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In the plane last time from Bangkok back to Madrid, I was so so tired. It was an extremely long trip. I flew from Bangkok to London and then got transit there to come back to Madrid.
My flights this time were all delayed. When I arrived in London, my flight already left so I had to wait longer for the next flight. However, eventually, I got on the plane.
And the whole time on my last flight this trip, I was no longer sleepy. Maybe because I already slept loads in those earlier flights. I got a window seat (So cool! Coz all the flights before I had to sit between two guys, hard to look out and even harder to get out). Then I started to enjoy the views out there. There were lots of white clouds in the really blue sky. At first, I talked to myself like a little girl, that cloud is a cone of vanilla ice-cream, that one is a girl dancing and that one is a turtle looking at me. At last, I realized that it was so borring, they are all the same, there are clouds, in different shapes. If there were some angles playing upon all those clouds, maybe it could be more fun, I thought.
So I concentrated more and more on those clouds, trying to find something more than just cotton-like and unmoving clouds. Then I noticed that there were both big and little clouds. Actually there were some that are the same and some that are different. Nevertheless, they are the same type, white and cotton-like.
Til now, I started to miss my mum, my granny, my family and my friends. I thought of Thai people and every Thai thing that I was about to be away from for another year. Thinking about the Thai, I remembered how we have such a problem in the south of Thailand, of course, terrorism. I realized that there are good ones and bad ones everywhere. We have cute plants that always give us fruits and shades. Also, we have plants that are pests, just living on another plant and stealing food from it. In the soceity, definitely not just in Thailand , there are people who do good, who trouble others and even who are completely ignorant to every single thing that happens around us. It’s obvious that we’re different but we’re the same as the matter of fact. We’re just like those clouds that are just above us. Undoubtedly, it’s the fact of the nature including these clouds, which are different and nondistinctive at the same time just like human beings. But why do we have to choose to annoy, trouble and disappoint others when, together, we can make a beautiful happy sunshine day full of cute clouds painted in very blue sky? Believe me, we can truly really stick together without any problems in the same land under the same sky, don’t you think? Ask yourself, who wins after all the wars? My answer is, noone. But on the other hand, my answer is everyone to the question asking and who loses before, during and after the wars.

ps. I blog here in English to practice my English. At the same time, I want to practise my Spanish by writing. Though noone here can understand, it’s more useless if I just write and keep it with my own. So forgive me for doing this.

En el avion a Madrid la ultima vez, estaba super cansada. Era un viaje extremadamente largo. Vole desde Bangkok a Londres y Londres a Madrid. Todos los vuelos eran retrasados. Cuando llegue en Londres, el vuelo que habia reservado ya habia salido. Tuve que cambiarlo. De todas formas, finalmente, estaba en el avion de la compania iberia.
A lo largo del ultimo viaje, ya no tenia sueno, a lo mejor porque dormi un monton ya en los viajes anteriores. Mi asiento era al lado de la ventana (Que guay dije). Entonces comenze a disfrutar el paisaje de fuera. Habia muchas nubes blancas y el cielo muy celeste. Al principio, hable conmigo misma que esa nube parecia un cucurucho del helado vanilla. Despues, la otra era una mujer bailando. Luego, la otra era una tortuga mirandome. Al final, empeze a realizar que era super aburrido. Solo habia nubes en formas variadas y ya esta. Si hubiera habido algun angelitos, deberia ser mas divertidos.
Comenze a enfocar mas en esas nubes para encontrar otra cosa mas que alguna nube algodonera e inmovil. Observe que habia nubes grandes y tambien pequenitas. De hecho, habia algunas que parecian y algunas que eran distintas. No onstante, todas eran nubes con los mismos rasgos; blanquitas y algodoneras. ….
Hasta ahora, de repente, volvi a pensar en mi familia. Les echaba de menos. Pensaba en mis amigos, los tailandeses.. y de alguna manera, el problemon que tenemos en el sur de tailandia.
Me dio cuenta que en todas partes, hay bien y mal. En la sociedad, no solo en Tailandia pero en todo el mundo, hay gente que haga bien, que moleste a otra gente y que sea ignorante total. Somos diferentes pero iguales. Somos como las nubes en el cielo que estan justo sobre nosotros. De cualquier manera, es algo de la naturaleza. Incluso las nubes, son iguales y diferentes a la vez. Tambien los seres humanos. Pero por que tenemos que elegir a molestar o hacer mal a otros cuando nos juntamos y podemos hacer un dia bueno, algre y super celeste? Es bonito y da felices a los que ven y los que estan alrededores, no? Confia en mi, podemos estar juntos sin nigun problemas en el mismo cielo como las nubes. No crees? Preguntate tu mismo quien gana despues de las guerras? Mi respuesta es nadie. A la vez, mi contesta es todo el mundo a la pregunta quien pierde antes, durante y despues de todas las guerras.

Still remember some words we had to say before having lunch in primary school?

“All plates of rice,
all food you’re given,
are all valuable.
There are loads of people,
lacking food out there.
Think of little kids
with little black eyes
who cannot even have what we have.
…”

I don’t remember quite well anymore but I still remember really well what it was about and how true it really was.

Well, for Thailand, rice is one of the most important exported goods. And ofcourse, most of Thai families have rice for 3 meals everyday.

Days ago, my friend’s host mother bought a box of Thai rice and showed her joyfully. But what she told me was, “She was crazy already. She didn’t have to be that exaggerating. It’s the rice that I eat everyday in Thailand. Ofcourse, I’m not surprised.”

To me, I don’t say those words I used to say in primary school with the whole class at the same time anymore but I still recall why we had to say and its meaning. I never forget and everytime I’m full and about to leave some rice or any kind of food on my plate, I realize. Words of those and pictures of poor people coming up. So I rest a little in order to eat more later.

I don’t know about others but rice has made me, “Me.” Because of rice that my mum and my granny cooked for me, I grow up. Because of Thailand, the land full of rice, I grow up.

If you can, get only what you’re gonna eat and think first before you’re gonna waste.

My friend’s words might be a joke to her and someone.. but personally, it’s the rice of Thailand that I’m proud of.

Last night, I was having a slight headache but I didn’t feel sleepy at all so I lay on the floor watching tv for a long time.
There was nothing to wacth much because it was so late. Music channels were country mostly. Movies on ubc were so old so I turned to channel 7. The show there’s called ‘Rueng Jing Pan Jor’ or ‘Real TV.’ The first video I saw was so violent. One girl hit another girl (younger one). She hit her with hands, a pot and a pan. She even sharlpy pull the younger girl’s hair. I couldn’t understand what the hitter said at all. All I could hear was the young girl’s scream.

I decided not to watch anymore because it was far too cruel and then a preview of a next story came, it was about “Four-faced image.” It’s interesting for me so I kept on watching.

As Thai people know, there had always been the four-faced image at one corner of Ratcha Prasong crossroads. Loads of Thai people and foreigners came to pay respect and ask wishes everyday. People have really strong faith in this image because they always got what they asked for. And that image was there for a long time protecting people (well, crossroads r dangerous, right?) so people felt related to this image so much. Then one day, unexpectedly, one guy, named A-meen, bashed this image real hard. Parts of the image’s were separated everywhere. People who saw screamed shockingly. Two men, govermental cleaning officers, ran after that guy and beated him up until he died. People around there (including others who heard the news later) were satisfied and thought A-meen deserved it. They all believed that because they believed A-meen ruined their ‘faith.’

After a long investigation, now that we know A-meen was lunatic. He had to take medication from one funny farm in Bangkok. The night that this happened, his dad saw him smoking outside of the house like usual and it was already so late, he didn’t think anything would happen so he went to bed. On the other hand, when it was quiet, A-meen grabbed one hammer and walked directly to the image.

Now that A-meen’s dead. The reasons for doing that died with him. After a while, this story is gonna fade away in Thai society and the world. The image’s gonna be repaired and come back again. People are gonna forget about this whole thing and keep on paying respect.

Personally, I respect this image myself. I went to ask for something a couple of times. And I believe having faith in something is a good thing. But I still don’t think this’ going right. Those officers overreacted. He could have caught A-meen and waited until the cops came coz A-meen was going to be arrested and punished anyways. But they didn’t.

He’s got some mental disease. The police said his charge was only “destroying public property.” He didn’t have to die. We don’t even know why he had to do that. Ofcourse, he destroyed our ‘faith.’ But he’s still one human. In this case, was one.

Why is there “Amnesty International?” Because stuff like this happens. Criminals commit crimes. Murderers do slay. They do cruel things. But what if they were one of your loves, your families’ memebers, your friends? It’s true that they might not deserve a second chance. But people, they’re still human. People are not gods. They can make mistakes, big and small. When we do something wrong, we ask for the second chance. Why can’t they?

More than 50% of all criminals (including lunatic ones) commit crimes because of stress; diappointment, sadness and pain. The society is always the cause. The society adores clever people. The society worships rich people. The society does treat paupers as junk. Only two choices for them to react, one, try to be clever and rich to delete society’s insults and another, just act as rubbish coz the society already treats them just like useless junk.

I don’t think that was the result the image wished to see. He must have expected something better since he sacrificed himself to be this ruined. Why don’t we ask ourselves if something we did and felt for this are something right and fair already?

The day I was back from Chiang Mai, I got on the taxi with my granny, my mum and my sweet Mike. There was some talk show on the radio while everyone was being exhausted. Despite the radio, it was so quiet. I couldn’t fall asleep so, implicitly, I had to listen to the radio.

There were some deep thoughts said by a monk that I’d write more later in other blogs. However, my point is after I finished listening, it reminded me of the first time I could get to listen to the monk’s preach. It was back then when I was still 9 years old (around 10 years ago).

That time, my granny was invited to go make merits with her friends from Samutprakarn’s Oldsters Club in somewhere far away from Bangkok. It was my holiday so I went with my grandmother.

There, we gave monks stuff we prepared for them like cloth for raining season and other neccessary factors(toothbrush etc.). Then we listened to them chanting, gave them food and ate at last. It was yummy and I ate a lot. I really thought I could have fallen asleep easily after that because I was so full and the next thing we were about to do was to listen to the monks’ preaches.

Kids were ready to go play when the preaching time came because we expected it to be boring and incomprehensible. But I was really full and I thought it’d be better if I stayed there, listened and took a nap there. So I did. Then the monk started,

“Do you know about merits? Why do we have to make merits? Why do we have to take care of monks and serve other people?

Some may think and wish that they could get loads of merits and be able to stay in the heaven when they are out of this world. Some are wishing they could get a better life in the next life. But some just did it to feel fulfilled and happy from being good and helpful.

I have one story to tell you and I do hope it will make you understand about “merits” much more.

Long time ago, when rainy season (when monks had to stay in the temples)almost arrived, one monk had to hurry going back to his temple before the raining season came so he kept walking woods after woods. He finally stopped because he had met the end, it was the river. He was trying to figure out how to cross the river. He was hestitating to take another route coz it would take him to his destination much later. Then he saw his solution, one guy was coming closer to him with one boat. He was a boat paddler (like a bus driver :p). He helped people crossing the river and charged them some money for a living.

The monk quickly asked when that man reached the shore, “Can you give me a lift to the shore across the river?”
The man was thinking for a while, he checked the monk from head to toes and replied, “You are a monk, how can you pay me then? I only help people who can pay me. I never do it for free.”
The monk was standing still for a second and answered, “Yes, I am a monk and I do not have money or anything you think’s valuable to give you. But to help other people especially pure people like me, you are going to get merits.”
That man wasn’t sure so he asked more, “Will merits make my life better?”
The monk quickly said, “Yes!”

So the man helped the monk. When the monk got out of the boat, he thanked the man and started to walk away, the man stopped the monk, “Where are my merits?! You have to give me first. You already made a deal with me.”

The monk was a bit confused that this guy really had no ideas about what merits are.. so he picked his nose and made his snot into a round shape and handed it to that man.

He was so happy and thanked the monk cheerfully. He quickly paddled away.

A year later, that man came to the nearest temple hoping he could find that monk. He did.

The monk remembered him, “Oh, hello! Thank you for that time.”
The man yelled, “What did you give me?! Why am I still poor?! Why nothing in my life gets better?! You liar! You, bad monk!”
The monk recalled about what he gave that man, “Calm down. Listen to me. What I gave you wasn’t merit. I gave you my own snot.”
The man, “What the?! You dirty monk! Why did you do this to me?! You gave me hope!”
The monk calmly responded, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lie to you. I meant to teach you a lesson. Actually, merits are invisible. Merits make you feel good about yourself and others. They come from when you do something good for yourself and others. There’s nothing harder than making good deeds. When you can, you achieve happiness, pride and respect. Your life ain’t get any better because you didn’t care about helping me. You cared only the result and that snot. You were obsessed and ignore the feeling of doing good.”
The man was quiet for a long time .. then he realized what the monk just said. He apologized and started to care to help other people. His family got helped from some people who he used to help later on.”

Surprisingly, I didn’t sleep at all. It was fun, funny and cool. Since then, I have had a knowledge about merits. They seem to be unreal but they are real. I proved already. But don’t believe me or the monk yet, prove it yourself. Remember, nothing’s harder than making good, and doing no evils.