’t quite turn out that way. What happens I don’t want to spoil for those of you who may end up picking up this book, but suffice it to say that what we have in this saucy, supposedly sensationalist tale, is very much a Buddhist lamentation on the ruinous nature of desire, attachment, suffering and change. A typical Western tale this is not – here the feud that drives the narrator of this story also ensures his long-term unhappiness. Jan says at one point: “It’s true what they say; happiness and suffering are all in the mind.”

Thanks everyone for your excellent recommendations. On my third book now of the Thai Classics series and really enjoying it. I plan to write another blog about the Thai Classics series itself at a later point, but for now here is the information for this book:

ISBN: 974-89283-0-6
Translated by Phongdeit Jiangphatthanarkit
Edited by: Marcel Barang for the Thai Modern Classics Series

A caveat to any amateur (or pro) ornithologist reading this blog. This is neither an entry about my search for a new species of aviary mystique in the jungles of Northeast Thailand, nor is it an essay about Warner Brothers' influence on Thai culture. No, the tweety birds to which I am referring were the ones I saw above my melon after being knocked flat on my butt at Wat Phra That Doi Tung. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

In April of 2004, I spent two weeks in and around Chiang Rai. I would either drive Pon's father's motorbike (a risky endeavor, I admit), take the bus, or ride with her uncle in his rickety Toyota pickup (he was the only person in the very entended family who had a car).

On one of my last days in Chiang Rai, Pon and I, along with about eight of her relatives (I kid you not) loaded up into this old pickup for a ride into the surrounding hills. One does not need to be a member of Mensa to realize that five or six people would be riding in the bed of said truck. I happened to be one of those windblown unfortunates. Suffice to say, at the end of that day, my milky-white skin ended up a beautiful BBQ'd red, not unlike moo daang! This in spite of using sunscreen. April in Thailand? Are you kidding?

The view from Wat Phra That Doi Tung

After a long ride, we ended up at Doi Thung Mae Fah Luang Flower Garden. These beatifully manicured grounds sit around the "chalet" that was home to the King's mother in her later years. She had it built to look exactly like a Swiss chalet, to remind her of the years she spent in Switzerland when her children attended school in that country. The gardens were beautiful, and I took several photos. Pictures were not allowed during a tour of the interior of the chalet, so I am sorry that I cannot show how it looked. It was very beautiful. I don't think anyone lives in the residence now. Most of the rooms are roped off and left as they were when the King's mother passed away in 1995.

Some of the garden park

Not far from this chalet and garden park, sits Wat Phra That Doi Tung. One of the more interesting aspects of this wat is that it has Buddha's left collar bone enshrined in a chedi that is draped with a saffron-colored cloth.

Here's the chedi housing Buddha's collarbone

Another interesting aspect of this wat, is the walking path leading up to it from one of the lower parking lots. This steep ascent is lined on both sides by large bells. Hundreds of them going all the way to the summit. People going in both directions will retrieve sticks from the thick foliage, and bang each bell as they pass. The walk is anything but a time for introspective meditation in aesthetically-pleasing surroundings.

Upon reaching the summit, the climber is afforded gorgeous views of the countryside. So...I was walking around these grounds taking in everything. I spotted a beautiful vantage point from which to take of picture of the distant haze-covered hills. I knelt down by a bench to steady my view. "click" I took a couple of snapshots. Then I stood up.."BONG!!" right into a bell that was hanging next to the bench!

I don't think that I was knocked out, but it took a moment to get my wits gathered back into my ringing noggin'. My sunglasses were sitting sideways on my sunburnt face. Embarrassment turning my already red face an even darker hue of scarlet. I was flat on my back, my legs splayed akimbo. A nice purple knot appeared almost immediately above one eye.

I sat up amidst the flashing stars and looked around; my eyewear still draped precariously off of one ear and part of my nose. Such a sight I must've been. Bystanders' concerns for my well-being were quickly dispelled as I sat up. This concern was replaced by the urge to chuckle at the clumsy pink-faced Farang sitting on the flagstones, blinking slowly and surveying his surroundings. I had to laugh myself as I stood up and brushed pine needles off my keister. A truly memorable day for me this was..at the Wat of the Tweety Bird.

Oh, my aching head!

Life has certainly become a lot more hectic recently. I’ve had a whole legion of enthusiastic new students knocking on me door asking to learn English. Then on top of that, I’m busy helping me fiancee with our wedding arrangements for October. But, I started this ‘bloggo section’ of mine, so I just gotta keep the train moving. After a sordid series on our nation’s beloved ‘People in Power’ I thought I’d pit-me-wits at knocking up a new series on pretty funny but true stories that have left the nation's ‘news crazy’ folks creased up in laughter.

There are many advantages about speaking and reading the country’s language. You can read where the darned Bangkok buses are actually going, enjoy a decent meal, and definitely one of the best advantages is being able to watch the Thai news and read the daily Thai language newspapers. So for this week, I thought I’d share with yous all, a few absolutely wacko stories.

Us foreign tourists can be a pretty gullible lot for ‘getting cheated’ and my fave ‘scam some cash outta the Farang schemes’ has to be one fiasco that goes on in Pattaya. Every now and then, a Thai boxing festival is set up for the Farang tourists to go and witness for themselves a group of ‘supposedly’ grade A Thai boxers fighting for glory. Now, gambling is actually illegal in Thailand but, there are a few exceptions. There is the ever popular government lottery of course but besides only this you are allowed to gamble at the major boxing stadiums to the likes of ‘Lumphini’ and also at the country’s ‘Horse Racing’ tracks. Of course you aren’t allowed to gamble at the so-called Pattaya Boxing Festivals, but who gives a darned, This Is Thailand.

Once at this ‘supposed’ festival, which I went along too, there were dozens of massive big-bellied Germans with their stick-insect Thai girlfriends sat on the back of some rented Harley Davidson Bikes and a whole squad of English football hooligans too out to gamble for the night on the supposed ‘hot’ boxers of their choice. A whole pack of Thai guys soon arrived and within no time at all the Farang tourists were betting loadsa cash against these Thais. What a farce! We had one boxer who resembled some six-foot four mean-looking Israeli soldier straight out of the Gaza Strip up against against this chopstick boxer who looked like a Victory Monument beggar. Going into the fourth round, all the Thai guys shouted out to the likes of 1,000 baht on the crappo skinny boxer. The Farang guys thinking these Thai guys were pretty stupid at wagering on such a potential ‘loser’ were soon flashing the cash. Of course, the boxer all the Farangs bet on soon lost his momentum and was remarkably knocked-out soon after after a blinding upper-cut.

You must have been pretty dumb not to realize that every one of the fights were ‘set-up’ as a scam to replenish all the cash from the drunkard Farangs ongoers. If that wasn’t enough, all the Farangs were also charged a 500 baht entrance fee! (I paid the Thai price of 50 baht!)These so-called boxers should have won a trophy for their acting skills! As for the Farang guys they were soon fuming after beginning to realize that had been scammed for thousands!

All the Thais know that many a big Thai Boxing fight has been set up over the years and one classic had to be one that was shown live on Channel 7 a few years back. Here, we had one famous Thai promoter who enjoyed dressing up like that beaver-head American boxing promoter ‘Don King’ and one Sunday afternoon was seen showing off his new superstar to the TV cameras, who he had promised ‘Would knock the living daylights out of anyone!’. Well, hearing this fantastic news the arena’s audience were soon flashing their wallets around the ring, sure they were ‘Gonna make a killing’ on this fight.

What a great start! Thailand’s Don King’s new ‘whipper-snapper’ boxer was running around the ring smacking the other guy to shreds. That was until the third round. Our gallant boxer had suddenly decided to impersonate an intoxicated chicken and run round the ring trying to ‘slap’ the referee in the face instead. His opponent didn’t even need to throw a punch as our Thai ‘Rocky’ superstar just tripped over his own foot, fell down and was out for the count.
It was found out later that the promoter ‘Thailand’s own Don King’ had gambled several hundred thousand on the actual opponent and so the rag his corner had used to sweat the boxer’s brow at the end of the second round had in fact been doused in some sort of ‘Knock out Lotion’ normally used by surgoens. Guess his trainers just over did it a bit.

One of my fave stories has to be the one from last year that made the news headlines. As I’ve written before, our Thai friends just love having a party, playing cards and getting ‘sloshed’. Now, one of the most fun type of parties here in Thailand has to be the ‘Funeral Party’. After paying their condolences to their dead neighbour the party on-goers are soon having a right fun party at the deceased expense. On going home for the night they are all hoping that someone else soon ‘kicks the bucket’ so as to have another ‘fun night out’. So, just last year or so there was a story from the province of Nakhorn Nowhere that went something like this.

A fine funeral party was going on and all the attendants decided to ‘play cards’ and gamble their hard-earned salaries away. That was until the local police arrived to ‘do the bust’. Of course, all of them dashed out the windows and back door only for the police to say ‘Darned, all the scum have fled the scene’ with only the dead corpse of the deceased remaining in his coffin. Not so. After inspecting the crime scene one of the police suddenly heard this repititious ‘hic-up hic-up'. The cop on hearing this, asked his colleagues ‘Did you hic-cup?’ ‘No’ came the reply from every single one of them and so they asked each other ‘Well, who the heck has the hic-ups?’ Of course, none of them did and the police queried ‘Is it possible for a corpse to hic-cup?’. Sure, our finest cops aren’t exctly a very stupid bunch and decided to go and ‘tickle’ the dead body just for the fun of it! The supposed ‘dead body’ with tears in his eyes jumps out of his coffin and coffesses to the likes of ‘OK I’m not the dead body! The dead thing was lying under me!’ Of course, our gambler friend on being rather slow on fleeing the seen had jumped into the coffin on top of the dead body hoping the police wouldn’t realize. Unfortunataly for him he had just one too many whiskey and sodas that evening.

Talking about the police. I can remember a couple of years ago when the police complained to the media about a certain Ladyboy who was under their custody. What was the problem? you may ask. Well, after the Ladyboy’s capture and failure to pay a lowly fine for gambling or something like that the police could do nothing but lock the Ladyboy up for a few days in lieu of being unable to pay the fine. Probably for the fun of it, the comedian guards stuck him/her in the men’s cell. Well, after a few days the police said to the Ladyboy ‘You can go home now’ only for the Ladyboy to reply ‘I don’t want to leave, I want to stay here, it’s great being locked up with a few friends!’ So, the police just let the Ladyboy stay put and after a few more days the police had to virtually handcuff the Ladyboy and throw him/her out into the streets after they had realized that this certain Ladyboy had been having lotsa ‘fun’ with the other randy inmates every night.

Then, just last week we had the pretty hilarious goings-on of a certain farmer and his wife up there in the north-east. This is the story. Our farmer friend had just managed, to his great relief, to secure a loan for 50,000 baht and being a supposed 'model husband' had given his wife 49,000 baht to look after while he kept 1,000 for a night out in town with his buddies. Well, our farmer friend must have been having a splendid night out celebrating as he got so unbelievably drunk that on arriving home he ordered wife to hand over the other 49,000 baht to finance his night out. Of course, his wife wasn't haven't any of this and slammed the door in his face!

Infuriated at the disobedience of his wife, the farmer managed somehow or another to get his dirty hands on a small childrens' water gun. Running back to the house with the wife fast asleep, he immediately ordered her at gunpoint to 'flash the cash' or she would be shot! Taking the wicked threat seriously, she quickly hands over the cash and he runs back to join his friends. One plus one equals two and after a quick chat with her neighbours she realized he had been 'taking the pish' and swore her revenge! She soon spotted her beloved husband in a local open-air bar surrounded by an entourage of sexy dancers. Infuriated at the capers of her loved one, she went up to the table and slammed him in the back of head with the family's huge water pot.

Hospitalized for a couple of days cause of his head injuries, he told the media 'Please tell me wife that I didn't mean it. I still loves her. I just had a few too many to drink!' Well, the wife must have been pretty stupid too, as when being interviewed by the media she burst into tears and says 'Oooooh, I'm so sorry too, I shouldn't have hit me husband so hard, I just hope he forgives me!’

And finally there is the ‘classic’ tale of a cartain Samlor Driver (Cycle Rickshaw/Tricyle Driver) that cocked-up his life so much that there is even a saying in the Thai language that originated out of him ‘Mue-an Samlor Tuk Huay’ (To behave like a Samlor Driver that has won the lottery). Quite a long time ago now, it hit the news headlines about this extremely poor Rickshaw Driver from Nonthaburi that had struck it lucky and won a huge two million baht on the country’s national lottery. Absolutely delighted with his win, he kicked his wife and mother-in-law out of the house and decided to ‘go on the razz’ as a single man. So, for the next few months, our Rickshaw Driver friend did nothing but party-it-up and have a whole string of adorable girls at his ‘beck and call’. He must have enjoyed himself so much that he gave his money away like pieces of paper and blew the entire sum of two million baht away within the spate of six months! Today, our Samlor friend, still single, can been seen once again driving his Rickshaw around the streets of Nonthaburi Town. And I’m not joking!

The newlyweds flew in from Hong Kong that early monsoon morning from Kowloon, Hong Kong.

We'd met a fellow traveller at KaiTak airport who told us of the wonderful land of Thailand, a place full of green tropical jungle, rice paddy, Pagodas by the score and the river city of Bangkok.

The greeness filled our eyes as the plane circled over the Cobra Swamp before descending towards Don Muang airport.

The rich aroma of Asia filled the big DC10 as we dropped below 15,000'.

Customs was routine, the kind agent inquired if I was US Military, I told him I was USArmy Special Forces retired, he grinned and quickly mentioned that he had also been in the Thai Army and had killed several Communists. We shook hands and he bid is well on our way.

The commotion outside the airport was chaotic to say the least, the taxi driver encirlced us quickly as we walked thou the doors and out into the 90% humidity and the ever constant 90F temperature.

Some of the drivers decided to "help" us with our luggage and push my wheelchair towards their fleet of againg Toyota Corollas! We finally made a deal as to what we considered a "fair" price to haul us the short drive to Bangkok.

The road was two lanes, crowded to 4 or 5 lanes of traffic, depending on what vehicle filled the way.

Horns honking, motorcycles by the thousands, large overloaded trucks, huge buses, all filled to the brim, samlors, tuk tuks, bicycles, and those that pushed wheeled carts,etc filled the "superhighway" from the airport all the way to town.

The heavy monsoon, it was after all June, also filled part or all of the road, hear and there, sometimes you'd see folks with throw nets fishing the side klongs, but most were trying to navigate the flooded streets without bogging down. Those few drowned out vehicles just became another hazard to go around, honking honking honking was necessary, otherwise someone behind might forget where they well.

Our crowed, non air conditioned taxi finally got us to our destination in the capital: The Hotel Myjestic! Our driver had mentioned that it was "almost" 4 star, at least "Number 1" and he could get us a great "deal" there!

We made our way into the aging hotel,its best days far behind it. The desk clerk cheerfully logged us in, told us about the "Number 1" pool they had,etc,etc,etc.

The bell man carried our one suitcase and pushed me in my wheelchair at the same time, squeezing in the intricate, almost french Victorian elevator.

He made it squeak and holler like a rat with it's tail caught in a trap. We started and stopped, jerking all the way up to our "suite" on the 4th floor.

Showing up inside our room, Raymond Chandler must have stayed at this place! It's interior designed decades earlier, the hot Asian sun had turned nearly white, the once elaborate red curtains. The bed, complete with "lumps" didn't leave us with much hope for a good nights sleep, but we were more tired from the taxi drive from the airport, than we'd been from the flight from Kowloon.

We gave the driver a buck, and he'd said he'd be on call anytime we needed assistance, just to call the desk.

Looking out, past the moldy curtains, I could see far down below, the green infestation the desk clerk had called a "Number 1" pool. The moss was growing thickly around its edges and the thought of a refreshing dip were soon drowned by Pattys yelp as she noticed the rather large lizard in the bath tub.

I managed to corner the pesky foot long creature with one of my crutches, only to have it slip thru a small crack behind the toilet. With our safety now guaranteed, we left the room and made the elevator screech for several minutes, landing us in the lobby once again...

Enquiring at the desk where the TOT[Tourist Authority Of Thailand]was, the jovial bell captain informed us that it was "just a little ways down the street"...to be continued...

The poll for the best Thai School Lunch has now closed. A total of 646 students between the ages of 10 and 15 voted for their favourite lunch from a list of 20 meals. Here is the list:

(1) Fried Chicken on rice - khao mun gai tod (16%)
(2) Egg noodle soup with wonton - ba mee (14%)
(3) Boiled Chicken on rice - khao mun gai (12%)
(4) Lemon Grass Soup with Chicken - tom yum gai (7%)
(5) Macaroni Soup (6%)
(6) Fried Basil and Pork on rice - gra prao moo (5%)
(7) Fried Rice with cocktail sausages - khap pat kai sai grok (4%)
(8) Noodles and Pork in thick gravy - rat naa (4%)
(9) Greeny Curry with pork and bamboo shoots - gang gai sai noh mai(3%)
(10) Red Pork on rice - khao moo daeng (3%)

School lunch tomorrow is one of my favourites, green curry with bamboo shoots. This came in at number 9 on the list. Surprisingly, one of my other favourites didn't get onto the Top 10. This is Fried chilli with pork and long-beans which only pulled in 2% of the vote. What about your favourties? Are they in the top 10?

Bangkok has a large fleet of motorcycles which move efficiently through the traffic in a serpentine manner. These two wheelers are more efficient than the Tuk-tuks which are of course more colourful and fancied.

These motorcycles work as the most efficient taxi service in making you reach your destination much faster. The Japanese consultant, Mr. Tsetsumo Ohno was once mentioning to me that when the Japanese Ambassador was caught in a traffic jam in Sukhumvit Road while commuting from his residence for an important meeting (the sky train had not been commissioned then}; he promptly came out of his car and took the help of a motorcyclist to reach his destination in time. Apart from being a fast mode, the motorcycle also connects with efficiency, the inner residential areas.

Many youngsters also ride these two wheelers as personal means of transport. Once in Chinatown I saw two riders clash with each other. The accident occurred at 90 degrees at a traffic intersection, which was relatively less busy at 3 PM. The accident was mild, but both the riders were thrown on the ground. A helpful traffic cop came and helped them up.

There were no arguments between the riders each blaming the other. The police also did not admonish any one and within five minutes the riders departed in their own motorcycles. Such gentlemanliness is rarely seen in a place of accident.

..that is the question.

Searching through my mental backlog of blog ideas I remembered this was one of the first I thought to write for Thai-blogs I just never got around to it ;)

The Wai is one of the most famous of symbols that people recognize as being 'Thailand.' To do it right is almost an art form and something that many Thais take great care to express properly and sincerely because not only is it ingrained from an early age into Thai culture it also comes from the heart and it is literally a true measure of how much respect to show someone.

From the foreigners perspective if you want to socialize in Thailand so Thai people will a) be somewhat impressed and b) prove not all farangs are uncultured bores only into Thai women (or men if the case may be) and ruining Thai culture with our western ways then take the time to learn some Ways of the Wai. Sounds cool doesn't it?

At first glance the 'Wai' looks simple and easy however to understand the rules to a proper Wai you soon realize this is no simple slick Thai style 'handshake' or even an exotic-cool, ala Vulcan 'Live Long and Prosper', salutation. Oh no. But I'll get on with the rules alittle later, for now I'll get on with the jokes. ;)

For me making a proper Wai was almost, if not more, nerve wrecking in the beginning learning Thai culture than trying to say maai mai mai mai mai ไม้ใหมไม่ไหม้มยั้ (a Thai tongue twister meaning "New wood doesn't burn, does it?") in all the right tones while learning to speak Thai !

To make things more interesting I'll let you in on a secret. However you might imagine me to be like according to my blog personality in real life I am very much the opposite. Not shy but reserved and quiet most of the time preferring the sidelines and keeping to myself in crowds rather than draw a lot of attention. Hence my ingrained American reluctance to do something publicly that would look odd to any one other than a Thai.

But I do have my moments where you put me in the spotlight especially if I know what I am doing, or blogging about, and I can take center stage no problem! In fact I hope this will be a good skill for pursuing a future teaching career in Thailand when I finally break orbit from Planet America.

If you ever watch a Thai perform the wai it is amazing the skill they have. They can gracefully and respectfully wai carrying anything! Imagine trying to see an American do that with a mobile phone in one hand, Starbucks coffee in the other and always rushing somewhere because we Americans are always late for everything. In the beginning making my first attempts to wai I was doing good just to manage a wai with two bare empty hands but I felt so awkward and self conscious! Yes even with something as simple as pressing your palms together in greeting I would do it so fast my hands made a clapping sound and it looked like I was trying a strange new way to swat mozzies! With practice though eventually I got more smooth and graceful at it and my bathroom mirror, kitchen refrigerator and the mailbox down the street on the corner have never been shown so much respect! ;)

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Sawasdee,

For most people reading the forthcoming entries, it may seem like walking halfway into a movie and not knowing what is going on. Maybe it will seem more interesting, as the back story is gradually revealed while the chaos unfolds in real time, like an unintentional homage to David Lynch's Twin Peaks.

See, I used to write yarn-spinning scatagorical emails to my friends back in the States, describing my experiences, first as an American boy coming to Thailand to understand his roots, falling ass backwards into the hurly burly of the Thai entertainment industry, experiencing glorious highs and sobering lows, with chimerical flights of fancy to the Golden Triangle and the never-ending afterparty. In between dispelling rumors of a career in porn ("That's adult entertainment to you, pal.") and impending extradition for involvement in the Gold Club scandal, I travelled, learned how to read and speak Thai, auditioned for acting jobs and fending off the advances of Bangkok nightlife sirens, satyrs and transsexuals 4-5 nights a week.

At one point I ventured into the wonderfully seedy world of hip-hop nightclub ownership in Rachada Soi 4, an exciting, yet ultimately bittersweet experience that will one day be chronicled in print (either as a pamphlet or interactive filmstrip) in "Tales from Da Crib".

Eventually, financial pressures and Mom's furrowed brow dragged me by the thumbs kicking and screaming for a red-pill enema and I was made part of the Realworld System, where cruel Agent Realjob stood waiting, rubbing his grimy hands, cackling, "You thought you could avoid me forever, didja? Pathetic human! I dub thee...radio news producer!"

Now I had less time and energy to audition for acting jobs I wasn't getting anyways. And having to write dozens of pages of work-related plagiarisms every month for Radio Thailand News polluted my creative mojo. I procrastinated on writing my anecdotal emails; ideas quickly backlogged in my head and eventually withered away. Document1 (in all its cruel blankness) mocked me as I aborted several attempts to kickstart my writing shwerve.

But not hope was not quite lost for the criminally underemployed actor, as famine lead to...well not quite a feast, more like a nice sized plate of ribs with a side of cole slaw. Within the span of a month, I booked and shot three television commercials (Knorr soup boullions, Pao detergent, and Westin hotel) along with two music videos (Thai pop rockers Kala and evergreen songstress Amp-Sawaluk). I'm back, Jerry! And from here on, I want to write it all down so I won't forget. And in the meantime maybe I can also metaphorically lend my shoes to old and new readers alike.

So, am I the late-blooming chrysalis, ready to soon crush his doubters and hear the lamentations of their women? Or the marginally talented never-has-been whose list of near-accomplishments dwarf his embarrassingly meager C.V.? The space-fetus at the end of 2001: A Space Oddyssey or the inevitable donor of stem cells?

Right now your guess is as good as mine; as I knock the rust off my digital quill, I expect this gonzo-blog to appear implausibly slapdash. But viewed from a distance, it might reveal some universal truths. Or maybe just a 3-D picture of a sailboat, helmed by a hot female body with the head of Abraham Lincoln.

In the meantime, as long as we're hunkered down in the same boxcar, here's to enjoying the ride.

Sawasdee,
Jack

P.S. Thanks to my brother Charti for giving me the necessary kick in the Aesop to finally blog my monkey.

After a two year wait, we will soon be able to watch the sequal to 'Ong-Bak'. Next weekend, the highly anticipated action movie 'Tom Yum Goong' will hit movie theatres in Thailand. Rival movie distributors have been asked to clear their slates for that weekend so that 'Tom Yum Goong" can have a clean run. At 300 million baht, this is the second most expensive Thai movie ever to be made. (The most expensive one was of course 'Suriyothai'.) It is rumoured that they will raise the price of the movie ticket just to help cover costs. I doubt this would be needed as it will surely do well in the overseas market. The previous movie took in US$15 million worldwide.

Check out the following site for trailers and photos. Also our forums for the latest news.

Official Web site - http://www.tomyumgoongmovie.com/
Movie News - All About Thailand Forums

My aim was to blog at least once every Friday to coincide with Richard’s suggestion on ‘how to blog’ because I’ve also taken a full-time job recently. I realized it would be a better idea for me to move it to the weekend instead where I have more time. Anyway, onto my post…

I’ve mentioned in my previous blogs that I have a brother. This obviously means he is also a ‘luk kreung’ (half-Thai) but it is a little strange in some ways for me to think of him as a [half] Thai. We only have a year and five days age difference which is pretty close to same age and we’re both born in June under the Gemini (twins sign). As kids, we were sometimes even dressed in matching outfits and almost mistaken for actual twins. One wonders, “So if you’re both half, and you’re interested in Thai, then your brother must be too, right?” Not exactly.

We have both been exposed to western culture a lot more than Thai culture. Our western attitude would be considered more ‘American’ but I’d say that my brother drives that one home a lot more than I do.

It used to be that I was moreover my dad’s daughter and my brother, our mother’s son but our roles have switched too. Matt relates more to the western side of things in which he is able to relate to my dad better. I, on the other hand, were it not for my interest in Thai culture, probably would not have as close a relationship to my mother like I do now because Thai ‘stuff’ tends to form a bridge so-to-speak.

As far as I’m aware, my N’Chai (little brother) knows little about Thai culture and so he isn’t as familiar with the customs or traditions as I am aside from the major ones we do as a family like Loy Kratong, Songkran or Taam Bun (merit-making). Perhaps he knows more than he lets on but he doesn’t show it so I wouldn’t know for sure. We tend to stand on opposite sides of the fence.

However, in terms of appearance, I think my brother has quite a few Thai traits. For instance, his hair is black/darker than mine and he is also more tanned compared to the fair-skinned me. If there is one thing that he shows keen interest in, it is Muay Thai (Thai kick-boxing). I like Muay Thai too so I think that is one Thai bridge we both stand on. Maybe in future, he will see the interest in our Thai heritage as I already have and we can walk along the same Thai bridge.

Link: http://photos.yahoo.com/oakzthetrojan

The bride and groom with their parents

On a brisk January Sunday morning in 2002, Wat Thai Los Angeles started its busy Sunday a little bit earlier than usual. The bride, the groom, and the guests had arrived and they were getting ready for the brief version of a traditional Thai wedding ceremony.

And thank goodness that we opt for the brief version. We skipped the traditional groom’s procession part, and STILL took us 2 hours to go through the motions!

And to think out in the Thai countryside and back in the days, wedding goes for DAYS!

Traditionally, the groom and his family along would travel to the bride's house to present Kahn Mahk, wedding presents and dowry. A few klong yao (long drums), cymbals, and dancers sometimes are a part of the procession. The bigger, the better it seems! The groom has to go through a silver gate and a golden gate, usually silver and gold-colored chains held up by the kids in the families, to get into the house and to the bride. Oh I don’t know how much the rate is for toll these days. B100 each kid? The rate is more inflated in the city, I’m sure.

Anyways. We didn’t do any of that especially because Brandon wasn’t bringing in the dowry. Hehe. The party just congregated at the temple for the ceremony. Our guests were seated in chairs opposite from the monks. Traditionally, everyone would be on the floor, but of course, our group was composed of mostly farangs so we had to provide the chairs.

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When we are not writing blogs, Steve and myself are busy writing questions about Thailand for our sister site at thailandquiz.com. If you think you know everything about Thailand then you should have a go at our quizzes. At present there are five different categories. Try the quizzes as often as you like. Looking at the stats, I can see that people have taken the quizzes over 3,500 times. Once you think you are good enough, then try the Big Thailand Quiz. The person with the highest score at the end of the month will win the book "Essays on Thailand". A new competition every month!

Incidently, here on thai-blogs.com, we are celebrating our 1st anniversary this month. As part of this celebration, we are giving away a special Thai watch to one lucky visitor. Click here to find out how you can win.

Next week marks Queen Sirikit of Thailand’s 73rd birthday. I would like to use this blog as an official platform to offer my sincere congratulations and birthday wishes to Her Majesty Queen Sirikit of Thailand (สมเด็็จพระนางเจ้้าสิริกิตต์พระบรมราชินีนาถ Somdech Pra Nang Chao Sirigit Pra Boromma Rachineenat)

ทรงพระเจริญพะยะคะ
Song Phra Charoen Pa Ya Ka
Long Live Her Majesty Queen Sirikit of Thailand

Without doubt, Phra Rachanee (Her Majesty)’s birth date on August 12, 1932 marks one of Thailand’s most auspicious dates in her long history. Born of noble rank, Mom Rajawongse (M.R.) Sirikit Kitiyakara first met His Majesty King Bhumibol Adulyadej (พระบาทสมเด็็จพระเจ้ายูู่หัวภูมพลอดุลยเดชมหาราช Prabat Somdech Prajaoyoohua Poomipon Adonyadayt Maharat) at a car manufacturing plant in France in the mid 1940s

Their Majesties meeting were love at first sight, and it marks the beginning of a very successful union between Their Majesties. Surely, Her Majesty’s greatness for the Thai people was noted from an early age. Nai Luang (His Majesty’s) mother, Her Royal Highness The Princess Mother Somdech Ya once described Her Majesty as a cheerful, polite and sometimes, timid personality.

When, Nai Luang (His Majesty) was involved in a road accident in Lausanne, Switzerland, it was Phra Rachinee (Her Majesty) that was the first person to come to Nai Luang (His Majesty) bedside. It was Phra Rachinee (Her Majesty’s) heart of gold that blossomed into the Royal Wedding of April 28, 1950.

Today, after more than 55 years on the Throne of the White Elephant, Phra Rachinee (Her Majesty) is internationally acknowledged for her great beauty, graceful benevolence and dedication to her subjects. It is Her Majesty's economic projects such as silk weaving, handicraft and various royal-sponsored projects that brought economic prosperity to the 76 provinces of Thailand.

It is Her Majesty’s personal sacrifice in spurning personal comforts and her willingness to share His Majesty’s heavy burdens that have set her path worthy of a national role model. From the deepest of my heart, I salute Your Majesty Phra Rachinee, Pa Ya Ka!

With the on-going violence in Thailand’s southern provinces of Pattani, Narathiwat and Yala, it is Their Majesties great benevolence that bonds together the Thai Buddhists and Thai Muslims together. It is this month also that Phra Rachinee (Her Majesty) would be at her Southern retreat of Thaksin Rachinawet Palace. May Her Majesty brings peace to the Deep South of Thailand. May Southern Thailand return to normalcy and of great economic prosperity.

Although I am neither a Thai citizen nor a Thai resident but I am a Thai Wannabe Lost in Malaysia , I have the highest respects for the Royal Family of Thailand. Their Majesties King Bhumipol Adulyadej and Queen Sirikit have done a lot for the well-being of their Thai subjects. It is Their Majesties’ collective karmic virtues that make Thailand into a successful nation today.

Besides Nai Luang and Phra Rachinee, my greatest affinity to the Thai Royal Family is His Late Majesty King Rama V Chulalongkorn (พระบาทสมเด็็จพระจุลจอมเกล้้า เจ้าอยู่หัวมหาราช Prabat Somdech Phra Chulachomklao Chayuhua Maharat). He has been my patron saint for a very long time. Each time, I am in Bangkok, King Rama V’s Shrine at Dusit would be my focal point of pilgrimage.

Today, even in the heart of Bangsar, Phra Chulachomklao and Their Majesties figure prominently in my life. Thank you Your Majesties for your continuous showers of blessings.

Long Live The Chakri Dynasty of Thailand.
Long Live Their Majesties King Bhumipol Adulyadej and Queen Sirikit
ทรงพระเจริญพะยะคะ

(left) Gable of the Scripture Library at Wat Phra Sing Woramahawihan
(right) Gable of the Uposatha Hall at Wat Khao Bandai It

Date of Issue: 4th August 2005
Designs: Illustrates ancient Thai styled gables

These stamps that were released today are the first in Thailand that are shaped like a triangle. Not long ago we had round stamps with pandas on them. I buy these stamps for the students to buy at the Stamp Club meetings. Sometimes we have stamps left over. If you are buying books from us at thaihypermarket.com and would like us to stick any of these stamps on the envelopes, then please let us know when you place your order.

(left) Gable of Phra Prang at Wat Phra Phai Luang
(right) Gable of Prasat Phanom Rung

Gables are a beautiful and distinctive architectural feature, even when viewed from afar. They are the triangular parts on either end of the roofs of important buildings, such as the Phra Ubosot Hall, the study rooms for monks, and royal palaces. A gable can be carved in wood, covered with gold leaf, made from cement, or decorated with glass and glazed pottery according to the structure and design of the roof and building.

Gable at Prasat Phanom Rung, Buriram

The styles of gables differ between each era. The stamps feature four different style: (1) pictures of cashew orchards, (2) pictures of a Garuda tugging at the wavy tail of Piyana, (3) pictures of the Buddha seated under the Bodhi tree surrounded by his disciples with their palms together, and (4) pictures of Phra Narai Banthom Sindhu (see picture above).

"...wakarimasuka??"
"Wakarimasen - -" " or sometimes "Wakaranai" and even "Wakaraheng" were always my replies when I was there in Japan, one of the top countries people want to visit!

Last September, I took a test (First, paper then interview and interview again together with the speech on random topic) that AFS organization set up. I wasn't so excited or that proud when I passed the paper exam because there were only 3 people taking it! I got the highest scores but still, only one mark ahead another girl so we both were interviewed by the teacher in our school and .. that was the start when I became tickled pink.. I was chosen.

But that was not it, I still had to compete with more 80 students from all around the country to be really chosen as Thailand's representatives. I did OK. during the interview part but then time to make a speech ..

Pick the card.. 5 minutes to prepare then go for it for half an hour ~ look at what I got; How to protect corruption in Thailand! I never even corrupt even such a little thing in my life before so it was quite hard for me :p but I used that point of me to buid up the speech.. don't ask me what I said, it went pretty 'not good' but I was still glad that at least I already did my best that time that moment..that day :)

A week later, "Successful candidates are...
1. Peeyanut
2. Nattarika
3...

"Wait, the name I just passed seemed to be a bit familiar..It might be somebody I've know.." so I came back to that name on the 2nd;
2. Nattarika Chaiyadaecha, full scholarship to join ASEAN 2 program

Now that it's so clear..that somebody's name seemed to be the name involved with me --

Exactly, it was me! I never felt any happier in my life. I mean, I could get it..at last.. after having efforts for like 5 years in order to go abroad..and this time, it was free ~ Whoa, all I could say and thought was just, "YES!"

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Occasionally, after a long day slugging it out in the American corporate rat race fending off my hard won share of the cheese, I want to really relax at home and I know just the way to do it..Thai Style!

I suck at math. I know this. Some days working in a bank I just can't avoid math though. Days like today for example when I have to deal with heavy math calculations and it stresses me out. So once I am home and have showered off the sweat and city grime I really need to unwind and just chill. Not always easy on this side of the planet when a good Thai massage is nowhere to be found unfortunately, but I do have something just as good. Almost.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about my favorite Thai music but mostly I talked about my tastes in pop and rock. Another favorite of mine when I am in a mellower mood is Thai 'Green Music' or New Age music with a distinctive 'Thai Flavor'. Two of my favorite artists for this style of music are Chamras Saewataporn, considered one of the greatest composers in Thailand and Tanis Sriglindee, master of the Thai Flute.

Very nice and relaxing to just chill and listen as their music and evocative sounds strip away the walls of my room, the miles and years fade to a simpler time as I imagine in Thailand floating on the Chao Phraya. Enveloped in a time long journeyed into the past.

Sometimes, like now as I write this, I put several CD's of Chamras and Tanis in my multi-deck stereo, select 'random play' and let it all go. The hot summer night outside makes me forget my air conditioned room and the cricket and night sounds I hear on CD sound like they really come from the jungles and forests in Thailand singing to me outside my window.

My favorite thing to do when I really need to relax is to light all the candles in my room and burn some nice incense then I shut everything off, lights, computer, mobile phone, everything except the music and just lie back and float away. Sometimes, like tonight, I'll set everything up just before I go to bed, turn the volume down just enough so the music whispers in the background. Of course burning the candles all night is risky so I just burn incense instead.

It's nice to meditate or relax or just think about nothing and let the time slip away. People don't do that enough they think time is a commodity you can buy and sell like air or rain when it's free for all you just have to slow down for it. Anyway that's what I like to do sometimes when I really need relaxing.

It would also, I admit, be quite romantic to share a quiet time like this with someone special but I have yet to try it and see. My last three แฟน (all Thai of course) were 'serious relationships' but I never met any of them. Gotta love the Internet :(

Maybe someday though, here or more likely in Thailand, I'll get to try out a 'Thai Mood for two' and maybe even a Thai Massage to boot ;)

ฝันดีครับ
วิทย์

“Hey, Oaks. How do you say ‘I love you’ in Thai?”

My in-laws love to learn about cultures and languages, especially my father-in-law Vernie. Taped to the passenger side dashboard in both of the cars are words and phrases in Spanish that dad and mom are learning. Peppered on it are a few phrases in Thai I have taught them before. Like Sawaddee and Kob Khun, and the proper use of Krup/Kaa addition.

“For you, being a guy, you would say Pomm Rak Khun. Pomm is 'I' for a guy. Rak is love. And of course, Khun is you.”

“Pomm...?”

“Rak. Khun.”

“Rak. Koon? Sort of like ‘raccoon’?”

“Yeah. Sort of like that.”

“Pom Raccoon! Wow. That’s 2 animals in my Thai vocabulary now.”

“What’s the other one?”

“Water cat. What was it again? Meow Now?”

My mom taught him that after he pointed at the sculpture of seals on Redondo Beach Pier.

“It’s maew naam, dad.”

"Right! Maew Naam!"

Everyone has his/her own system to learn and memorize things. Dad is very good with association, a trait Brandon also inherited.

But for Brandon, he is very keen to make the word association usually for comical purposes. If it ain't funny, it doesn't seem to stick. Took him a while to properly say krup like "cup" with an R, and not "crap".

“So what do I call this barbeque pork noodle thing?”

“Ba-meeh Mhoo Daeng. Egg noodles – BBQ pork.”

“Moo Dang?”

“Yeah. Literally means red pork for the color, you know.”

“Moo is pork?”

“And pig.”

“If pigs moo, then what do Thai cows sound like?”

*sigh*

But I'd rather look on the bright side. At least now he can order his own noodles and politely say thank you properly.

(left) Pra Rama and Princess Srida (right) Thotsakan

Date of Issue: 3rd August 2005
Designs: Illustrates Thai version of the drama Ramayana

(left) Hanuman (right) Pra Rama's battle with Thotsakan

The mask play or khon drama is one of the oldest forms of Thai dramatics. Many of the khon dramas originated in the Ayutthaya Era. The play and costume designs are influenced by the traditional play "Chuck Nark". The fighting style is inspired by Thai sword play and traditional musical plays. Most of the actors wear masks unless their roles are angels, humans, queens, princesses, or giants. The two most-played khon dramas are the Ramakien and Unarrud. The above stamps illustrate characters from the Ramakien.

I have seen extracts from the Ramakien and other masked drama plays at various locations. For example, at my school and at funerals (see picture above). The people attending this cremation actually encoraged me to take pictures and enjoy a front row seat. Plays and other performances are not unusual at funerals. More about this another day.

I've been greatly encouraged by the comments of Guest Thaifanfan's comment on my blog, "Thailand's Cultural Excellence". Prior to Columbus there have been many cultural encounters and exchanges. Julius Caeser conquered Britain in 55 BC and there was interaction with the Celts.

The long drawn Persian war brought about a confrontation of large proportions ending perhaps with the battle of Salamis. I agree with Thaifanfan's statement.

My views of Columbus as a starting point is limited to the birth of the nascent discipline of the American School of Anthropology and the Britidh School of Social Anthropology,leading to extensive field work and ethnography.Bronislaw Malinowski became a cult figure in the study of culture through his field work in the Trobriand islands. All this has led to a genuine respect for other cultures.

Apart from war, trade and commerce; religion also has played a significant role in cultural assimilation. In case of Buddhism, there has been a seamless integration of south east Asia.

Fah Hien and Hiuen Tsang from China have visited India and recorded their observations on Indian culture, so has Megasthenes from Greece. In case of Thailand, it would be interesting to know early cultural interactions with China and other countries from fellow-bloggers.

Is this English or metric or some type of patent pending idea? With just the thought that Thailand one day will be the super emperor of the world where one makes, sets, and changes rules? Or the forefront of some fascinating new concept?

We booked a tour to northern Thailand via interne from USA, paid in full up front including on night in Bangkok before tour departing. As you all know…any airlines from the USA always landed in BKK around 11-12 pm. We know we will be arriving in the last hour of Dec 24… and won’t get to our hotel until 1:00 am and this would be Dec. 25 already. So we told our tour company to book the room on Dec. 25 (ahh…one night in Bangkok!, before the tour departing).

The hotel limo picked and dropped us off at the hotel at around 2:00 am.
Well..guess what!! When we’re trying to check-in, the front desk said our booking is for tomorrow!!
WE SAID: no!..”It is for today!”
FRONT DESK: no!...tomorrow! sir and mam
WE SAID: Let me ask you. What time is it? And what date?
FRONT DESK: 2 am…Dec 25
WE SAID: What date is our booking for… on your paper?
FRONT DESK: Dec. 25
WE SAID: right now is Dec. 25. isn’t it?
FRONT DESK: Yes
WE SAID: Why can’t we check-in then? If this is the day we’d booked?
FRONT DESK: because in Thailand …our new day doesn’t start until 6:00 am!
WE SAID: what system is your time here? English or metric or something else
FRONT DESK: international..I quesssss…
WE SAID: Don’t you know that according to the international rule vol.1, page 1, paragraph 1… states that “ the next calendar day shall be the starting of new day on this earth & always begin at 12:01 am?”
FRONT DESK: Yeh.. but in Thailand is always at 6:00!!!!

Sigh…sigh… and sigh again! We gave up! So what should we do? Right now we’re in Bangkok and it’s dark, very humid, and we’re very fatigued and hungry after 18 hours flight. So we asked for any available room and paid for it right there. We got the room and the next morning we called our tour company and yelled at them over the phone (sorry guys..I know the Thai golden rule “Don’t ask why…Don’t ask too many questions..Just accept things as they are”) At the end our tour company paid half of the first night cost, cause it’s their mistake!)

I always think we’re very darn smart couple. Each trip is always well thought, researched, and planed out carefully so nothing is amiss.
Ahh…But this is Thailand!!

Tom Yum Gai - Lemon Grass Soup with Chicken

Today I am giving you the full menu for our school lunches. This is what the students eat over a four week period. There are actually three different menus: kindergarten, junior school and senior school. As there are some repeats I will just give you the menu for the older students. Not everyone eats the same thing at the same time. There are 1,800 students (and one small kitchen) so not everyone can have a rice based meal at the same time. So, half of the school have rice while the other half have some kind of soup. I will show you the kitchen and rice-cookers later.

Khao Mun Gai Tod - Fried Chicken on Rice

The following is the menu for the senior school:

Fried chicken with rice
Green curry with pork + cucumber with egg
Fried pork and basil on rice + chicken with fried garlic
Egg noodle soup with wonton
Rice porridge with pork
Macaroni soup
Fried rice with egg and mini sausages
Lemon grass soup with chicken + bamboo shoots with egg
Fried chicken basil + Tang-lan soup
Stir fried bamboo + Chinese sausage
Fried pork basil + omelet
Chicken curry with bamboo shoots + stir-fried cabbage
Fried thick noodle in soy source
Fried chilli with pork and long-beans + fried sausage
Noodle soup with steamed pork
Rice porridge with chicken
Orange curry + omelet
Chicken on rice
Noodles in thick gravy
Red pork with rice

I think my favourites out of this are: lemon grass soup (tom yum gai), fried chicken with rice (khao mun gai tod), egg noodle soup with wonton (ba mee nam), green curry with pork (gang kee-o waen moo), chicken curry with bamboo shoots (gang gai sai noh mai) and probably quite a few others. Before I give you the Top 10 School Lunches as voted by the students, what do you think will be their favourite meals?

The academic study of culture falls in the discipline of Anthropology or Social Anthropology. The West encountered new cultures after Christopher Columbus discovered the Americas in 1494 AD and Vasco da Gama found the sea route to India in 1498 AD. The interest in other cultures led to a serious study of all cultures. The pioneers in this field are Franz Boas, A.R.Radcliffe Brown, W.H.R.Rivers and Sir Grafton Elliot Smith.

For Elliot Smith, all cultures had their roots in the Egyptian culture. This approach is called the diffusionism in Social Anthropology. In a modified form, the German, Leo Forbenius developed the concept of Kulturkreise or Culture Circles: that is culture spresd from many centres. There is another school which argues that each culture evolves on its own. The reality perhaps is a mixture of many elements.

Thailand’s culture is immensely rich and it is vibrantly alive. This is perhaps because it has kept alive its past traditions. Besides, these traditions are recreated and reinvented every day in the daily life of people. Buddhism has unlimited wealth and creativity. One visit to the temple of Wat Phra Kew and Wat Po would demonstrate this. Not only Loy Krathong or Songkran, rich festivals, even the day to day greetings and respect for elders tell us of the beauty of social interaction.

Even the small temples on different intersections and roundabouts tell us what prayer is or what is devotion. The most famous of all such shrines is the Erawan shrine. Smartly dressed, apparently westernised people establish their communion with the creator everyday.

This gives a vibrant sanity to Thai Culture. The bond with tradition is strong and in the language of the poet T.S.Eliot, the Thais have successfully established the “contemporaneity of the past”.

Later this week I am planning on showing you the "Top 10 Thai School Lunches". In any other blog, this probably wouldn't be of interest. But, this is Thailand and Thai food is really delicious. What is going to be fascinating to see is what food the students enjoy eating the most at school. Will it be one of the Thai dishes or one that is Western influenced like Macaroni? You will have to wait and find out.

Today I want to talk a little about the steps students go through to eat at school. As you can see in the top picture, the students are all lined up to receive a bowl of rice soup from one of the serving ladies. What makes this a little different to Western countries is that the students will "wai' and say thank you before they take the bowl of food. This is ingrained into the students. They must always "wai" first before receiving anything.

Other schools, particularly the secondary schools, are a little different to us. They might have lots of little stalls in the canteen and the students can choose what they want to eat every day. At my school, the menu is set and there is a four week rotation. In total we have 20 meals which I will tell you more about later. So, the students all eat the same. No-one brings food in from home. By far the majority are Buddhists and maybe only a handful are Muslims.

On most days, there will be a tray of condiments which the students will use to make their meal more tastier. In some ways you have to be a bit of a scientist to get the proportions right of sweet, sour and spicy. But the students know what they are doing and some like adding chili until the soup runs red. Actually, this is one of the good things about eating noodle soups in Thailand. What the vendor will give you is bland and not spicy at all. It is then up to you to add the different sauces to your own satisfaction. I will go into more detail another day.

Back in the classroom, the students wait for their friends to sit down. We now have too many students and it is easier for everyone to eat their lunch in the classroom. Once everyone is sitting down, the students will then say a kind of grace. This is not really religious but more ethical. It is reminding them that they should eat properly and that they should be grateful to the people who provided them with the food. The following translation of the grace was done by Gor when he was my Primary 6 student a number of years ago.

"During the time that we eat lunch, don't speak or say things that aren't good. Don't make a noise. Take enough food for only one mouthful. Chew the food into little pieces so that you can digest the food properly. Before you get up from your seat, clean up your desk. Put the plate or a bowl orderly into the enameled basin. You mustn't waste any food. You must eat it all. There are many starving children in the world. Pity all of the children that don't have anything to eat. All of the food has a worth. When you eat food you must have good manners. Don't chew the food loudly. Don't talk when you are eating and don't say something that is bad. Don't laugh when you are eating. Thank you to our teachers that take care of us and all of the cooks that make us the food we eat. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much."

After that they then start eating. Everything is done very orderly and the students eat quietly. When they have finished, they put any waste food in a plastic bucket and their plates in an enamel bowl. Students who are on duty for that day will clean the classroom and then take the dirty plates and waste food down to the kitchen. Waste food is later fed to the stray dogs. The plates are washed by the kitchen staff. However, the spoons and forks (they don't use knives or chopsticks) are washed by the students on duty. After they have finished eating, many of the students then go to brush their teeth.

Ramindra Road in Bangkok is wide, beautiful and long. On both sides it is dotted with lovely bungalows and apartments. There is also a major branch of Central Plaza. While walking around, I took this snap of a mango tree from atop an overbridge. The tree is standing heavy with fruit and there is a lovely house near by. This is a rare sight in the busy part of a metropolis.

Having devoted me last few blogs to the learning of the Thai language and the seedy goings-on in Kanchanaburi I thought I would do a u-turn and and go back to one of me fave subjects and that is, the gory details surrounding the ins and outs of the country’s leaders.

Thailand has many a great rivalry. We have Pizza Hut vs Pizza Company, Man U vs Liverpool, Nana Plaza vs Patpong, Channel 3 soap operas vs Channel 7’s but at the end of the day, nothing quite matches The Thai Army vs The Thai Police. For many a strange reason the two great forces behind ‘protecting’ the country have had it in for each other over the years and the story of a certain Maj-Gen Sae Dum vs Pol-Gen Sun says it all.

Well, our army friend in writing here, Mr Dum, had a fascinating infatuation for a collection of guns with which the police weren’t too pleased about and so they tried on occasions to have Mr Dum quit the habit of driving around Bangkok with a hundred machine guns in his car. Eventhough just a little Major General, Mr Dum had won admiration for all sorts of dangerous missions and was not in the habit of being spoken to by the pompy police. The police on getting pretty cheesed-off with the lawless behaviour of Mr Dum decided to arrest him outside his office a few years back only for the arresting officer to be on the receiving end of a dozen kickes to the head live on TV with Mr Dum swearing at the cameras to the likes of ‘Darned police have no respect for an Army Officer!’

Well, that was the start of a barrage of verbal assault thrown from both sides and especially Mr Dum’s. It grasped the attention of the country’s police chief Mr Sun and he arranged to dice up a bitta revenge and had a whole string of commandos, fifteen helicopters and three tanks pursue Mr Dum at some hotel on Ratchadapisek Road while Mr Dum was stashing up a whole car full of ammunition while a team of TV reporters are ‘in on the action’. All the viewers were soon witnessing Mr Dum madly throwing a few punches and smacking a couple of the police round the back of the head with one of his guns. Absolutey infuriated at the disrespect shown by Police Chief Sun, Maj-Gen Dum who was/is an incredibly influential military man and a personal friend of the PM’s was seen after, on a few chat shows swearing about the corrupt behaviour of Mr Sun and calling for his resignation. Well, by this time no-one was listening to his complaints as Mr Sun had become famous for cleaning up the image of the police and known for his well-known ‘anti police corruption stance’.

That was, until Mr Dum had somehow managed to receive copies of a whole stack of bank-books ‘made in the USA’ and millions of dollars in the name of Mr Sun’s minor wife in California. Not long after, Mr Sun, on getting a bash in the face by his formal wife and a right telling off by the PM Thaksin decided to hand in his resignation only for him to swear avengance against Mr Dum. As I said, Maj-Gen Dum has made quite a name for himself for his ‘dangerous missions’ and his last one, just last year, saw him sunbathing for two months, growing a two foot beard, learning the southern dialect and infiltrating the Mujahadeen in a top-secret mission in the restless deep south provinces. That was until the former police chief Mr Sun somehow got to contact the terrorist organization and give them the lowdown on Maj-Gen Dum and his antics dressed-up as a Muslim Roti Vendor pushing a cart outside the Mujahadeen’s main office. Finally, Mr Dum fled for his life and is now back in Bangkok (I think) and back to a cozy office job and still enjoying his collection of ‘big guns’. As for the former police chief, he has fled the scene.

Besides just Maj-Gen Dum, a whole flurry of other folks have had a full-on confrontation with the country’s police and the most famous of such folk over the past couple of years or so has had to be…a certain Mr Chuwit. Our massage parlour tycoon friend here Mr Chuwit was the owner of a whole fleet of naughty massage parlours on Ratchadphisek Road and made a name for himself along the lines of ‘mafia-like’. Mr Chuwit first made headlines when he decided to bulldoze down a hundred or so bar-beers along Sukhumvit as they hadn’t paid the rent owned to him for the use of his land. Next, the police got into the action and before we know it they are arresting Mr Chuwit for naughty goings-on behind the curtains of his massage parlour rooms. Fuming at this, Mr Chuwit was seen ranting away live on TV for the next couple of months claiming the reason behind his arrest was that he hadn’t paid enough money under the table to the local police. A total of more than fifty high ranking police officers got transferred out of the area because of the so-called ‘kick-backs’ they had been receiving from Mr Chuwit over the years.

Mr Chuwit spent just a night or so behind bars and even got a prison warden sacked from his job after the warden had charged him a few thousand baht for his wife to bring in a plate of fried rice for him. Fearing for his life of course, Mr Chuwit decided to become a politician and after a decent showing in the Bangkok Governor Elections in which he came in third, is now a party-list MP for the Chart Thai Party. Quite amazing really, for a guy with a Masters Degree from the US and a ‘lover-of-the ladies’ to be liked so much by the Thai people. Then, just last year he was down the police station again after his wife had reported him for ‘punching her in the face’ a few times. On being questioned by ITV News he stated ‘This is personal business, but all I want to say is that she deserved it. I also told her to watch her big mouth from now on or I’ll give her another big slapping!’

In fact, along with the thai-blog's blogger - BKK Inkslinger, I’ve actually seen Mr Chuwit just the once, and that was ironically at a Catholic Church along Soi Ruam Rudee one Christmas Eve Night while listening to Mass by Father Joe!

Then we have the very well-known story of a certain former police captain cum lawyer cum politician from the Bang Mot District of Thonburi named something like Mr Chalert, famed also for his ‘mafia-like’ stance and the three obnoxious sons of his. Following in their father’s footsteps, the three sons were soon terrorizing the bars, pubs and discos of Bangkok, Pattaya and Phuket and being arrested on a handful of occasions for physically assaulting anyone for staring them in the eye or not showing them enough respect. After a certain ‘happening’ at a disco (on Ratchadaphisek Road again!) in which a police sargaent was shot in the head, one of the sons fled the scene for 6 months and gone missing while ‘dad’ collected enough evidence to prove his son had nothing to do in the killing. As it is against the law in Thailand to critcize a judge’s decision I can only say that ‘It must have been a fair trial’. I don’t think many people in the senate were too pleased with the behavior of this one time popular politician and we rarely see his face on TV these days. As for his three sons, they have been banned by the police from entering any disco/pub for the next five years!

One other very familiar face to be seen virtually every night in the country’s pompous cocktail lounges and expensive discos has to be Mr Patong-ko, the beloved son of the Prime Minister. Well, not so long ago ‘dad the PM’ must have gotten tired of his sons behaviour which included flunking the exams of a dozen universities, drinking with a whole stack of lovely ladies every night and getting out of bed at three in the afternoon that ‘dad’ set up an advertising business for him. Even though Mr Patong-ko hadn’t a clue about such a business, his company were soon, miraculously, winning a fair share of ludicrious contracts including a massive one for the Bangkok Underground. When asked whether his father had been influential in winning some of the deals, quoted to the press, ‘Don’t talk nonsense, I won all those contracts all by myself!’

After a grand total of fifty years in the planning our new airport ought to be opened just a year late, next year. Unless you've been living on the Planet Mars you must have heard about the supposed corruption going on about that one. So much so, that i can't be bothered writing about it, as it would take up the whole of the main page of thai-blogs. You may of read about some of the 'wacko'government ideas in a couple of me old blogs but one of me favourites had to be the propostion to extend the skytrain route to the new Suwannaphum Airport miles outside of Bangkok. What a ridiculous plan that was after the government had decided that all the foreigners on arriving at the airport would be next seen climbing the stairs of the Skytrain with all their luggage in order to get to their hotel, downtown.

I have to admit, since being a teacher, I’ve known quite a few people during the time that I’ve spent in Thailand but can’t go giving away some of their so-called secrets on a public website. But for sure there are a lot of decent influential figures in Thailand and my favourite politician has to be ‘Ong Art’ the Head of The Democratic Party of Bangkok, based in Bangkok Noi, he has spent all his time fighting the poverty in this certainly ‘seedy’ area of Bangkok and not even a famous TV Presenter cum actor for the ‘Thai Love Thai’ Party could knock him out in the last elections.

This is the thrid part of the series and me two other ones on Thailand's Leaders are in me archives. Titled 'Are you being Serious?'

Related category: Stories from the Past

Also see: Are You Being Serious? and Are You Being Serious...Again?

You can contact me by sending an e-mail to

VOCAB FOR TODAY;

Gory = horrible
To be cheesed-off = to be angry
Dice up = to make up
Infuriated = really angry
Stash up = fill up
Bash = punch
Cozy job = easy job
A flurry = a decent variety
Rant = shout
Pompous = หรูหรา
Wacko = crazy

Yesterday I finished my 40 hours of learning Basic Thai language with Thai Solutions (www.thaisolutions1502.com). It was a bit sad to finish the course as it has been very enjoyable, educational and I will miss the interaction with the excellent staff at Thai Solutions who have been very nice to me.

I have been meaning to write about my experience learning Thai language for a while as I would like to encourage others to learn Thai. It is a very beneficial thing to do. But I must admit that now I have finished the course and experienced the wonderful teachers at Thai Solutions, I also want to blatantly advertise for them as well.

Learning Thai is much easier than it seems, although I am not yet fluent and certainly it does take work, it is possible. If you are lazy, like me, there are plenty of companies available (in Bangkok and Chiang Mai at least) that can teach foreigners Thai language. I have only experienced one, but I would assume and hope that most others are probably pretty good also.

My course cost about 5000 Baht (I think) and it was done 3 days a week, 2 hours per day. My teacher was an excellent teacher who taught us not only Thai language but passed on plenty of information about Thai culture as well. She spoke very good English and understood the learning difficulties that foreigners have with Thai language.

In the class were 3 other people, an English man, an Indian woman and a Filipino woman, who were all very nice and fun to learn with. The classes were relaxed and enjoyable (as you’d expect in Thailand) and there was plenty of opportunity to ask questions and go at whatever pace suited. Most of us could speak a tiny amount of Thai before we started and the group structure was very good for us, although our teacher suggested that perhaps some-one with absolutely no knowledge of Thai would be better off studying 1 on 1 with a teacher to start with.

By the end of the course, I am still not a fluent Thai speaker, but I am much closer than I was before. For example, I still cannot understand most of what is being said on Thai TV; however my conversations with taxi drivers can go for about 15 minutes with a reasonable amount of information being exchanged. Prior to the course, I could say hello, how are you, where I wanted to go, how much and thank you. Not exactly in depth discussions. My ability to communicate with my girlfriend’s kids has increased as has my ability to communicate to the people I interact with everyday, making my life and theirs, better.

About a third of the way through the course, I took some Australian volunteers to Chiang Rai and we traveled through some hill tribe villages and taught some Basic English. I was very happy to be able to communicate and understand much more from the local people than I previously could and pass that on to the volunteers. Having a bit more Thai language I was even able to help my monk friend and his Abbott teach meditation to the Australian volunteers.

One of the interesting things I learnt from being able to talk to the hill tribe people was this: One lady asked me how much I would sell the photos I was taking of her and the other hill tribe people for. I said that I would not sell them, they were to keep and show my friends and family. She said no, some of the hill tribe people had been to the city and seen the post cards for sale with hill tribe people on them. They had made the logical deduction that the westerners who travel so far with such expensive camera equipment and constantly take photos must be doing it to make money. She eventually believed me that only a few people sell their photos and for most they are just to keep and show family. It made me even more amazed at how polite, considerate and kind these people are, that they had thought that we were making money from them, but still they were always the most hospitable and kind people to us.

Clearly anyone who is living or staying in Thailand for a reasonable time could benefit from learning Thai. Your experiences and understanding will greatly improve and you will get much more from your stay. Added to that, I found studying Thai was fun and I am motivated to continue with my studies so as I can one day be fluent.

Most people outside of Bangkok have probably never heard of Father Joe Maier. I was not aware of the man myself until only a few weeks ago by accident. So who is this man and what does he have to do with Thailand? Quite a lot!

About a month ago I stumbled across his book of short stories called "Welcome to the Bangkok Slaughterhouse: The Battle for Human Dignity in Bangkok's Bleakest Slums." I was looking for some interesting books on Amazon.com about Thailand (of course, do you think this Thai fanatic would be looking up anything else?) So I decided to add his book to my order. I knew from the books title and sub-title this would most likely not be a collection of happy reads but I was curious. However Father Joe, as he is called, has a real amicable and easy way of sharing these true, and often heart rending, stories. Once I picked up the book it was impossible to put down.

A self-described 'product of the Sixties', a priest but also a hippy, Grateful Dead fan, Vietnam War protestor and maverick' in 1967 Father Joe was dispatched to his first parrish as far away from the Seminary Order as they could possibly send him which happened to end up being in the Klong Toey slums of Bangkok working amongst the poor. It was an "exciting free trip to the other end of the world" as he says. Now almost forty years later he is still there.

In 1974 Father Joe, with Sister Maria Chantavarodom, helped start a non-denominational, community based outreach project in Klong Toey which has eventually become the Human Development Foundation. They started with a one baht per day kindergarten and since then have opened outreach health clinics, built schools and started programs to help the poor in over 30 slum communities in Bangkok culminating with Mercy Centre, a shelter for street kids and a home and hospice for mothers and children with AIDS.

In many of his stories Father Joe writes of a time when growing up in Klong Toey meant life was tough and hardscrabble at best, you were poorer than poor and always had to do without, well, everything! But people were decent and lived by a unique code of honor. In my neck of the woods growing up in rural Alabama we called that being 'poor..but proud!'

Sadly in todays world of drugs and violence that honor and innocence is all but gone still Father Joe is there in Klong Toey where he lives simply and honestly in his Mercy Centre helping the poor sometimes just by showing them someone cares. Isn't that all that anyone really wants, to know someone cares? That's what Father Joe, a hard nosed, swearing and bare knuckled American priest does best and has done for the past almost 40 years now.

Some of the stories in his book will make you want to cry, some will make you so angry at a system that does nothing sometimes but placitate it's own greed. Almost all the stories will break your heart but they will inspire you too. I know after reading about life in Klong Toey I sure don't have anything to complain about.

If you only like nice stories with happy endings then you might want to skip the next page. I am taking a backseat to blogging at this point to post one of Father Joe's stories from his book. Read it and let him take you by the hand into a world in Thailand not many people see or want to see. If you really love or care about Thailand you'll be moved and challenged enough to want to help. I hope somehow I can do some small part to help by sharing his stories and getting the word out. Maybe you can too so go ahead. I dare you. In the end you'll be glad you did. Wit.

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