Old Patong: My First Massage

We’d been on Patong Beach for maybe a week in 1979 when this little lady approached us as we sat over comfortably under the shade of a rented umbrella about half way between Patong Beach Bungalows and Sea View Bungalows.

It had been a typical monsoon day, hot, getting hotter, everyone wishing it would finally rain! It hadn’t rained since last night, all last night that is, but we could feel the humidity clinging to us as another sip of GreenSpot did the trick.

The lady had a bamboo mat rolled up under one arm and a large bag in the other hand.

You want Thai massage, only 100Baht? She went on to tell that she had been trained as a young girl at Wat Po and she even showed us a…”license” so I went for it.

My muscles and skeleton needed some work, she quickly laid the mat out, I laid on it, she rubbed some slick goo over me from toes to nose and then she started twisting and bending and DEEPLY pinching me as she had me pinned to the mat, her feet walking up and down my back while at the same time she had both arms twisted and bend backwards as far as they’d go, maybe a little farther.

I pretended the “massage” was fun and soothing as Patong Patty read her paperback and sipped on that cool GreenSpot while the massage lady did yet more damage to my spine. I’d smile[crying inside]as she’d look over and say “how is it hon”, I lied and said “it’s like heaven”, bitting my tongue inside my mouth so as not to appear like a weeney.

I lost track of time about the time she had me pretzels in some type of professional wrestling submission hold, my eyes rolling into the back of my noggin, I finally caught my breathe as she had finally worked down to my toes, cracking each one in more places than I knew those little piggies could go!

By the glazed over look of my eyes, she and Patong Patty either figured I had a blissful delight of a massage or I was ready for a nap.

My body had not ached so much since I’d been on a Stryker frame in the military hospital, where they’d turn it ever hour or so.

We paid the massage lady her blood money with a small tip showing my appreciation for such a professional massage.

I just laid in the sand til the sun went down, exhausted but miserable, passing out.

Everyone I mentioned the massage too informed me that “Ms Massage” was the best on the beach, highly trained at Wat Po, yada,yada, yada.

I have completed marathons and not been so sore!

I got a massage daily for the next month, by the end of that time, our entry visa about ready to expire, we finally left Old Patong and flew back to Bangkok, feeling more refreshed and stronger than I had felt in years!

The massages worked wonders, my muscles were loose, yet strong from daily body surfing and things were pretty good.

The massage lady fixed me right!