Monthly Archives: February 2005

Crazy things people google – 01

As it is the end of our first full month, I thought I might share with you some of the keywords people type in the search engine. Some of them are obvious but some are down right crazy. It is also interesting to note that most of the “sane” keywords come from people using google. The wacky ones are mainly by MSN users!

Let’s start with a few of the main keywords people are searching for. The obvious ones are “thai blogs” and “thailand blogs”. They top the charts. Then there are the less obvious ones like “branston pickle samui”, “bangsaen beach resort”, “thai music”, “oyster omlette recipe”, “thai people”, “fishing in paknam”, “pictures of obese people”, “vegemite mosquitoes”, “lucky colour”, “thai coconut chicken soup”, “mega bridge bangkok cable-stayed”, “mealtimes and where the food is eaten in thailand”, “htms maeklong sister”,”cambodia teacher”, “tom kha gai soup recipe”, “thaksin shinawat”, “lucky colour”, “total carbs per day”, “thai papaya salad”, “thailand atkins”, “not allowed to wear shoes”, “how many carbs should i eat a day”…. etc.

Now some of the strange ones. These are keywords which made me puzzled at first on how they found our web site: “sarcastic daily quotes”, “ladyboys bangkok”, “thai supermodel”, “oyster omlette recipe”, “the year of the rooster dos and donts”, “naughty massage”, “traffic jam in yaowarat”, “thai word for colonoscopy”, “thai no-hands restaurant”, “the mall bangkapi golf world 2005”, “golden rooster alarm clock uk”, “traffic jam in yaowarat”, “westerner-thai marriage success rates”, “pathumthani boring”, “asian pee”, “magnifying glass bangkok”, “loy krathong song”, “thai fruit cakes”, “naughty words in thai language”, “sin sod thailand”, “thai fisherman pants”, “wedding photos of obese people”… etc.

Can you guess whose blogs these keywords point to?

(1) “a guy singing dutch on the morning show”
(2) “pictures of hairy armpits”
(3) “too late wife pooed in her pants”
(4) “naughty goings-on in massage parlours”
(5) “girls pictures with out dress”

And finally, do you think the person who typed these phrases in a search engine found what they wanted?

“show me university school that give free admission letter to student for 2005 february in england”

and this… “statistics of people that take the last and don t go to law school”

Isn’t this a blog about Thailand?

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We have just completed our first full month at thai-blogs.com. We wish to thank all of the bloggers and also our loyal readership. We are presently averaging 700 unique visitors every day and this number is increasing all the time. If anyone would like to blog about Thailand then please register today.

Tomorrow, we will announce the name of the winner for the Thai Watch competition. This same watch recently sold on ebay for just over $70! We will also be starting a new weekly competition soon. The questions will be based on information you can find in the blogs. So, go and read some blogs while you are waiting!

Thai Zodiac Horoscope

Although the Thai Zodiac is similar to what we use in the West, you will see from the following chart that the Thai version is off by about 23 days. According to “Thai Ways” (Denis Segaller 205), this is because the Western version takes the sun as its reference point. While in the Thai system, the earth is taken as the reference point.

  Western Thai
Aries March 21 – April 20 April 13 – May 14
Taurus April 21 – May 21 May 15 – June 14
Gemini May 22 – June 21 June 15 – July 15
Cancer June 22 – July 22 July 16 – August 16
Leo July 23 -August 21 August 17 – September 16
Virgo August 22 – September 23 September 17 – October 16
Libra September 24 – October 23 October 17 – November 15
Scorpio October 24 – November 22 November 16 – December 15
Sagittarius November 23 – December 22 December 16 – January 14
Capricorn December 23 – January 20 January 15 – February 12
Aquarius January 21 – February 19 February 13 – March 14
Pisces February 20- March 20 March 15 – April 12

I always thought I was Gemini, but if I was born in Thailand, I would have been Taurus.

Australia V England

As I used to study in Australia and I am currently studying in England. I would like to make an approach in the differences between the two countries. I think it would be a very interesting point to make from an international student like myself and to express the differences between the two countries which share a long history. I also want to stress about the good and bad points between the two countries in my point of view.

[b]Australia:[/b]

Good:

– Weather!
– The cost of living (twice cheaper than England)
– All round tourist locations
– More open to the Asian world (less racism) especially Melbourne and Sydney
– More food selection
– Very good environment for studying as people are more friendly
– Better and cheaper transport (especially Trams in Melbourne – much better than buses here)
– Better countryside location where it is more isolated
– People are more friendly
– Kool accent

Bad:

– Can be very hot on occasions
– Not so many Universities
– quite small in population

[b]England:[/b]

Good:

– Can watch football often.
– More diversification in big cities especially London
– Can meet many people from different cultures
– Fish & Chips!

Bad:

– Very expensive
– I do not like the sterling
– People are still quite racist especially in the countryside
– The Weather!
– The transport
– The food!

I think that should do it for now. So far, Australia for me is better than England. I can confirm this by strongly saying, I’ve never been to a country where everyone wants to go to Australia. English people are desperate to live in Australia when not a single Australian I’ve met wanted to come and live in England. It’s nearly 1 a.m. and I should head off to bed now.

An English teacher in Thailand

Hello!
As you can see, I’m new around here…so let me introduce myself.

I’m Pompenkroo…but you can call me Li. I am currently living in Bangkok (Well Thonburi, if you want to get all technical), where I teach English at a bilingual school. I am 28 years old, and an American of mixed heritage. My mother is an American of Jewish (both Ashkenzai and Sephardic) descent, and my father was from Trinidad and is of African, Indian (as in Curry and Bollwood…not Maize and Dances with Wolves), and Chinese descent. I’ll eventually post a picture of myself so you can see what happens when the United Nations gets together and decides to have a baby. In addition, I am a practicing Ch’an (Chinese Zen) Buddhist. I also have been dating a lovely girl for the past month, who speaks very little English. Luckly, I have been picking up Thai rather quickly…so we are able to find a way to communicate, and in that communication the words we speak are simplified to their raw, beautiful essence.

Anyway, I moved to Thailand right after graduating from the University of New Hampshire with a Master’s degree in teaching English and TESOL. I am here to gain some experience teaching abroad so I can build up my resume for ESL teaching jobs back in the States…or so I thought. Now that I’ve had a few months to slide into my new life here in Thailand, I’m finding that I can see myself living here for a much longer time that I anticipated.

I don’t know what I will exactly do with this blog; however, I do know what I will not do with this blog. I will not:

1.) Write about the Sexpat/Go-Go bar scene, as I am not a fat disgusting hairy white man in my late 40’s who possesses no social skills in any cultural setting and is either a tickled pedophile or a sociopathic misogynist. That being said, I find no fault in the sex work industry, yet I think Western Sexpats can learn a lot from the conduct from the Japanese businessmen who visit such places and behave themselves.

2.) Write the “OFMG!!!! THAILAND IS SO EXOTIC AND COOL!!! WOW! BUDDHISM AND DIFFERENT CULTURAL THINGS AND STUFF!!!” blog. The last thing Thailand needs is more neo-colonialist rhetoric that paints it into a almost-fantasy-like wonderland that is just waiting to be explored (i.e. exploited) by the so-called “West.” First of all, I am a Buddhist, so the national religion doesn’t really seem all that special to me. Although, I must admit the Thai focus on ghosts and spirits does seem unusual to me…on the other hand I’m sure most Thais would find my meditative practices and Koan study to be just as weird. Secondly, when you exoticify a culture or person, you inherently alienate that persons humanity. If I do anything in this blog, I will focus more on commonalities between our cultures than differences.

So what’s left? I am sure my blog will focus on my idiosyncratic adventures and contain lots of Menippian-style satire. I might even use the F-word (no, not Farang) from time to time. So, if any of the above bothers you, then please refrain from reading my blog. Regardless, I hope you’ll join me for the ride.

Dos and don’ts of coming to Thailand……again

(Left): Bridge on the River Kwae (Right): Guesthouse Cuisine

DOS

Do run up the nearest hill and not go look for the sea if you see that the sea isn’t there, it will come back, it is a scientific fact.
Do get rid of that big hairy moustache, you won’t get a part on a Bollywood movie here.
Do, as a guy, ‘dress-up’ when going to a disco and not wear shorts, your hairy legs will not impress the local girls.
Do be careful when walking along a Bangkok street at night, falling down a manhole is not a memorable experience.
Do as the locals do and barge your way on to the bus, you don’t need to be stood at the bus stop all day.
Do realise that the Bridge over the River Kwai ought to be pronounced ‘Kwae’, you don’t want to inform the locals you are off to see the Bridge of the Buffalo.
Do, as a girl, not sit next to a monk on the bus, the poor fellow does not need to dash off the bus at the next stop.
Do cover up or put on repellent, allowing the mosquitoes to bite you for the fun of it, isn’t a very wise idea.
Do put on a strong sun-block on your first day at the beach, you don’t want to resemble a tomato.
Do eat out, the guesthouse cuisine is as close to original Thai food as Pizza Hut is to Italian.
Do watch a Thai movie, they aren’t as bad as you think.
Do go for a 100 baht haircut, you will be impressed by the service.

(Left): Don’t sit under coconut trees (Right): Don’t jump in the tub

DON’TS

Don’t bother showing your map of Bangkok to a tuk-tuk driver, he doesn’t even know where Thailand is on a world map.
Don’t jump into the big water container when taking a shower, it for water to be scooped out of, not for you to dive in to.
Don’t, as an American brag about everything American, the Thais prefer everything Japanese these days.
Don’t, when finding a dead chicken cook it up for dinner, you don’t need to come down with the Chicken fever.
Don’t walk up and down the beach bare-footed, Thailand’s creepy-crawlies are not the world’s friendliest.
Don’t go wearing one of those big farmers’ hats in Bangkok, you don’t want the locals to have a right laugh, at your expense.
Don’t complain about the hotels’ standards here in Thailand, you won’t exactly get a $15 room in your own country.
Don’t complain about Thailand’s politicians, ours aren’t exactly worth writing home about.
Don’t go popping any chemicals before entering a Bangkok disco, you don’t need to be pee-pee checked by the local police.
Don’t, when going to a disco take home a girl you have just met, you don’t want to wake up to find an empty room.
Don’t go walking across a zebra-crossing without looking both ways first, you don’t need to be the recipient of a nasty hospital bill.
Don’t go complaining about the standard of acting on Thai TV, it isn’t the actors’ fault they are that bad.
Don’t go putting a bottle to your mouth without wiping it clean first, you don’t know how many dogs have mistaken it as a small tree.
Don’t go dozing off underneath a coconut tree, you may not live to regret it.
Don’t arrive at the airport on an over-stay with no cash left, you don’t need the company of 200 cell-mates for the next few nights.
Don’t take a Khao San Road upcountry bus, you don’t need one of their villians to go through your luggage when you are asleep.
And finally, don’t feel insulted by the word Farang, it is not derogatory.

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