Dos & Don’ts for Thais going to Farangland.

DOS:

>Do arrive at appointments on time, Farangs don’t enjoy having to waste their precious time waiting for folks who turn up half an hour late every time.
>Do get used to being away from your family, you can’t live with your mother all your life.
>Do get in the queue, you don’t need an umbrella around your head if you jump in front of any old ladies.
>Do, even as a customer say ‘thank you’, Farangs are pretty polite in a variety of situations.
>Do get used to saying ‘good-bye I have to go now’ to people and not just walk off halfway through a conversation.
>Do, if you don’t understand some instructions tell the person straight, there is no need to feel embarrassed about such things in Farangland.
>Do, if you drive a car, obey the traffic laws, your influential uncle’s name-card is not going to work with the local traffic police there.
>Do, as a student or worker, ask if a question if you don’t understand something, you are not going to be sympathized with if you make quack-wack mistakes.
>Do get used to the hideous sight of hairy chests in the summer, the locals just love the sun!
>Do get used to the local food, you can’t live on ‘Mama’ noodles for the rest of your life.
>Do get used to the locals constantly complaining, it is their national pastime.
>Do, if you make a mistake say ‘sorry’, Farangs don’t give a darned about who is older than who etc..
>Do, if you don’t know where you are going, ask a local for the way, he will tell you straight up if he doesn’t know and not point you in the completely wrong direction like back home.

DONT’S:

>Don’t ask the locals to the likes of ‘And how old are you?’, that’s his darned business and not yours.
>Don’t ask the locals to the likes of ‘What’s your nickname?’, as they probably wouldn’t have a clue what you are talking about.
>Don’t ask the locals to the likes of ‘What is your religion?’, such things are regarded quite personal in Farangland.
>Don’t ask the locals to the likes of ‘How much do you earn?’, you don’t want them thinking ‘What the heck has that got to do with you?’
>Don’t ask your unmarried Farang lady friend ‘And why aren’t you married?’, she may not feel that she needs a man to survive in life.
>And certainly, don’t ask any black guys to the likes of ‘Where do you come from?’, you don’t need to be on the receiving end of a smack on the nose.
>Don’t take your skin whitening lotion with you, you don’t need to make a right mockery of yourself.
>Don’t use a fork to stick a piece of fruit in your mouth, such acts are considered completely uncivilized in Farangland.
>And don’t put your head halfway inside your noodle soup bowl when eating, Farangs can be quite sensitive about ‘their’ eating habits, just like you!
>Don’t bother talking any fish sauce with you, such things exist in Farangland too.
>Don’t even think about bribing the local authorities when you have done wrong, you don’t need to be made guest of the corrections department for the next three years.
>Don’t complain about the time length of having to wait for your visa, strict regularities have to be met since half your fellow countrymen have fled the scene and did a ‘Robin Hood’ on arrival before.

Well, it seems that we have been concentrating quite a lot recently on promoting Thai values to foreigners so I thought I would do a twist and come up with this. And since a lot of me Thai friends have been having a right laugh at the Farangs’ expense on some of me other ‘Do’s and Don’ts’, I thought a little bit of medicine was called for.

As always, please don’t take me dos and don’t’s TOO seriously, just having a little bit of fun.

This is the tenth blog in me ‘Dos and Don’ts’ series and I don’t know when they are going to end, the rest can be found in me archives.