Let’s get it on? Not so for 70% of Thai women.

Oh geez. I’ve been gone since Christmas? Dang. Sorry, kiddies. I hope you guys didn’t miss me too much. 🙂

And to get back on the Thai-Blogs saddle, let’s dive right in to the deep end, shall we?

Let’s talk about sex.

That’s right. Reader discretion is advised before you proceed.

Are we all advised? Good. Let’s get to it.

The Nation’s Daily Xpress reported that 70% of Thai women cannot achieve orgasm.

Sexologist Dr Pansak Sugkrakroek says most Thai women cannot reach orgasm because their partners do not know how to help them.

“They just care about themselves,” he says. “Making love is a kind of art that they have to learn so that they can help their partners.”

Pansak says some couples end relationships because they cannot help each other to reach orgasm.

Goodness. This article is possibly the most “sex” and “orgasm” I’ve seen in a Thai newspaper in a while. Haha!

Now about those 70%.

How could these Thai women help the partner on that when there’s a stigma hanging over their head about their sexuality!

From my experience, which probably have changed somewhat since I left the country, it was taught to Thai girls everywhere that we should all be saving ourselves for marriage. That no one wants to marry “damaged good” or an “experienced woman”. Bluntly, no one is going to marry a slut.

Even if you’ve broken the sacred golden rule of preserved virginity, if your now husband doesn’t know about your past, you would have to pretend to be the innocent thing he thought you were.

How is it, I ask you, that us traditional Thai girls are supposed to ask for what we want in bed if 1) we don’t know of what we are looking to achieve, or 2) we are to keep up the pretense of #1.

I’m sure a lot has changed since when I was growing up, but I have a feeling a Thai guy, although he would appreciate a girl who’s done it before and is willing to do it with him, wouldn’t want her to have 15 other partners before he comes around. (Any Thai dudes out here, go ahead and weigh in on that, would ya?)

Not to mention that somewhere out there, we also get the information that we are supposed to just please the husband. Our cultures and society taught us to hang on to the man the best we can. You have to make him feel like a god, the most powerful man in the universe. Or something to that degree.

It doesn’t matter if you get what you want as long as he gets his is the lesson there. And yes, that means faking is crucial. Give a little smile. Make a little noise. Pop that “When Harry Met Sally” into your DVD players, and learn from the best.

The moment he’s not happy with you, you know there are a dozen chickies out there lining up to take your place. That’s how you lose your man.

Ah, the minor wives/mistress/boyfriend stealing vixen paranoia that is drilled into our pretty little heads since girlhood.

That was what we were told. And we followed. That is my theory of how we ended up with that 70%.

Like I also said, I am not sure if things are still the same way it was for the newer generation. I hope that the younguns who might be coming by here could help me shed some lights on the situation.

P.S. Just for the record, I had to work on my relationships for a while to get out of the mentality I grew up with. Suffice to say that I am not in that 70% and I’m just going to leave it at that. 😉

17 responses to “Let’s get it on? Not so for 70% of Thai women.

  1. This doesn’t surprise me to be honest, I really think thai women really need to learn how to love themselves a bit more (not in that way). I’ve met so many beautiful intelligent thai woman who had no self confidence, it seems as though any confidence they would have would be because of men and it’s a shame. It’s not until they can love themselves for their achievements and personality that men will be able to love that too and want to give them everything they can.

  2. Good Stuff Oakley

  3. I don’t have a clue about the real stats but I would bet a dollar that the 70 percent number is also close to the American percent. So maybe there is not that great a differance between women?

  4. Oh, and by the way OakMonster, I think your husband is a lucky man. 🙂

  5. Do Thai women enjoy sex, or do they pretty much see it as a necessary evil in a relationship? The reason I ask is that in my experience it seems that American women are far more “frisky” you might say, than Thai women. Thai women are very “sexy” and love to flirt and get attention, etc. but from what I’ve seen they are mostly talk. They don’t seem to be good at the actual act.

    dboy

  6. This statistic surprised me. All that is held up to be “Thai culture”, the arts, the dancing, traditional Thai massage etc, all of that is very sensual, and I would think that this would carry over somewhat into the bedroom and that a woman would know to look for the big “O”.

    But if she is brought up to see sex as the big, necessary evil of a marriage then she wouldn’t, and matters would be worsened further with selfish lovers interested in getting their own and never thinking about the other side to the equation.

  7. That was a great blog. Very funny. Don’t believe the 70% deal though. I have many female Thai cousins, and they are all 100% pure at heart, mind, soul, and body. Just kidding. Looking forward to your next blog.

  8. Great blog Oakmonster. Always good to see the more difficult topics handled with humour.

  9. Nicely done, Oak-san. One thing to keep in mind is that almost everything anyone of us does either perpetuates some cultural norm (such as beliefs in male superiority or female submissiveness) – or resists it and thus encourages change and a more egalitarian and communicative relationship. For example, any woman who ‘fakes it’ is saying and perpetuating several norms and belief systems. Some of those include “my pleasure is less important than yours” “it’s o.k. to lie to you and otherwise not communicate clearly” and
    “you can’t handle the truth” etc. SooOOoo..one thing to always consider when saying or doing anything is: what do you want to perpetuate, and what do you want to change? 😉

  10. if they were taught that males were king 100 years ago and women had orgasms 100 years ago, then it has nothing to do with that teaching.

    more likely it’s just the same relaxed sexual mores that have overtaken the world that is the culprit.

  11. I have been married to a Thai woman for 18 months now and I know she likes sex but that depends a lot on me too. She is very traditional and loves to please me and sometimes thinks thats what she must do. Ive taught her she is more important than me, and I please her first.

  12. great to know…maybe that’s why some Thai women prefer a nice decent farang who’s caring.

  13. I am still learning about my thai girl friend and sex. She is very much into pleasing me, but she doesn’t seem to care as much about my pleasing her. I am working on that, since I won’t find the entire night to be perfect until she shares the same pleasure.

  14. HI
    looks very interesting!
    bookmarked your blog.
    good luck!
    sarah brightman

  15. While it is unfortunate that many Thai women do not know about nor do they seek sexual pleasure for themselves, I would caution Thai women before they throw away their centuries of tradition and embrace the neurotic and un-feminine Western ‘equality’ ethos. There is something disfunctional and unnatural in American sexual relationships and I think something fundamentally ‘wrong’ with modern American female and male attitudes towards sex and love. We are not happy here. Our families are dysfunctional and most of our marriages end in either divorce or remain empty loveless unions for the sake of children. There is still something elusively graceful, female, strong, and beautiful about traditional Thai women. I would be very cautious before tossing these traditions out the window after centuries to embrace very recent, relatively speaking, American attitudes that we ourselves have yet to fully understand their impact on our families, spiritual well being, and sexual health.

    I am currently in love with and engaged to marry a traditional Thai woman. I love not only her but her entire family. Her and her mother are two of the strongest people I have ever met. My fiancee is also one of the most nurturing, feminine, and giving women I have encountered. She is at the same time fiercely strong willed and independent.

    I am only the second man in her life. I am intimately aware of her history and I know her first (asshole). He hurt her and she left him….see fiercely independent above. In bed, she was all about pleasing me and did not care or even seem aware that it was possible for me to please her. She had her first orgasm from male interaction (not self induced) with me. She now looks forward to sex not only as a wifely duty, or as a way to ‘take care’ of me, but as something mutually enjoyable, as a way for us to be close, connected, and share our love.

    I think it is less Thai women who need to change and more Thai men. They don’t even have to become less selfish in bed because the reality is sex with avwoman who you love, who can reach the spiritual bliss of orgasm with you, is a million times better than sex with someone who thinks of the duty same same as doing laundry ir cooking food for you. Granted traditional Thai women have joy in these duties because it is a form of giving, but if she is not only giving to you but also you are giving to her, her bliss becomes orgasmic and her love for you deepens. Thai men I think by and large are missing out on the true sexual joy that could be theirs if only they learned how to give more while still honoring and allowing their wives to give to them. If they were tauggt this, then sex with a bar girl would seem absurd to them as a million timed less satisfying than srx with their wives and perhaps the whole culture could begin to change.

  16. Couldn’t agree more. I’m also engaged to be married to a Thai girl and for me, Western women have taken the equality thing too far, & in my opinion, appear more masculine for it. I’m all for equal pay and rights etc., but now adays, western women are drinking more than men, generally competing with men at every turn. Im offended by the notion that i like subservient women…..hardly, that wouldn’t work for me either. My girl does though take very seriously my health & happiness, AS DO I, with her. I have found dating western women it gets a bit “this is what ive done for you” now what have you done for me, attitude. Conditional love where with my Thai fiance it is unconditional.

  17. peter tucker

    i totally agree with you more jason,my thought’s exactly and the rest of this blog and it’s content.
    pete..