Dos and don’ts of dating a ‘proper’ Thai girl


Don’t arrive at you meeting place after her on the first date.
Don’t invite her to a bar/disco on your first date and certainly….
Don’t ask her to bed after your first date.
Don’t misunderstand if she takes her friend along on your first couple of dates, she’s still a little afraid of you.
Don’t sweet-talk too much with “Oooh, I love your..” etc, or she’ll think you’re a playboy.
Don’t visit her parents’ home if you dont want to take the relationship too seriously, she doesn’t want to lose face if you leave her.
Don’t buy her chocolates, she doesn’t want to be overweight for you!! and…
Don’t invite her for a romantic walk along the beach, she doesn’t want to be too darkened for you too!!
Don’t complain about this and that all the time, she wants you to be happy.
Don’t go complaing about all things Thai, or she won’t understand why you chose to live here.
Don’t dress like you stay along Khao Sarn Road, she wants to feel proud of you.
Don’t tell her about any naughty past adventures in Pattaya, or she’ll worry that you will be getting up to some more naughty tricks again soon.
Don’t tell dirty jokes and swear out loud, she likes a polite man.
Don’t shout at the waitress when she gets your order wrong, she doesn’t want you to get all serious!!
Don’t boast that you have this and that, she’s heard it all before.


Do realise that if she calls you she likes you.
Do invite her for lunch and a movie on your first date.
Do buy her small inexpensive gifts from time to time, she’ll know that you are thinking about her.
Do be clean and dress neatly, she wants you to smell and look nice.
Do ask her about her mom and dad, she wants you to care about them too.
Do ask to carry her bag for her, she likes a gentleman.
Do speak well about the Thais and her country, she’s proud of her country.
Do invite her to make merit at the temple, she’ll certainly love that.
Do try and not smoke or drink too much, she cares about you health.
Do realise that Thai girls are very close to their family and…..
Do realise that to get into a serious relationship with a Thai means getting into a serious relationship with the whole of her family, she wants them to love you too.
Do realise that date with you is a serious thing for her.
Do realise when you become her boyfriend she will be thinking about getting married one day, and…
Do realise that if she sleeps with you, she will certainly be thinking about getting married one day.
Do realise that if she takes you to meet her parents, she knows that’s the first step to getting married in Thailand.
Do realise that she enjoys doing your washing/cleaning etc.., she wants you to know she would make a good wife.
Do realise that if she asks and cares about your health, she likes you.
Do realise that most Thai girls would prefer a guy that seriously loved her to an unfaithful guy with loads of cash, she wants you to understand that.

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124 responses to “Dos and don’ts of dating a ‘proper’ Thai girl

  1. I absolutley love your doe’s & don’ts I will be visiting thailand for first time in january not going for the sex but for as you say its culture is probably the best in the world. I have been webcaming a thai girl for almost a year now and hope to meet her when I travel there wish me luck and. Will report back if I come back that is? Thanks again steve. David

  2. Stupid. Irrespective of origin, all girls want is to you to be a bad boy. Treat them like crap and they will love you for that. Girls like bad boys, marry good guys and cheat on their husbands with bad boys. So guys, slap that woman now!

  3. i m a male 41 from turkey. i like thai girls. i wanna visit thailand at june 2009 . my purpose is meeting on internet with a thai girl before go thailand my msn is okan1708@hot…com
    thai girls can add me and we can chat

  4. I’m not sure if anyone has mentioned this before, but the Thai girls i have met feel embarassed by public shows of affection. Even hand holding in public is frowned on. It might be acceptable to westernised women in parts of big city culture, but village girls tend to be more tradional in this respect.

  5. Olayce Steve Lotha

    Yea am proud of having such kind of fantastic mails n comments, but will u please try to find me a very beatiful woman to get married with.
    I willbe so much graeteful if u will. TAKE CARE am a Tanzanian

  6. I have to agree with everybody that posted great comments about the do’s and don’ts. I really enjoyed this page, great info and so true. Awesome job…

  7. Do realise that most Thai girls would prefer a guy that seriously loved her to an unfaithful guy with loads of cash, she wants you to understand that.
    Maybe because you’re a white farang,the money/income status is higher.The girls have different view on us “other colors farang”.Please comment.Anyway it’s an interesting subject.I really enjoy reading it and thanks for the effort.

  8. Thanks from the bottom of my heart, Steve, for trying to understand us Thai girls out here. Feel so good that you’re not those farangs, thinking that Thai girls are easy! Unfair stereotype always stings!

  9. william phillips

    I have just started dateing a very beautiful Thai lady and just dont know how to explan how good it feels to be part of her life and reading your do,s and dont,s sure has helped open things up Thanks for taking the time

  10. Hi Steve and Everyone,
    I really enjoy reading your bloggs. They are just great! I am learning a lot about Thailand and the people of Thailand.
    I am planning to come to Thailand for about 30 days and hope to find the girl of my dreams and get married in Thailand.
    I have a lot of question and hopefully you or some of your readers may be able to answer for me.
    1. I would like to have the freedom of my own transportation by renting a car. Do farangs have any problems driving, are there any things I should be concerned about driving in Thailand.
    2. I do not want to stay at hotels but would like to rent a room or pay a family to stay with them for a few days in different areas of the country. I want to get to know the people of Thailand, not hotel employees and other tourists. Do you have, or does anyone know if there is such a list or organization that can help with that,
    3. Since Thailand borders on a number of other countries, and I plan to travel all over the country I would like to just step into each of the other countries, just to say I have been there. I notice that roads in Thailand cross over into the other countries. What do you have to do to be able to cross over into the other countries for a few minutes or a few hours. Can anyone help here.
    4. I write books and want to take my laptop with me. Will it be safe to bring it?
    5. If I find A family to live with in an area I will probably use that like the spoke of a wheel and make days trips to all different areas. If I planned a trip that would be overnight what are the most inexpensive places to spend the night at.
    6. I am a very religious person and would like to visit many of the temples, can anyone offer any do’s and don’t’s in regard to that.
    7. Also, I have read that it is possible for a person to spend the night or stay at the temple. Can anyone advise me regarding this?
    8. If I decide I would like to stay longer than my visa how much of a problem can I expect that to be.
    9. If I find the girl of my dreams and marry while I am there and we decide to honeymoon touring Thailand, would we be able to stay with families if I should find any to stay with? If my new wife is much younger than me can I expect to have any problems with the people or renting a room anywhere?.
    I thank everyone for all the help. If you would like to contact me my email is Your comments are most welcome

  11. I met a proper Thai girl in Chiang Rai–doesn’t drink, university girl, brought two friends on the first date. Things were going well until she heard another Thai woman speaking because I was in a copy shop when I was getting off the phone with her. I think she got the wrong idea because she blocked my number after that conversation. Now she’ll never know whether I’m a good guy or not, but oh well. I think in this case the communication gap was too wide anyhow.

    Steve, your advice is sound. There are huge misconceptions about Thai women and it is very difficult to find online information about dating good Thai girls. I’m 28, and I’m only interested in an educated, conservative woman who I can have a real relationship with–no one-night stands or bargirls for me. Thanks for helping keep the record straight. These women deserve our respect.

  12. I am preparing to get engaged in Thailand. I have seen many different versions and many different suggestions. In our case we are going to honor the 1 year recommendation of being engaged and then married after that. I have been to her home and on the second day her family warmed up to very good. As I do not want to do anything wrong in accordance to customs could you provide me the step by step things I am support to do and in what order. My girlfriend did tell me I would have to bring the dowry on this trip. I also understand I have to ask her father first. do I just hand him the money after asking or is there a more correct way. l do not speak any Thai would be more proper for me to take a interpertor rather than have my girlfriend speak for me. Just dont want to make any mistakes.

  13. Phil
    I think you are a bit too innocent for this kind of comittment.
    The fact that you have so many questions should tell you something.
    Try and discover the place for yourself first and then look to the relationship side of things.
    Spending time travelling in Thailand is highly rcommended because there is no right or wrong way for you unless you discover it for yourself first.

  14. You are all very naive. Thailand is not the place to come to “fall in love” with a woman. There are so many differences between Thai/Asian culture and western culture and you all tend to see things through western glasses. Please all grow up and read some of the horror stories of men who have fallen in love here – not just with “bar-girl” but with any girl.

  15. Sadananda Salam

    wowwwwww this is what i can say.

  16. Hi Mam,
    Can u recognize me? I am your Nannu met U few days ago at Bangkok Bar near Nana. We together went for Pattya beach tour. I told U if you need anything call me I will send those from here. I am from India. I love u very much. Pls mail me at my address:

  17. Great post! Meet Beautiful Thai women.

  18. I was going to write a similar blog concerning this topic, you beat me to it. You did a nice job! Thanks and well add your RSS to come categories on our blogs. Thanks so much, Jon B.

  19. In the wrong hands, your post could ruin “good” thai girls, but was very educational. Hopefully, your post will be used by “honest” men looking to meet thai girls, instead of foreigners just looking for a good time. I ended up meeting a “good” girl, and it was very different than my experiance with western women. Asian women take care of their men. Your post has helped me bridge part of the culture gap. Thankyou.

  20. Nice observation on Thai women!

    In Thai, we have a saying that goes “Wink the eyes when entering a city where people have small eyes”.

    I think it’s a way to let go of the ego while living abroad, by giving an importance to what people in that particular place value.

    This makes it easy for us to live anywhere in this world.

  21. I would agree with you, i must say i’m a little embarrassed with the way some westerners behave in Thailand, and the way they treat the Thai people. If it wasn’t so hot i would live over there.


  22. PLR Dating EBooks

    Hi i read your blog That’s a great and highly informative article on dating in Thailand.I believe that there are a great number of thais who didn’t read your blogs.

  23. What if she visits your parents

  24. Thanks for sharing your ideas. Cheers!