Being the school holidays now and having very little to do for the next week or so before my ‘privates’ begin, I thought that I’d pass some of the time writing up a new blog.

I got the idea of this blog just a couple of days ago from old auntie next door. Knowing I got this blog site of mine going, belted out “Why don’t you write up some stories from the news, im sure there are a few Farang out there who would be interested in such stuff, especially this one, its gone global” I knew exactly which one it was, one that has grabbed the attention of the nation for the past few days. Well, here it is, the true story of ‘The Ghost Eater’.

A few days back when picking up a copy of the saucy Thai Rath daily I spotted the dreaded headlines of ‘The Ghost Eater’.

After a cremation last week in Nakhorn Phanom the relatives of the deceased went back into the jungle to pay their last respects and bury the remains, only to find a skinny skeleton savage of a guy munching away at a part of the corpse that hadn’t burned. In shocking disbelief and anguished anger they ran and reported the matter to the ‘Nai Amphur’ (district chief). Obeying his command the local hell-belly police revved up their bikes and went to check out for themselves this so-called ‘Ghost Eater’.

On arriving at the scene, sure enough the savage is STILL there chomping away, this time photographed with a big toe poking out of his mouth. Darned afraid, the savage runs into the bushes for an hour. The police on pledging that he wouldn’t be arrested finally comes out ‘wai-ing’ away to all the bewildered officers. Down at the station and with a stack of news reporters waiting to gabble up the story, the police in charge ask him why on earth had he been eating a corpse, to which he replies “I was darned hungry and anyway that was the best lunch ive had in ages.

It was soon brought to light that the savage a certain Mr Sakhorn had been banned from his village after being released from jail after serving 15 and a half years for chopping up his mom. Having nowhere to go the savage made do with the jungle as his new home. Wondering to the sanity of the guy the police called in ‘their’ psychologist who after a 2 minute chat declares to the press “I see nothing wrong with the man, he was just feeling a bit peckish that’s all”.

Next thing we know the police have the savage sign a tatty confession that read along the lines of ‘I promise I will not eat a corpse again’ before being released, only to be heaved off to the local hospital after he almost threw up the remains over the lieutenants desk.

The next day there he was again making headlines with a foto of him propped up in a hospital bed with a beaming smile for the cameras proudly looking at his pic in the newspapers and said to quote: “Its great being famous and now me story has gone worldwide!”. Just that morning a proper psychologist had told the press “There is something with this patient and so ive decided to have him stay for a couple of weeks under my close observation”.

On hearing this Mr Sakhorn was obviously delighted and quotes to the Thai Raj “It’s a grand life here in hospital, lovely food, clean sheets, a quick smoke in the toilet, me own TV and those nurses of mine, well, they are – lush, wouldn’t mind having one of them for supper! To add to Mr Sakhorn’s good luck a few foreigners on reading about his plight have pledged money to his needy cause and the local council promised him free lodging and a paid job when he is fit to return to society. Next, just yesterday evening, there in front of the camera were the relatives of the munched up deceased roaring angry to the fortunate fate of the granny eater and pledging to the press “Wait til we strangle that monster!”

VOCAB FOR TODAY:

Deceased = dead
Skinny = very thin person, resembling a chopstick
To munch = to eat
To chomp = to eat
Bewildered = rather confused
Corpse = dead body
In ages = in a long time
Peckish = a little hungry
Tatty = rather scruffy
To throw up = to vomit
To prop up = to sit up straight
Lush = very delicious or very lovely to look at