Forbidden acts 1: the Farang criminal

Why is it that so many Farang become habitual law-breakers in Thailand? Buying pirated goods and whore-mongering are only the most common examples, but wait. The most notorious Farang miscerants are deliberately acting against a Royal Decree! These ruffians pose such a threat to the nation, that they could be punished by 5 years of imprisonment and/or 100,000 Bt fine.

Browsing the Net, I compiled a small, non-inclusive list of the type of shady Farang characters that every decent, law-abiding person should stay clear of, and report the outlaw immediately to the appropriate authorities.

Watch out for Farang who try to work in Thailand in the following professions:

  • ice-cream making
  • rice farming
  • dress making
  • barber, beautician
  • manual cigarette rolling
  • hand weaving
  • shoe and hat making
  • dynamiting rocks
  • match making

These are just a few examples on a lenghty list filed under the Alien Business Law. A 1973 Royal decree came up with the list of 39 occupations forbidden to foreigners (oops, I mean, erm… Aliens) in Thailand. This list hasn’t been revised since 1979.

The rest of us law-abiding Farang citizens should keep this list in mind, and resist the temptation, strong it may be, to live out our Farang dreams as rice farmers or buffalo herders in a developing country. Apparently, the existing industry would be put in danger if aliens were allowed to enter the business.

icecream man
Farang icecream men are a threat to national security!

But it’s not all that gloomy, folks. There is good news on the horizon, at least for those who secretly dream about leaving that posh office in Farangland, for rocksalt mining in Isaan. It is possible, but only with a special permit. I guess the Kingdom wants to see your extraordinary credentials for the job.

That’s it for today. To balance it out, next time I will let you know about some of the ridiculous restrictions Thais have to face abroad. If you think this was too much, wait until you see that!

~:)~

16 responses to “Forbidden acts 1: the Farang criminal

  1. Hehe, nice one Siam Jai, I laughed out louding reading that.

    Guess I’ll have to shelve my plans for that dream rock-dynamiting business I was planning then 😉

    Talking of the law not being updated, I guess that explains those ridiculous signs you see around stating the penalty for various offences where the maxiumum prision sentence seems vastly out of proportion to the maximum fine. E.g. “Offenders will be fined not more than 1,000B or not more than 6 months in prison, or both”. I know which one I’d rather go for! I guess back in 1979 1,000B was worth rather more than today.

  2. Yes to me 50% of all laws are over done.
    and there are a lot of laws, that they should have but don’t.

  3. Let’s also look at the US in regards to this.
    The U.S. ice cream industry generates about $20 billion in annual sales and provides jobs for thousands of citizens in the US. The US government protects it’s ice cream industry very strongly with tariffs on foreign ice-cream of 90%.

    You say that the Thai laws should be changed. Ok why don’t you get the US or English or what ever country you are from to change its laws first.
    Change your laws first.
    I could go on with examples of all the other industries you have mentioned.

    Please remember to look at the big picture, apply your criticism you have of others to yourself first. Look into the ice-cream industry in your own country first and see how well protected it is before you criticize the Thais.

  4. Ah but SiamJai said:

    “To balance it out, next time I will let you know about some of the ridiculous restrictions Thais have to face abroad. If you think this was too much, wait until you see that! “

  5. If that is the case how will it be balanced.

    a) by criticising non Thai countires

    or

    b) praising Thais for protecting their own industries.

  6. Neither! I’ll take choice c: writing yet another tongue-in-cheek blog about ridiculous restrictions on foreigners – but this time, the ‘foreigners’ will be Thai. (btw thanks, Brian)

    Leveni, I think you take this blog way too seriously. You remind me of the ‘difficult’ people at parties, who can turn even the most light-hearted conversations into a serious debate.

    You say that the Thai laws should be changed.

    Please quote where I said that.

    Personally, I couldn’t care less about any of these issues. I don’t want to waste my and others’ time with in-depth discussions about international regulations on ice-cream making.

    Anyway, thankfully there are still folks out there with a sense of humor…. Mike, thanks for your comment. I was also wondering about why some fines and jail sentences are seemingly out of proportion to each other. I guess you just wrote the explanation. 😉

    there are a lot of laws, that they should have but don’t.

    Paul, I used to think like that too. Now, however, I’d rather like to see existing laws properly enforced, rather than coming up with more laws that won’t amount to anything more than noble ideas on paper.

    See y’all later.

  7. As Richard has mentioned, the readership is growing. (Yippee!) Of course, we are to expect some newbie readers to stumble upon the brilliant blog entries of our beloved cheekiest writers, SteveSuphan and SiamJai, and get thrown off.

    Pray to all that are holy we don’t have to start putting a disclaimer on your post or worse yet a rating system. Eeek!

    BTW – Nice picture of Clint Howard. 😉

  8. Yep. I was just thinking the same thing about possible disclaimers.

    Rather silly don’t you think? 20 thousand plus years of evolution (guessing here) and 5-7 thousand years of ‘civilization’ and we still can’t have a debate without anyone getting bent out of shape over a comment? Just mere words with no substance? bleh.

    Ok I’m starting to sound like one of SiamJai’s ‘difficult’ people. Someone pass me a Chang beer and the party nuts..

    Better yet, bedtime…

    Night all 😉

    Wit

  9. I guess everything has its place… unless its extreme. Leveni came, leveni saw, leveni spoke. And the person said what he felt with some assumptions. I think its OK! Just as much as I like the topic and the way Siam Jai writes. That’s cool too!!

  10. Hey, I’m all for making fun of pathetic farang who are looked upon as ATM’s by Thai bar girls. But I just can’t cross the line when it comes to anything anti-Thai, Sorry dudes.

  11. Hi Levini –

    Just wanted to let you know that I have shared your views with the man who sells ice-cream in my soi, and he told me that he is delighted by your support, and also wowed at your level of knowledge regarding international ice cream.

    Apparently the ice-cream association of lower-numbered sois is convening next week and they have requested publicly that you deliver the keynote address.

  12. Hey, I’m all for making fun of pathetic farang who are looked upon as ATM’s by Thai bar girls. But I just can’t cross the line when it comes to anything anti-Thai, Sorry dudes.

    So your saying it’s ok to dish it out re: ‘pathetic farangs’ but not take it re: anything Thai eh? Lame, dude.

    If anything SiamJai said was actually ‘Anti-Thai’ he wouldn’t be blogging here. It’s just humor, lighten up, dude.

    But if you want to throw it out there about said ‘pathetic farang atms’ what about your own country men? There are just as many, if not more, Thai guys using bar girl services in Thailand all together than farangs doing the same in Bangkok. Many of these guys are married with the wife left sitting at home. Is that Thai or Anti-Thai, you tell me.

    Apparently the ice-cream association of lower-numbered sois is convening next week and they have requested publicly that you deliver the keynote address.

    Thanks Joe. Good one, dude 😉

    Wit

  13. Hi Joe,

    Thanks for making me laugh. For a second there I thought I was too serious. But thank Buddha you made me laugh at myself.

    Hi Wit.

    Yes. That is what I am saying. It is ok to dish out on pathetic farang but not pathetic Thais.

  14. Hi Wit.

    Yes. That is what I am saying. It is ok to dish out on pathetic farang but not pathetic Thais.

    Hmmmm.

  15. It is ok to dish out on pathetic farang but not pathetic Thais.

    Thanks Leveni, this makes your previous comments clear. No further explanation necessary.

    Oakley, Wit: I know how you feel. When I was in the US, I couldn’t believe the sort of ridiculous disclaimers that companies were forced to include with their products, to placate the ‘difficult’ people and avoid lawsuits. Oakley, I also noticed that you made fun of that in your profile too, with the “S” rating. Cool. :p

    Anyway, if everything goes right, I’ll have the next one by tomorrow, as scheduled. I’ll also try to come with some witty disclaimer for that one…

    See ya’s! 🙂

  16. Thailand would be a good place to retire given enough money to do so and enough wisdom and experience so as not to lose it on the first thai girl who smiles at you. Dont think I would ever want to work there though or setup in business. Being sent there on business would be great given im receiving western wages and being put up in decent dwellings.